I have been on numerous "pro life" suicide forums and I've noticed a pattern in regards to the advice given there.
- They will always try to make you believe that life problems can be solved by simple solutions (surprise, surprise, life is anything but easy thus problems require complex, often unattainable solutions)
- They will always try to tell you depression is curable and it's only temporary (surprise, surprise, chronic depression exists)
- They will act like therapy and medication will do it (surprise, surprise, this doesn't work for everyone)
- They will always try to blame you for your problems. You have no friends? Just be more outgoing! (ignoring the fact society/humans are selfish and more or less evil, which makes it hard to find true, loyal friends)
I seriously don't know how delulu some of these people have to be to sincerely believe the things they post. While there might not be a malicious intent behind these, it just isn't helpful and can sometimes even come off as cynic in regards to the hardships one has to go through.
Oh, and while we're at it, let's just list some of the most common suicide prejudices.
- Suicide is for cowards! (you know how much courage it takes to end your life, not knowing what will come after?)
- Suicide is selfish! (inherently, yes but it's to stop your suffering, not to take something away from others)
- You'll cause so much trouble for society! (yeah, "society" only cares about my workforce)
People just have to wake up and understand the motives behind suicide. I sincerely believe most of them are not even TRYING to understand the motives but are quick to judge.
My problem is that I keep telling people that my problems can be solved with simple solutions but everyone keeps making things more complicated and messing up.
3 months I've waited on the NHS for a start date for a job, only for them to tell me I've failed the pre-employment checks. I've been unemployed for that time because I lost my last job, also in the NHS, because of a boss I can only describe as crazy (he is on meds, says he loves conflict and annoying people etc.)
Even when I started that job they messed so much up that I didn't have proper training or the ability to use the systems due to not having logins.
I passed the checks in my first role so this issue must be specific to the role or the line manager refused to give me a reference out of spite.
I started work there due to being bullied out of a previous job in healthcare, and a therapist advised the NHS would be the best place for me, as did the occ health nurse who assessed me twice during the 10 months I was in my last role.
I've had antisocial behaviour and criminal damage to and around my home. It took ages for police and housing associtation to do anything meaning more damage was done, but they still say I have to pay for the damage, despite me doing everything I could and them doing nothing until it got too bad.
So people on those forums would really annoy me as I'm not the one thinking things are difficult, it is other people making things so difficult. I've always been able to spot problems coming early and to deal with them or avoid them but time and time again when I have to rely on someone else, they leave things too late, don't understand their responsibility, or get things plain wrong. Even this week I've made 4 phone calls to peopel who were supposed to have contacted me weeks ago but haven't. The problem is, everything is being treated as 'business as usual'. No urgency, no attention to the context of individual situations. It's just basically a "oh it takes this long to do the paperwork" attitude, when it doesn't take THA?T long, it only takes them that long, it can be done quicker.
Even with one of my health issues I spent 14 years trying to get it recognised. Everyone around me sdaying nothing was wrong, a serious eye problem that I ended up researching myslef and even telling professionals whatthe problem was and what was needed to fix it and they still said I was wrong. 14 years later one person finally sees me, tests my eyes and at the end said "I could see you had a problem in 10 seconds" and referred me to the hospital, where one opthamologist said "as long as we catch it early it's OK"
So when people say everything can be solved with simple solutions it really gets me because they are usually the ones who are doing things in a difficult way. I could probably go into any of their jobs and automate most of what they do with simple solutions. But I know they wont like that because it will make them feel unvalued and useless, just like they make me feel.
You are right in your conclusion. Peopel just want to judge others. I remember a documentary once which was finding out what people thought of others. They conculded that what peopel like to think of otehrs is that they are a little bit more crazy than them. Not too crazy so they are a problem but just crazy enough to not ahve their shit together as much as them. I started to see that in people after that. I started to see that when I tried hard at something, when I aimed high, people didn't liek it and advised a 'safer' less rewarding alternative. That was becaiuse they didn't want to see me achieving things, they wanted to drag me back down and keep me in a position I cannot cope in. Then when it gets too much they tell me the solutions are easy.
"Just write things down"
"Go for a walk"
as if at 50 years old I've never thought of doing those things as a way of dealing with forgetting or enjoying life.
But what about when you do write things down but still get them wrong, you forgot something but you ticked it off the list earlier! You look at an appointment and still get the time wrong, and it never enters your head to double check. You book a doctors appointment in the morning and the only thing you need to remember is as long as you stay in, you will be able to answer the phone, but then next thing you find youself outside with a missed call from the doctoir because it went completely out of your head.
I can do simple solutions when there are simple solutions, but if there was a simple solution to my problems, either people are very bad at halping, or there aren't any simple solutions because I've been through around 8 or 9 various professionals and none of them have helped yet.
I've left spelling errors in because it highlights my eyesight and concentration issues. Usually I;d spend an hour or two correnting.
Anyway, sorry for going on, great post and on point with your view.
