ireallylikemangoes
Ultimately delicious!
- Mar 31, 2023
- 43
It's been a while since I posted here, I've been on a rather unsteady path of recovery and relapse during my absence from here and I just have something I need to get off my chest.
My friend probably attempted CTB, I do not know if they are successful and I don't know if I want to know. I feel incredibly conflicted with this situation and I know it may be selfish for me to talk about my feelings regarding this matter, but I think I might spiral if I kept it to myself any longer.
I know that they use this site, they know i also use this site too. (We do not know each other's usernames however) This was one of the reasons we bonded, we share the view that if people have a right to live, they should also have a right to choose death. My friend has been open about their suicidal ideations and has said that they will CTB in the future, I usually try to make life for them more pleasant by complimenting them and talking about our interests together. I can't and won't stop them if they do decide to CTB because I of all people should understand.. but it feels terrible
It feels terrible that during the time I was busy with work, they had announced that they will attempt. I wasn't even there for them when they needed support, I might sound like a selfish pro-lifer but I could've convinced them to live just a little longer.
I still don't know if they are alive or dead, and I hate myself for wishing that they were alive and well. I'm so selfish
My friend probably attempted CTB, I do not know if they are successful and I don't know if I want to know. I feel incredibly conflicted with this situation and I know it may be selfish for me to talk about my feelings regarding this matter, but I think I might spiral if I kept it to myself any longer.
I know that they use this site, they know i also use this site too. (We do not know each other's usernames however) This was one of the reasons we bonded, we share the view that if people have a right to live, they should also have a right to choose death. My friend has been open about their suicidal ideations and has said that they will CTB in the future, I usually try to make life for them more pleasant by complimenting them and talking about our interests together. I can't and won't stop them if they do decide to CTB because I of all people should understand.. but it feels terrible
It feels terrible that during the time I was busy with work, they had announced that they will attempt. I wasn't even there for them when they needed support, I might sound like a selfish pro-lifer but I could've convinced them to live just a little longer.
I still don't know if they are alive or dead, and I hate myself for wishing that they were alive and well. I'm so selfish
