Story My history

[commotioner]

I have a tricky relationship with suicide and I would like to tell my story just to see if anyone else can relate. I dealt with childhood trama in the form of verbal and physical abuse. I was taught to think of myself as less than everyone that has ever existed. Now that I'm an adult I don't fully think that way, I still have self esteem issues but that comes from being brutally honest with myself. Living is not valuable to me; I've never been in fear for death and I'm honestly only still alive because I've been waiting for that to change. It's not going to though, and I'm ready to end my time here. I'm fully aware that me still being here is just a waste of resources. Can anyone else relate? Does anyone else think they just weren't born with a will to live?

 

[TheMetalhead]

Surely I wasn't born with such will. Been through pretty much the same thing as you wrote here, had some ups and downs throughout years, but if it wasn't for my friends helping me extend my life somehow I'd probably be long dead. Now I'm sorta trying to live not for myself but for them, which isn't neccessarily best.
Well everyday it gets worse so don't know how much longer I can handle it.

 

[commotioner]

Surely I wasn't born with such will. Been through pretty much the same thing as you wrote here, had some ups and downs throughout years, but if it wasn't for my friends helping me extend my life somehow I'd probably be long dead. Now I'm sorta trying to live not for myself but for them, which isn't neccessarily best.
Well everyday it gets worse so don't know how much longer I can handle it.

I'm still alive for a couple people too, but I know they will move on when I leave so I'm not too worried about being "selfish".