violetforever
Student
- Dec 24, 2025
- 138
idk what section this belongs in so i'm putting it in recovery because it's positive.
i actually had an enjoyable day. maybe because i wasn't stuck in my room/house like i always am. for the entire day i was practicing driving and shopping with the two members of my family i am closest and get along with the most. i haven't bought myself anything in a few months because i've been depressed and have no interest or real use for excessive new things but today i finally let myself. it was the influence of both being in a different environment and around people that don't emotionally drain me i guess. i feel really good about driving because it means more independence. i even felt like i wasn't as shy as i tend to be in public today. i can't explain it well but i'm normally hyper aware of my surroundings and myself at the same time. social anxiety is probably the best description. all of my energy goes into scanning the area for men to avoid them and trying to not draw attention to myself. but today i didn't overthink. i interacted with 2 male cashiers and they weren't scary. when i'm not around my family that has been abusive towards me or in places that remind me of the abuse throughout my life i notice i have less anxious and irritated behavior.
i hope everyone else here can experience days like this too sometimes
i actually had an enjoyable day. maybe because i wasn't stuck in my room/house like i always am. for the entire day i was practicing driving and shopping with the two members of my family i am closest and get along with the most. i haven't bought myself anything in a few months because i've been depressed and have no interest or real use for excessive new things but today i finally let myself. it was the influence of both being in a different environment and around people that don't emotionally drain me i guess. i feel really good about driving because it means more independence. i even felt like i wasn't as shy as i tend to be in public today. i can't explain it well but i'm normally hyper aware of my surroundings and myself at the same time. social anxiety is probably the best description. all of my energy goes into scanning the area for men to avoid them and trying to not draw attention to myself. but today i didn't overthink. i interacted with 2 male cashiers and they weren't scary. when i'm not around my family that has been abusive towards me or in places that remind me of the abuse throughout my life i notice i have less anxious and irritated behavior.
i hope everyone else here can experience days like this too sometimes
