Venting My heart is so heavy.

[bpdiskillingme]

I'm so unsure about how I feel in my relationship and it sucks it's causing me so much unstable emotions (lol bpd is amplified rn) I love him I love him so much I really do but so much stuff just bothers me so much and it hurts to think about leaving him because what if I do leave him and it was the wrong decision and I'm worse off without him but what If I'm miserable forever I do leave him.

My heart hurts I'd rather kms than think like this it makes me feel so so sick.

We're growing in different directions and our minds are in different places now. Im young and have so much life in-front of me, I'm 21 and we have been together just over 3 years and the pain of thinking about needing to meet another person after being so familiar with so long being gone is gut wrenching and I'm so conflicted.

Things he's done and said recently have impacted me so much that he doesn't know I feel like this and it would kill me to spill everything I feel to him because I love him so much

I don't know what to do, I've been so unstable recently with relapsing and just being reckless but he doesn't care how bad I'm struggling, he can't see it I don't know how everyone else in my life is concerned.

 

[Blue Elephant]

Then unburden yourself! Let it out! Be honest! Be honest with yourself and be honest with him! Talk about what works and what doesn't and if needed then solve the differences. Find out what he wants as well! Take it slow and make an informed decision, I will not sway you either side.