Venting My full story

[Reflection]

I'm currently in a situation where I don't know if I should keep holding on to hope or just get on with it and CTB.

So my ex girlfriend broke up with me back in September of 2023, the relationship only lasted a few months but we had been friends for long before, I never thought it would be like this but I ended up falling head over heels for her. Either way I tried to remain friends with her, except I just couldn't contain my feelings and I would constantly beg her to get back, at the time she really couldn't because of external reasons. But I was just on autopilot due to the overwhelming heartbreak and there was nothing I could do about that. In spite of everything I still kept treating her well, and always been there for her.

That was also the catalyst for my suicidality, I tried battling it and for a while I did. But I just kept going back to square one, and that just pushed her away further and further. Especially when my suicidal thoughts overwhelmed me and I told her about them.
Fast forward to a few months ago, we started talking again and got along for a while, until one day I asked her about the possibility of reconciliation and it turned into an argument. By the end of it we were able to settle our differences and meet in the middle or so I thought. As a few hours later she just texted me that she changed her mind and that she doesnt want to ever talk to me again no matter what.

The finality of it just messed with my mind, I tried asking her what was wrong and to understand but she just went stone cold. Nothing I said mattered, she really just wanted me gone for good. My suicidality hit the roof again and I ended up telling her about it, not in a "if you don't talk to me I'll kill myself" kind of way, but in a " please this is making me feel this way, let's try to fix this". She just said that she knew I was manipulating her, that she got sick of it and told me to go see a psychiatrist and that she doesn't acknowledge anything in the past. Blocked everywhere.

At this point I just know it's over completely, I just sent her a message apologizing for anyhting I might've done wrong, and that's that. My biggest mistake was divulging my suicidal thoughts to her, no matter how genuine they are. At best she thinks I' being dramatic and immature.

The only thing keeping me around is a faint hope that she might cool off with enough time apart and reconsider, I just don't know how much more I can take.

I know what a lot of you might say, I heard it all before but I genuinely don't think I have any other way out of this. It seems ridiculous that such a thing would drive a person to kill themselves but I truly love this person, this is one regret I cannot bear for the rest of my life.

 

[shivshakti]

take her advice about seeing a therapist in regards your core mother or father abandonment wounds? it leads to all sorts of unhealthy coping mechanisms, possessiveness , low self esteem, manipulation, suicide.

 

[Reflection]

take her advice about seeing a therapist in regards your core mother or father abandonment wounds? it leads to all sorts of unhealthy coping mechanisms, possessiveness , low self esteem, manipulation, suicide.

I don't get what you mean about mother or father abandonment wounds? I never had such experiences growing up and I already sought therapy to no avail, I also was never possessive about her or controlling when we were together, and my feelings have nothing to do with self esteem. In fact I am capable of leading a pretty normal life, and I never really get hurt when parting ways with friends or getting rejected, yet when it comes to her it feels like everything goes to shit and there's no rationalizing it either, the pain just is.

I understand that people look at a case such as mine and think that it must be linked to something within me, though that's just not always a sound conclusion in my opinion. You can literally try everything and still be met with " it must be something else that has nothing to do with what happened between her and I".

 

[shivshakti]

okay, if you think begging someone and apologising for anything you may have done wrong (and may is the key word here) is a sign of healthy self esteem.
okay, if you think that putting the welfare and safety of your life onto another human being is not manipulation.
heads up, it's not okay.
if as you say you're capable of leading a pretty normal life how does killing yourself over someone that you had a few months romance with come into the equation? except for the sum total being abandonment issues?

 

[Reflection]

okay, if you think begging someone and apologising for anything you may have done wrong (and may is the key word here) is a sign of healthy self esteem.
okay, if you think that putting the welfare and safety of your life onto another human being is not manipulation.
heads up, it's not okay.
if as you say you're capable of leading a pretty normal life how does killing yourself over someone that you had a few months romance with come into the equation? except for the sum total being abandonment issues?

My answers for the first two questions is basically desperation which came from being suicidal, which itself was first triggered by the breakup. I didn't do those things because I believe that I am a worthless human being without her or because I am actively trying to coerce her. Hell if I were to look at my own situation from an outside perspective I would say that those were very much stupid things to do.
The whole situation is not okay, and I agree that it is unfair but then again that could be said about her actions towards me as well. I didn't go into a lot of detail but I have truly done a lot for her during and after the relationship. Logically I should be both angry and indifferent to her.

I have also experienced betrayal and abandonment before, one of which came from a close friend I had known for 7 years. Bothered me a little and then I let go and go on about my life, shit happens in life. People come and go, I get that.
Thing is, you're looking at it as "a few months of romance", but I see it as a whole person that I deeply love and care about, there's nothing special about her but she is special to me. Love isn't just about romance.

As I have stated I did try professional help before and that obviously didn't work. I am also not the first this has happened to and definitely won't be the last, people being suicidal over this kinda thing isn't some new thing unfortunately, sometimes there's just nothing you can do.

 

[shivshakti]

I'm glad that you agree that its unfair and no i don't want the tea on your ex.
I apologise Romeo. i'm in the lap of Dionysus tonight, fist full of downers washed down with copious amounts of beverage.
just so we are clear tho, i didn't ask any questions.
correct me if i'm wrong tho and this is a question "deeply love and care about and nothing special about her" i did read that in your post, right?
your reply does nothing to address the low self esteem and manipulation that i had previously pointed out.
from a third party observer, mainly me reading your post, yes, i would agree with you...its very much stupid, infantile and as she pointed out immature manipulation.
I got nothing more to say, other than... find a skilled therapist.

 

[Forever Sleep]

In some ways it's understandable that she had become your confidant so, you felt like you could tell her all you were feeling. Also, I can believe that you weren't deliberately trying to manipulate her into getting back together again. You were just being honest.

However- just trying to view it from her perspective. Just from a factual perspective, you've made her aware that you become suicidal without her. That is a big pressure to feel. I'm not sure everyone can cope with knowing that the entire well being of another person depends on them.

It's not trying to blame you but it's just trying to understand it from her perspective. That level of dependency may not be something she felt able to cope with. I'm still sorry you're going through it though.

 

[Reflection]

correct me if i'm wrong tho and this is a question "deeply love and care about and nothing special about her" i did read that in your post, right?

Yes, I think both can be true at the same time. Objectively she's just a flawed and ordinary human being but she does mean a lot to me because I deeply care for her.

your reply does nothing to address the low self esteem and manipulation that i had previously pointed out.
from a third party observer, mainly me reading your post, yes, i would agree with you...its very much stupid, infantile and as she pointed out immature manipulation.

I pointed out before that those were driven by my suicidality, because I actually don't want to die and have a decent life and many things to look forward to, but that pain just makes it all go to shit. So while I am aware that it looks like that I have "low self esteem" or am trying to manipulate her, from my lens it feels more like hanging by a thread on a cliff and screaming for the only person there to help you. So I also think she's being unfair to me as well given our history together.

If the loss didn't affect me that much I would've never done any of these things or stooped to that level obviously, unfortunately I'm on this forum right now. As for therapy, I genuinely don't think it can help at all for many reasons.

 

[saturn1402]

I am in a very very similar situation. my ex broke up with me 5 months ago. No contact since then. honestly the main reason I stuck around all these months was because I had hope he might change his mind. Well, at this point I also lost hope so CTB is the only option.

I wish I could have some real tips or suggestion. All I can say is that I totally understand you. I am so sorry for how you feel. People might just say: find a good therapist… but for me it didn't work for example.
I send you hugs

 

[Reflection]

In some ways it's understandable that she had become your confidant so, you felt like you could tell her all you were feeling. Also, I can believe that you weren't deliberately trying to manipulate her into getting back together again. You were just being honest.

However- just trying to view it from her perspective. Just from a factual perspective, you've made her aware that you become suicidal without her. That is a big pressure to feel. I'm not sure everyone can cope with knowing that the entire well being of another person depends on them.

It's not trying to blame you but it's just trying to understand it from her perspective. That level of dependency may not be something she felt able to cope with. I'm still sorry you're going through it though.

Yeah I understand that, in fact I am sure that it is definitely my biggest mistake and what might've sealed everything for me. I only realized it after I divulged it before thinking to myself "what the fuck have I done" because at the time I was basically doing anything to keep myself from going through with it.

Ironically she once kinda did the same thing back when we were together after a mistake she made which she thought would make me leave her, but tbh seeing her like that only made me more protective of her so I didn't see it as emotional blackmail but looking back that was the beginning of her starting to "walk on me".

 

[SchrodingerIsDed]

As much as I'd like to, I'm going to try not to persuade you one way or another, since that is against the forum rules.

I've been there. There's a reason they have the no contact rule for 30 days thing. That bond and those hormones are still attached, so to know for sure if it's love, it's almost like forcing the bond to completely break to see if it can reform. Not to mention it does push them away.

And for guys we tend to act super needy and clingy--and women don't like that as a rule. If a man is begging her, he is approaching her from a position of weakness and relying on her mercy to grant him the privilege of being with her. You see the way the power is tilted? Women want to think they were granted the privilege of being with the man, then that makes them feel like they won, and not like they're donating to a charity.

And you REALLY don't want to use a woman as an emotional dumping ground. They don't like that either. You need male friends to help you through shit. Women are for supporting, not for your support. The man is the rock. That's how evolution has it. I didn't make the rules, I just found them out. For most women, if your mother dies and you cry about it, they'll be like, "Wow, what a pussy." That's just how it is. Again, most. And for the ones who would support, somewhere deep down they're cringing a bit or getting "the ick".

Scarcity mindset is a bitch. There's also a reason for the phrase "There's plenty of fish in the sea." A very big reason.

Your feelings are your own, and they are valid, of course. I'm just mentioning what society says about this concept and my understanding of women, in general, not speaking to your situation at all.

 

[Reflection]

I am in a very very similar situation. my ex broke up with me 5 months ago. No contact since then. honestly the main reason I stuck around all these months was because I had hope he might change his mind. Well, at this point I also lost hope so CTB is the only option.

I wish I could have some real tips or suggestion. All I can say is that I totally understand you. I am so sorry for how you feel. People might just say: find a good therapist… but for me it didn't work for example.
I send you hugs

I'm sorry you're going through this as well. I hope we all make it in the end.

As much as I'd like to, I'm going to try not to persuade you one way or another, since that is against the forum rules.

I've been there. There's a reason they have the no contact rule for 30 days thing. That bond and those hormones are still attached, so to know for sure if it's love, it's almost like forcing the bond to completely break to see if it can reform. Not to mention it does push them away.

And for guys we tend to act super needy and clingy--and women don't like that as a rule. If a man is begging her, he is approaching her from a position of weakness and relying on her mercy to grant him the privilege of being with her. You see the way the power is tilted? Women want to think they were granted the privilege of being with the man, then that makes them feel like they won, and not like they're donating to a charity.

Scarcity mindset is a bitch. There's also a reason for the phrase "There's plenty of fish in the sea." A very big reason.

Your feelings are your own, and they are valid, of course. I'm just mentioning what society says about this concept and my understanding of women, in general, not speaking to your situation at all.

I always thought that was a sad reality because going in I had this mindset that a relationship should be deeper than just a power play or game only to get that rude awakening, it almost seems like actual love (not just romantic) and commitment are secondary to a lot of people.

 

[SchrodingerIsDed]

I'm sorry you're going through this as well. I hope we all make it in the end.


I always thought that was a sad reality because going in I had this mindset that a relationship should be deeper than just a power play or game only to get that rude awakening, it almost seems like actual love (not just romantic) and commitment are secondary to a lot of people.

Men are romantics pretending to be pragmatists.
Women are pragmatists pretending to be romantics.

There are exceptions but it follows a normal distribution curve right.

And yes, I thought it was sad, too. But once you realize that is simply female nature, the only thing you can do is try to give women what they want and need. That is real love--giving her what she needs. It's like a cat right. You don't lament the fact that it's ripping up the sofa. You go, "Oh, the cat needs to take care of its claws, so I need to give it a scratching post." Same thing for women. It's tricky to balance everything. Really tricky. And difficult. But that's also what leadership is.

Women want the man to be the leader. It literally is like playing a father figure. If your father came to you and was talking to you as you talked to her, how would you view him? You'd be like, 'Wtf dude, you're supposed to be the strong one taking care of me. What the fuck?"

It's like that.

 

[Reflection]

Men are romantics pretending to be pragmatists.
Women are pragmatists pretending to be romantics.

There are exceptions but it follows a normal distribution curve right.

And yes, I thought it was sad, too. But once you realize that is simply female nature, the only thing you can do is try to give women what they want and need. That is real love--giving her what she needs. It's like a cat right. You don't lament the fact that it's ripping up the sofa. You go, "Oh, the cat needs to take care of its claws, so I need to give it a scratching post." Same thing for women. It's tricky to balance everything. Really tricky. And difficult. But that's also what leadership is.

Women want the man to be the leader. It literally is like playing a father figure. If your father came to you and was talking to you as you talked to her, how would you view him? You'd be like, 'Wtf dude, you're supposed to be the strong one taking care of me. What the fuck?"

It's like that.

Thats one way of looking it at, but a partner shouldn't be treated as this entity which you are supposed to figure out how to please. There are plenty of women out there who stood by their partners in times of need and weakness and vice versa. I myself have been there for her countless times when no one else was around, even when I was inconvenienced because I thought that was the right thing to do, and I don't regret any of it. The hurt came from her eventual actions towards me that I eventually broke down completely. Clinginess and neediness is one thing but when you gave it your all and got nothing to show for it, that alone stings. Especially when you really care about the person as a whole and that's the main reason that drove me to be suicidal. I can accept the loss and the abandonment but then I remember that this isn't an object or a job, this is a full on human being who was and still is, very dear to me.

Anyhow thanks for the replies and insight.

 

[longtheriverrun]

This has been almost the exact same situation I'm going through, and I've been wondering the same for myself. I know what you mean by hope. It feels impossible to get rid of—it might as well be something that will always stay with someone if they've promised to love another person no matter what. It feels like a curse—I can only lover her and no-one else. Sometimes it feels like 'you' are the only person who is capable of genuine love

For me, that 'hope' she'll come back / we can make things work again is the only reason I've even slightly considered going on through life, albeit on autopilot. Even though she's explicitly told me she has no feelings anymore, and that it was too hard on her, I still haven't been able to lose that small spark of hope

I don't know if you are looking for pure advice, but all I can say is that holding onto that hope isn't always a bad thing. To me, it's a mix of delusion and an 'inexplicable reason' for me to keep trudging through life—but I don't think it's very sustainable; I've been like this for almost 2 years, so I can't tell how my mindset will change for me anytime soon

 

[shivshakti]

Yes, I think both can be true at the same time. Objectively she's just a flawed and ordinary human being but she does mean a lot to me because I deeply care for her.


I pointed out before that those were driven by my suicidality, because I actually don't want to die and have a decent life and many things to look forward to, but that pain just makes it all go to shit. So while I am aware that it looks like that I have "low self esteem" or am trying to manipulate her, from my lens it feels more like hanging by a thread on a cliff and screaming for the only person there to help you. So I also think she's being unfair to me as well given our history together.

If the loss didn't affect me that much I would've never done any of these things or stooped to that level obviously, unfortunately I'm on this forum right now. As for therapy, I genuinely don't think it can help at all for many reasons.

well done my dude!
it's only taken a few circle jerks, several other people and your ex to point out the bleeding obvious for you to finally start being truthful with yourself.
that being you want a mother figure to come save you.
the only person that's going to save you is you and that puts the responsibility for your mental, emotional and physical welfare squarely at your feet.
you can continue sailing your boat merrily down the river called denial with your compass pointing south of which you know the outcome.
Or you could start by being grateful to the very special person for getting the ball rolling and giving you a great big slap of reality around your face that you so evidently needed.
acceptance that she has blocked and ghosted the shit out of you and respect for her choosing her safety, security and the seeking of her own happiness would be what loving someone would entail.
if you want to sit around the camp fire and smoke some fine herbage and discuss solutions in moving forward, hit up.

 

[Reflection]

well done my dude!
it's only taken a few circle jerks, several other people and your ex to point out the bleeding obvious for you to finally start being truthful with yourself.
that being you want a mother figure to come save you.
the only person that's going to save you is you and that puts the responsibility for your mental, emotional and physical welfare squarely at your feet.
you can continue sailing your boat merrily down the river called denial with your compass pointing south of which you know the outcome.
Or you could start by being grateful to the very special person for getting the ball rolling and giving you a great big slap of reality around your face that you so evidently needed.
acceptance that she has blocked and ghosted the shit out of you and respect for her choosing her safety, security and the seeking of her own happiness would be what loving someone would entail.
if you want to sit around the camp fire and smoke some fine herbage and discuss solutions in moving forward, hit up.

Dude you joined yesterday and only been replying to this same post, always in a condescending manner, saying textbook shit that we've heard a million times before when you haven't been in my shoes so you can jump into the same conclusions and "diagnoses" which you believe are right because of course they are when all you know is a slice of what happened.

You can deny all you want that people's actions have consequences on others and that they should bear a moral responsibility for what they do to them, especially if said person stood by them time and time again without fail. It is much more complicated and nuanced than: accept it and fuck off because that's just how we view relationships these days, we don't owe each other shit.

I also have a feeling that you're not on this website because you've got problems of your own.

 

[SchrodingerIsDed]

Thats one way of looking it at, but a partner shouldn't be treated as this entity which you are supposed to figure out how to please. There are plenty of women out there who stood by their partners in times of need and weakness and vice versa. I myself have been there for her countless times when no one else was around, even when I was inconvenienced because I thought that was the right thing to do, and I don't regret any of it. The hurt came from her eventual actions towards me that I eventually broke down completely. Clinginess and neediness is one thing but when you gave it your all and got nothing to show for it, that alone stings. Especially when you really care about the person as a whole and that's the main reason that drove me to be suicidal. I can accept the loss and the abandonment but then I remember that this isn't an object or a job, this is a full on human being who was and still is, very dear to me.

Anyhow thanks for the replies and insight.

It's pretty much the factual way of looking at it, my guy.

Normal distribution curve.

Women are practical about survival. If you can't help them survive and thrive, they will find a man who will. There's certainly no shortage.

The woman reserves the right to change her mind at any point, regardless of anything you've done for her. I don't know what her actions were towards you, but I can imagine, given the respective frames we have of you as the giver and her as the taker.

I can tell you from experience. She does not care. She has already moved on. She's past it. She's already onto the next. That's what blocking you everywhere means.

You can deny all you want that people's actions have consequences on others and that they should bear a moral responsibility for what they do to them, especially if said person stood by them time and time again without fail. It is much more complicated and nuanced than: accept it and fuck off because that's just how we view relationships these days, we don't owe each other shit.

Are you saying she should bear moral responsibility for your feelings? Again, I repeat: The woman reserves the right to change her mind at any point, regardless of anything you've done for her.

It's really not complicated or nuanced, which is what everyone has been trying to tell you.

She doesn't owe you anything, dude. Doing good things for other people isn't like investing in a stock. You don't get an expected return. That's "nice guy" stuff. I hold the door open for you, therefore you owe me sex type shit. No. That's not how it works. That's what shivshakti is trying to tell you.

 

[Reflection]

It's pretty much the factual way of looking at it, my guy.

Normal distribution curve.

Women are practical about survival. If you can't help them survive and thrive, they will find a man who will. There's certainly no shortage.

The woman reserves the right to change her mind at any point, regardless of anything you've done for her. I don't know what her actions were towards you, but I can imagine, given the respective frames we have of you as the giver and her as the taker.

I can tell you from experience. She does not care. She has already moved on. She's past it. She's already onto the next. That's what blocking you everywhere means.


Are you saying she should bear moral responsibility for your feelings? Again, I repeat: The woman reserves the right to change her mind at any point, regardless of anything you've done for her.

It's really not complicated or nuanced, which is what everyone has been trying to tell you.

She doesn't owe you anything, dude. Doing good things for other people isn't like investing in a stock. You don't get an expected return. That's "nice guy" stuff. I hold the door open for you, therefore you owe me sex type shit. No. That's not how it works. That's what shivshakti is trying to tell you.

The thing is, relationships should be a two way street. It's not that I'm keeping score for the things I've done, but one does expect not to be betrayed as the bare minimum . I think that should be basic human decency from both genders, it is just plain shitty to keep taking from someone you have a commitment with then bail as soon as you "don't feel like it". I also fundamentally disagree with the "No one owes you anything" point of view, because if we aren't responsible for our loved ones and each other in general, then who is? We aren't just cavemen fighting for survival.

Of course I know that the world doesn't work that way, and people will ultimately do what suits them best, and will often throw their closest people under the bus should it be beneficial for them. That's just the world we live in and as I said before, I'm not the first this has happened to and have definitely seen people who absolutely stuck with their partners through much worse only to be served a middle finger in the end, and frankly, even disregarding my own situation and feelings, I always found it disgusting. In any case none of that matters to me at this point obviously, accepting the situation as isn't making me any less suicidal, which is why I'm here in the first place.

 

[divinemistress36]

Men are romantics pretending to be pragmatists.
Women are pragmatists pretending to be romantics.

There are exceptions but it follows a normal distribution curve right.

And yes, I thought it was sad, too. But once you realize that is simply female nature, the only thing you can do is try to give women what they want and need. That is real love--giving her what she needs. It's like a cat right. You don't lament the fact that it's ripping up the sofa. You go, "Oh, the cat needs to take care of its claws, so I need to give it a scratching post." Same thing for women. It's tricky to balance everything. Really tricky. And difficult. But that's also what leadership is.

Women want the man to be the leader. It literally is like playing a father figure. If your father came to you and was talking to you as you talked to her, how would you view him? You'd be like, 'Wtf dude, you're supposed to be the strong one taking care of me. What the fuck?"

It's like that.

I agree most women want a man to be the leader

 

[SchrodingerIsDed]

The thing is, relationships should be a two way street. It's not that I'm keeping score for the things I've done, but one does expect not to be betrayed as the bare minimum . I think that should be basic human decency from both genders, it is just plain shitty to keep taking from someone you have a commitment with then bail as soon as you "don't feel like it". I also fundamentally disagree with the "No one owes you anything" point of view, because if we aren't responsible for our loved ones and each other in general, then who is? We aren't just cavemen fighting for survival.

Of course I know that the world doesn't work that way, and people will ultimately do what suits them best, and will often throw their closest people under the bus should it be beneficial for them. That's just the world we live in and as I said before, I'm not the first this has happened to and have definitely seen people who absolutely stuck with their partners through much worse only to be served a middle finger in the end, and frankly, even disregarding my own situation and feelings, I always found it disgusting. In any case none of that matters to me at this point obviously, accepting the situation as isn't making me any less suicidal, which is why I'm here in the first place.

I agree. But should be and is are two different things. Expecting a fish to fly is unreasonable, and if you are so set on that, you'll never be happy.

If one does not expect to be betrayed, one does not understand humanity, imo. At this point, I'm more shocked by the outliers where there is a sense of loyalty. But to expect the abnormal to be the norm is also, well, not practical.

We really are cavemen fighting for survival. We're just pretending we're not, but underneath all that is the same 10,000 year old instincts.

Okay. Well. I'm sorry it makes you feel that way, and whichever route you decide is your own path. I'm just sharing what I've learned along my path.

 

[Reflection]

I agree. But should be and is are two different things. Expecting a fish to fly is unreasonable, and if you are so set on that, you'll never be happy.

If one does not expect to be betrayed, one does not understand humanity, imo. At this point, I'm more shocked by the outliers where there is a sense of loyalty. But to expect the abnormal to be the norm is also, well, not practical.

We really are cavemen fighting for survival. We're just pretending we're not, but underneath all that is the same 10,000 year old instincts.

Okay. Well. I'm sorry it makes you feel that way, and whichever route you decide is your own path. I'm just sharing what I've learned along my path.

Yeah, it's not that I'm denying what you have been saying, but rather looking at it from a humanitarian point of view; though it is true no amount of lamenting it will change the fact that we essentially live in a world where man is wolf to man. Either way I wish you the best.

 

[shivshakti]

Dude you joined yesterday and only been replying to this same post, always in a condescending manner, saying textbook shit that we've heard a million times before when you haven't been in my shoes so you can jump into the same conclusions and "diagnoses" which you believe are right because of course they are when all you know is a slice of what happened.

You can deny all you want that people's actions have consequences on others and that they should bear a moral responsibility for what they do to them, especially if said person stood by them time and time again without fail. It is much more complicated and nuanced than: accept it and fuck off because that's just how we view relationships these days, we don't owe each other shit.

I also have a feeling that you're not on this website because you've got problems of your own.

I thought it only polite to reply to your comments.
Being a dismissive, patronising know all whilst attempting to throw shade upon my character is what id calling condescending. something you may want to reflect on before projecting.
i can only infer from what you've implied and your ex deduced... threatening to kill yourself if she doesn't take you back is the is the workings of a immature manipulative twelve year old boy who's crying for his mammas tit.
in fact its borderline sociopathic to imply that she should bear the weight of your suicide. passive aggressive much?
since you are continually begging to spill the tea in what I can only infer is to garner sympathy...heres my tiny violin perched on my shoulder.
I am firmly in the camp of your ex!
good day to you.

 

[Reflection]

I thought it only polite to reply to your comments.
Being a dismissive, patronising know all whilst attempting to throw shade upon my character is what id calling condescending. something you may want to reflect on before projecting.
i can only infer from what you've implied and your ex deduced... threatening to kill yourself if she doesn't take you back is the is the workings of a immature manipulative twelve year old boy who's crying for his mammas tit.
in fact its borderline sociopathic to imply that she should bear the weight of your suicide. passive aggressive much?
since you are continually begging to spill the tea in what I can only infer is to garner sympathy...heres my tiny violin perched on my shoulder.
I am firmly in the camp of your ex!
good day to you.

You've been passive-aggressive from the get-go, labeling me all kinds of shit nonstop, and went full insult mode when I called it out. You don't even touch my counterpoints or explain why you're so obsessed with this thread, new account and all. I know I fucked up with her and already owned that part and explained myself further if you were actually paying attention and replying in good faith. Perhaps you should be doing some self reflection instead of projecting your own baggage unto others. Take care.