Here is my story from being a freaking Hopeful guy to where I am now, and I'll really appreciate alive on how I can make this better anyway possible.
Well I was a kid who was mad about soccer, and just put all his effort and time into it. After I got bad grades in my finals I realized that shit needs to change and I worked my ass off and got a pretty good grades in all the high school after wards. I was about to enter college that I get struck by a lot of shit I don't even know what caused it. So long story short I have tinnitus and at the starting of college I started noticing that I was able to get any concepts and wasn't able to learn anything. And I didn't tell anybody. And time passes and here comes the finals and I'm not prepared and my parents think I'm going good. And I almost kill myself the day before the exam but I get the courage and explain everything to my parents. And they are now spending a lot of money and time on me and I feel like a bitch that I am just a burden on them and it's been 4 months since I told them this.
Now the biggest problem is my self esteem. Now even if I get any better I have failed so many times that I don't even have the courage to try
. I have failed to many times, I grab my book and when I start trying to learn or understand my ears feel like they have filled up with air my head becomes heavy it hurts. So the thing is now my mind is wired so negativity that I can't even think if anything positive would happen. And anybody so could tell me the solution to this will be like everything to me
. Idk what my dumb ass saying Right now 
. .. And that's the biggest problem I have lost interest in my favorite activities and I find nothing interesting nothing makes me happy I'm in so much pain.
I don't know how to escape I'll appreciate the suggestions
Well I was a kid who was mad about soccer, and just put all his effort and time into it. After I got bad grades in my finals I realized that shit needs to change and I worked my ass off and got a pretty good grades in all the high school after wards. I was about to enter college that I get struck by a lot of shit I don't even know what caused it. So long story short I have tinnitus and at the starting of college I started noticing that I was able to get any concepts and wasn't able to learn anything. And I didn't tell anybody. And time passes and here comes the finals and I'm not prepared and my parents think I'm going good. And I almost kill myself the day before the exam but I get the courage and explain everything to my parents. And they are now spending a lot of money and time on me and I feel like a bitch that I am just a burden on them and it's been 4 months since I told them this.
Now the biggest problem is my self esteem. Now even if I get any better I have failed so many times that I don't even have the courage to try
. I have failed to many times, I grab my book and when I start trying to learn or understand my ears feel like they have filled up with air my head becomes heavy it hurts. So the thing is now my mind is wired so negativity that I can't even think if anything positive would happen. And anybody so could tell me the solution to this will be like everything to me. Idk what my dumb ass saying Right now . .. And that's the biggest problem I have lost interest in my favorite activities and I find nothing interesting nothing makes me happy I'm in so much pain. I don't know how to escape I'll appreciate the suggestions
. I have no friends everybody hates me. Nobody loves me
