aedric_artifact
Find me in the sweetest oblivion
- Jun 27, 2020
- 59
Hello, I was going to post this in another thread but decided since it was long it should be its own thread. Here's my story about my first attempt (and only attempt, so far) at suicide.
About two years ago I attempted partial suspension in my closet; there's an extremely sturdy metal hook in there that was perfect for it. I used a necktie: tied the thin end around the hook and the wider part was the slipknot. I was standing up when I put it around my neck, then I slowly began to bend my knees. I think there was about two or three seconds of discomfort before I blacked out - I have no idea how long I blacked out for. If I had to guess, it was likely only a few seconds, but it could have been more for all I know.
I woke up in a state of utter panic; I don't remember if I was standing straight up on my feet at this point to relieve pressure on my neck, or if my knees were still bent, but the only thing on my mind was "get this shit off of me." I struggled for a few seconds before figuring out how to loosen the knot, and walked a few feet to lay on my bed. I don't remember what I was feeling or thinking at this point. Later that day, I told my mother what I did (because I wanted to get some serious help) and she took me to the ER, where the doctor took me back, asked a few questions about my method, and checked my neck for any damage. There were no signs of any damage or even any impressions on my neck, although this was maybe 8 hours after I tried it. Perhaps any marks faded away.
A nurse and a security officer took me in a wheelchair (I was perfectly capable of walking, I believe this was so they had more control over me - I wasn't shackled to it or anything, but if I tried to stand up I'm sure security would just push me back down) and we went to the psych-ward admittance area of the hospital. I filled out forms, waited an hour, went outside with security and got in a car where they drove me to the psych ward which was in a different area of the hospital's campus, and entered the ward. It was I think 1:00am at this point so all the "inmates" were asleep. I spent three days there before I was free to go. It sucked. I would never go back again.
Anyway, I initially created this post because I wanted to ask, why do you think I regained consciousness after blacking out? I would like to try this method again but I don't want to repeat the past. Insight on this would be VERY much appreciated, although any other discussion that's related to this post is cool too.
Thank you!
About two years ago I attempted partial suspension in my closet; there's an extremely sturdy metal hook in there that was perfect for it. I used a necktie: tied the thin end around the hook and the wider part was the slipknot. I was standing up when I put it around my neck, then I slowly began to bend my knees. I think there was about two or three seconds of discomfort before I blacked out - I have no idea how long I blacked out for. If I had to guess, it was likely only a few seconds, but it could have been more for all I know.
I woke up in a state of utter panic; I don't remember if I was standing straight up on my feet at this point to relieve pressure on my neck, or if my knees were still bent, but the only thing on my mind was "get this shit off of me." I struggled for a few seconds before figuring out how to loosen the knot, and walked a few feet to lay on my bed. I don't remember what I was feeling or thinking at this point. Later that day, I told my mother what I did (because I wanted to get some serious help) and she took me to the ER, where the doctor took me back, asked a few questions about my method, and checked my neck for any damage. There were no signs of any damage or even any impressions on my neck, although this was maybe 8 hours after I tried it. Perhaps any marks faded away.
A nurse and a security officer took me in a wheelchair (I was perfectly capable of walking, I believe this was so they had more control over me - I wasn't shackled to it or anything, but if I tried to stand up I'm sure security would just push me back down) and we went to the psych-ward admittance area of the hospital. I filled out forms, waited an hour, went outside with security and got in a car where they drove me to the psych ward which was in a different area of the hospital's campus, and entered the ward. It was I think 1:00am at this point so all the "inmates" were asleep. I spent three days there before I was free to go. It sucked. I would never go back again.
Anyway, I initially created this post because I wanted to ask, why do you think I regained consciousness after blacking out? I would like to try this method again but I don't want to repeat the past. Insight on this would be VERY much appreciated, although any other discussion that's related to this post is cool too.
Thank you!
