My life is complete hell right now.

[RedDEE]

Three weeks ago, I found a huge bottle of pills in the basement here where I'm currently living. They were called Gabapentin, and they expired in 2015. I had been taking them to get high, and they've made me feel pretty dang good, and they stopped the voices in my head that talk mean things to me. I've been taking them, up until 2 days ago, and I haven't been able to leave the bed. The mean voices have come back, much worse than before. I'm withdrawing off this shit like a motherfucker, and I feel like complete hell. My body is aching, I feel like I'm hot and cold at the same time, I can't sleep much because the voices won't shut the fuck up.

I feel the most depressed I ever have in my life. I had some of the most absurd, sad dreams of my life the past 2 nights. I dreamed that Sanctioned Suicide was a TV show, and in my dream the main character of the show was a 3-headed girl, and one of her faces was black and disfigured.. and for some reason that dream me bawl my eyes out, I woke up crying and every time I think back to this dream I start crying again. It just felt so extremely sad. And in another dream, I saw someone take SN and the liquid was all blue. And this also was extremely sad.

I've had horrible nausea, and I feel like I'm dying, and I'm not, unfortunately. When I was on these pills, I felt too happy to CTB, and now I feel too shitty. I found one more pill that I dropped, and I took it 45 minutes ago, and it has made me feel good enough to get up out of bed and come talk to you guys.

I'm about to go back in the basement and see if I can find another bottle of these pills, while I feel good...

 

[whywere]

I have been on Gabapentin before, and at least for me the withdrawl aspect was the same as when i withdrew from Klonopin. I sweated, ached and had a upset stomach.So yes , at least for me there was a withdrawl period and my doctor at the time put me back on it then tapered me off of it. My heart breaks for you becasue you are a nice person, and with you being a global family member I wish you the best. Love and peace to you!

 

[esse_est_percipi]

they stopped the voices in my head that talk mean things to me

What do the voices say and how long have you been hearing them?

Was the gabapentin prescribed to you originally, or did you just randomly decide to take the pills to see what effect they have on you?

 

[BPD Barbie]

Are you not able to see your doctor and suggest trying these meds if you explained your situation to them? Sorry you're going through this though, withdrawals from things aren't nice. It's such a sudden drop from feeling so good to feeling like living hell on earth. Sending you my love

 

[Ghost2211]

I'm sorry you're dealing with that. That must suck, but also.... don't just cold turkey gaba. I was on it for trying to control migraine auras. It didn't help and don't like it and weaned off. Even weaning off sucked a bit. Next time when you're getting low on controlled substances slow down near the end and spare yourself the pain.

 

[overcomingfear]

Hearing voices sounds scary. I'd have mad anxiety if i heard them. Hope you get better soon

 

[RedDEE]

What do the voices say and how long have you been hearing them?

Was the gabapentin prescribed to you originally, or did you just randomly decide to take the pills to see what effect they have on you?

What the voices say depend on if I'm high, drunk, or sober. When I'm sober, the voices get real bad. It's like I have a monster inside that wants me to feed him drugs, and if I don't, I get verbally beaten every second.

The voices I hear are not constrained to within my mind. The voices I hear sound external - as if the voices are actually being spoken in real life 3d-space. The voices literally have a mind of their own - it's Satan that talks to me. If I'm high or drunk, the voices are feminine, and happy, and say nice things to me. If I'm sober, the voices incite me to violent outbursts. They dare me to hurt myself, and they tell me I'm pathetic and a lot of shit. The say things they know annoys me - it's like torture no joke.

I believe the voices from a very deep part of my mind - But I don't think they're actually me. If the voices are me, then I don't understand why I'm torturing myself, and how the voices seem so separate than myself.

The voices I believe are demonic, but they stop me from killing myself. If I feel really close to actually doing it, they turn nice all of a sudden and beg me not to do it. They want to keep me alive so they can continuing feeding off my torment. Evil sons of bitches, I'll find a way to kill every last one of them.

And I'm not prescribed Gabapentin. I found some in the basement that belonged to someone else - a huge ass bottle. I read on the internet you can get high if you take a bunch, so I did.. worst withdrawals I've ever had - and I've withdrawled off god damned Fentanyl!