N
noname223
Archangel
- Aug 18, 2020
- 5,186
I like posting threads. I am sometimes proud of them lol when people compliment me. Might be pathetic.
I search for new ideas. And I had the idea I could write some threads for my own and publish them after my suicide. Several problems with this idea. First of all I don't know when I will ctb. It could happen spontanously. Moreover the mental relief I receive from them happen to me after I posted them. Without the posting the pain relief is less. I noticed that when I could not post my threads because the forum was down. The delay was very unpleasant.
The even bigger problem. How would I actually post it after my death? My first idea was to ask my 2 closest friends to post them for me. They know I am on this forum. However they would probably fear legal consequences. And in the aftermath of my suicide it may be unwise to connect them with this forum. This could cause hell of problems. So yeah I wanted to share that idea but it will never happen.
Not even one single message post mortem. I don't plan to leave a goodbye note. Currently I still fight for my survival. But I rathe see all my thread combined as a long suicide note.
I search for new ideas. And I had the idea I could write some threads for my own and publish them after my suicide. Several problems with this idea. First of all I don't know when I will ctb. It could happen spontanously. Moreover the mental relief I receive from them happen to me after I posted them. Without the posting the pain relief is less. I noticed that when I could not post my threads because the forum was down. The delay was very unpleasant.
The even bigger problem. How would I actually post it after my death? My first idea was to ask my 2 closest friends to post them for me. They know I am on this forum. However they would probably fear legal consequences. And in the aftermath of my suicide it may be unwise to connect them with this forum. This could cause hell of problems. So yeah I wanted to share that idea but it will never happen.
Not even one single message post mortem. I don't plan to leave a goodbye note. Currently I still fight for my survival. But I rathe see all my thread combined as a long suicide note.