_Minsk
death: the cure for life
- Dec 9, 2019
- 1,111
i know some wouldnt mind that, but its just another stupid thing i have to deal with now, adding up to the stuff i already hate about life.. im not sure what else life has in its stack for me, but i dont expect many good things waiting on my way. i truly start to believe life is making my worst fears reality..
my body is the most precious thing in my life, seeing those things happen makes my soul cry. beginning in my childhood i have become hyper aware of my body. i just cant stand anything which could stay in my way enjoying life to the fullest. i know this broken ideal state of my health is gone long ago anyways,.. but still, if there's anything i can to have the best cards possible for this life, i'll invest all i can..
i guess its most likely due to suppressed stress which gets resolved during night or other stuff which im not much aware about during daytime but it might be another sign for me not being able to fit in this fast paced working lifestyle.. at times i wish i could just run into an untouched forest, living far away from civilisation, stress and rude people.. im serious about that. but due to all the health related risks coming along with that, this seems impossible to make any difference. my only way out is ctb.. i've already set my deadline which would be no longer than 8 months but i crave that feeling of certainty, the relief of know it wont matter what im doing with my time.. i've seen enough, life in general is too random, too rough, i simply cant imagine a life which will meet my needs.
my body is the most precious thing in my life, seeing those things happen makes my soul cry. beginning in my childhood i have become hyper aware of my body. i just cant stand anything which could stay in my way enjoying life to the fullest. i know this broken ideal state of my health is gone long ago anyways,.. but still, if there's anything i can to have the best cards possible for this life, i'll invest all i can..
i guess its most likely due to suppressed stress which gets resolved during night or other stuff which im not much aware about during daytime but it might be another sign for me not being able to fit in this fast paced working lifestyle.. at times i wish i could just run into an untouched forest, living far away from civilisation, stress and rude people.. im serious about that. but due to all the health related risks coming along with that, this seems impossible to make any difference. my only way out is ctb.. i've already set my deadline which would be no longer than 8 months but i crave that feeling of certainty, the relief of know it wont matter what im doing with my time.. i've seen enough, life in general is too random, too rough, i simply cant imagine a life which will meet my needs.
Last edited: