Venting My friend said I'm selfish for wanting to ctb

[MelancholyDolly]

Being called selfish for wanting to ctb and being in pain is one of the biggest reasons I hate human beings. Everytime I've been in pain they call me selfish, useless, lazy, and miserable. But everytime I asked for help no one fucking reached out they're goddamn hand so if I wanna ctb I will damnit fuck you.

I'm "selfish" but you're the person who thinks you have the right and entitlement to tell me what to do with myself. Grow the fuck up. I hate people so much I can't believe my this is from the ONE fucking person I trust.

This is why I can't invision a future with friends or even family they all just try to act like I'm going to get better but I'm not. I'm a never ending spiral of depression and doom even my doctors admit they don't think they can fucking fix me and you think you fucking can?? Fuck you seriously FUCK YOU. It hurts so much.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

I've been through this too with my toxic family and so - called friends.
It's upsetting and disturbing because these people are supposed to care, yet they rarely ever do.

 

[Division Day]

It's such a load of crap. It's selfish to ctb and give people hurt feelings but it's not selfish for them to put their feelings over your suffering?

I wrote a thing in my note trying to get this point across in a less aggressive way, but I never expected them to understand really. But this morning someone in my family (who hadn't seen the note since I hid it after failing) basically told me that if I need to go they don't feel they have the right to stop me. I don't think they'd go as far as driving me out somewhere I could do it though; maybe just not call the police if they heard me sneak out in the night.

 

[FuneralCry]

In my opinion I wouldn't see it as the best idea to be open about anything suicide related in the first place, it's horrible how suicidal people are treat so badly.
But anyway the selfish ones are those who expect people to continue suffering in this existence when they want to die, as after all we all have our right to die and nobody is obligated to continue existing. I know this fact offends pro-life people but other people's decisions aren't theirs to make.

 

[godsseepiestsoldier]

A lot of people in reality, despite claiming otherwise, are quite anti mental health, selfish and unempathetic. Im sorry to hear ur surrounded by people who wont even try to understand i hope you find some friends worth ur time.

 

[sadandlonely99]

If you want to maximize your chances of success with your plan then it's best not to tell anyone about your plans in the first place. Once someone finds out, nothing but trouble will follow and you will gain absolutely nothing by letting them know. Now as for this "friend", I would tell them to go get fucked and find a new friend

I've been through this too with my toxic family and so - called friends.
It's upsetting and disturbing because these people are supposed to care, yet they rarely ever do.

No one truly cares. Some pretend to, yet none of them actually do.

 

[Blue Elephant]

they call me selfish, useless, lazy, and miserable

Sure I'll live for the rest of my life submerged in sadness and pain because of the way you were indoctrinated to think. /s

On a more serious note: Fuck 'em!

Be Selfish!! Don't imagine they are not. We are in the position that we are because they are selfish and we're not, because they put us here, because they keep taking. And if we'll always care, if we'll never be selfish then we will never get anything.

Be Useless! To them! Why should you be a tool, why should you be useful to them? What did they ever do for you?

Be Lazy! Be Miserable! Be whatever you want to be! It's your life, not theirs! and You! make the rules!

 

[voyager]

They'd be singing a different tune if it was them, plus, that person seems rather aggressive and guilt tripping obviously. Doesn't sound much of a friend at all.

 

[fallintotheshadows]

I dont think we should hate the people that are saying not to ctb. I understand their perspective they are at a place where they can continue to live due to their reason or reasons in continuing living which means they value that reason more than the suffering. So it makes sense why they feel the way they do in you not killing themselves. I've told many I'm going to kill myself but none have been able to convince me of anything (alot didn't even know until yesterday which is crazy to me) and a majority actually do accept the fact I very well may do it anyway regardless. Which that is what I will do, I didn't plan stuff like this just to fail at it. But understanding both sides in this world is the key to being able to keep your friends still and not be as annoyed when they say to not cbt. It's natural that they'd do it after all I used to do the same thing myself when I was younger before I noticed my depression. It's their way of saying they care even though they are actually hurting the person by practically saying "we don't care you are suffering. Suffer with us for a longer time" it is selfish but at the same time on both ends it will always be selfish. While yes it may be due to your actions that someone else in what was once your life gets super depressed as well to get to this point too, but it also is their fault for the depression continuing If they do convince you. So it will forever be a back and forth when you think of it like this.

 

[targz]

Of course it's selfish! But who cares, right? This is about you. Never heard of a corpse feeling guilty.

 

[SilentSadness]

Unfortunately it's best to not tell people about suicidality, because it's not safe in this society where suicidal people are mistreated and persecuted. Suicide is of course not selfish so that person must have been misinformed or spiteful. Anyone who was compassionate would never tell someone something horrible like that anyway.

 

[stillvoices]

My sister tried telling me I'm selfish for saying I want to die. I smiled and said ok, so I'm selfish. Does it not make her selfish to let me suffer everyday? I'm 48 and first tried at 11 yrs old. An animal suffers less time. I just have to wait 2 more years and then I will have a way.

 

[jbear824]

Even if it was selfish, so what? We are allowed to be selfish sometimes. We're allowed to fulfill our own needs, even if that means dying. Fuck this guilt tripping twat

 

[MelancholyDolly]

I couldn't have put it better myself, I've gone through years of pain and trauma but I shouldn't ctb because it'll make YOU sad? You haven't been through what I've been through. I'm so happy for you that you're able to live your life happily and freely, but that's not possible for everyone. Not everyone gets over it.

I often try telling myself this but man hearing someone I trusted say I was selfish to my face hurt like being stabbed :') thank you for the reminder though <3

Haha true XD

 

[CloudyNightSky]

I completely agree that this isn't selfish at all but maybe you could try to understand them why they think that and forgive or smt, bc it sounds like they are pretty important to you and obviously it hurts to loose a good friend.
When I was 9 someone very important told this to me too and I had the same though. That this is selfish (and now I think abt it myself every day kinda ironic huh). I suppose it's bc back then I had never thought abt ctb and it was just a shock moment for me and I really didn't want this person to die. Now I know it does the exact opposite. Obviously your friend is probably a lot older but if they had 0 experiences with ctb or maybe experienced something traumatic related to ctb, it can be really hard to understand this. But even if, they have to had enough life experience in general to just know you don't say stuff like that so it's completely justified that you feel this way rn. Still, I hope you don't hate each other now

 

[Manfrotto99]

Its a good way to tell who really cares about you. None of my family and all my friends have called me selfish and put me on a quilt trip, except one...the only one I believe to be a real friend. I now keep it from everyone and let nothing show.

 

[Blue Elephant]

Its a good way to tell who really cares about you. None of my family and all my friends have called me selfish and put me on a quilt trip, except one...the only one I believe to be a real friend. I now keep it from everyone and let nothing show.

Well said! Good advice!