L
lostlove
Member
- Aug 20, 2024
- 17
he is the only person i have ever had feelings for and i still think of him daily. i have bpd and losing him felt like something being torn out of me.
he claims he still cares abt me but we live far away and haven't seen each other in two years. if i believed he missed me like i miss him than maybe it would be bearable.
we first fell out 2.5 years ago. 2 years ago i had the chance to forgive him, make amends and give things a proper go. i chose instead to rehash the same arguments over and over again and drove him away. i regret it every day.
i had been deluding myself thinking that they would break up before the wedding. i am losing hope. if he goes through with it i think i will ctb.
of course i will not tell him any of this or my reasoning. i want him to be happy and not feel guilt for what becomes of me. i am debating whether there is a way i can say goodbye at all before i go.
he claims he still cares abt me but we live far away and haven't seen each other in two years. if i believed he missed me like i miss him than maybe it would be bearable.
we first fell out 2.5 years ago. 2 years ago i had the chance to forgive him, make amends and give things a proper go. i chose instead to rehash the same arguments over and over again and drove him away. i regret it every day.
i had been deluding myself thinking that they would break up before the wedding. i am losing hope. if he goes through with it i think i will ctb.
of course i will not tell him any of this or my reasoning. i want him to be happy and not feel guilt for what becomes of me. i am debating whether there is a way i can say goodbye at all before i go.