Hi everyone, as some of you know from my previous post i suffer from paranoid schizophrenia and Major Depressive Episode.
Started escitalopram awhile ago and is helping a bit, but insomnia is pushing me being depressed more.
Dont be fooled i still suffer from depression but its between mild and medium. What it makes worse is my negatives symptoms (excluding delusions and hallucinations) that makes my life difficult like lack of thoughts, distorted speech, hand tremor and the worst is anhedonia and apathy (i have bought 40video games before i got ill and i barely play any of them, often i go months without turning my pc on)
My mom forced my to apply for handicapped benefits that would be around 180$ a month, but i got rejected because I havent worked long enough in my home country (I worked previously in UK for 5).
I also applied for UK benefits and been waiting 8 months for an answer from UK, i dont have any response yet and it drives me crazy.
I started working as a assistant in a cafe that pays minimum 400$ a month, I worked 2 weeks in trial shifts to get employed (they didnt pay me anything) then i worked 2 weeks and then country went into quarantine and i forced to take sick leave (which i didnt get paid and i wont get paid, because of stupid country rules)
currently I have 0.31$ in my bank account, I beg my mother to pay me cheapest rolling tobacco (hence cigarettes to expensive), sometimes i go around town and look in ashtrays any leftover cigarettes and roll them into a rollie, i eat cheapest oats with plain water and probably 0% meat sausages that are most likely fed to dogs.
Recent Corona pandemic makes everything worse job wise. I could sell my PC which i bought for 500$ when i lived in UK but i wont get much more than 300$.
P.S. previously i lived on the street, ate garbage from restaurants backyard so living under my mom shelter is best what i can ask for, but i feel useless, I would like to contrubute 50$ to my mom monthly as rent money and I can't afford that.
P.S. this post was made to fume at my government for not supporting handicapped citizens.
Started escitalopram awhile ago and is helping a bit, but insomnia is pushing me being depressed more.
Dont be fooled i still suffer from depression but its between mild and medium. What it makes worse is my negatives symptoms (excluding delusions and hallucinations) that makes my life difficult like lack of thoughts, distorted speech, hand tremor and the worst is anhedonia and apathy (i have bought 40video games before i got ill and i barely play any of them, often i go months without turning my pc on)
My mom forced my to apply for handicapped benefits that would be around 180$ a month, but i got rejected because I havent worked long enough in my home country (I worked previously in UK for 5).
I also applied for UK benefits and been waiting 8 months for an answer from UK, i dont have any response yet and it drives me crazy.
I started working as a assistant in a cafe that pays minimum 400$ a month, I worked 2 weeks in trial shifts to get employed (they didnt pay me anything) then i worked 2 weeks and then country went into quarantine and i forced to take sick leave (which i didnt get paid and i wont get paid, because of stupid country rules)
currently I have 0.31$ in my bank account, I beg my mother to pay me cheapest rolling tobacco (hence cigarettes to expensive), sometimes i go around town and look in ashtrays any leftover cigarettes and roll them into a rollie, i eat cheapest oats with plain water and probably 0% meat sausages that are most likely fed to dogs.
Recent Corona pandemic makes everything worse job wise. I could sell my PC which i bought for 500$ when i lived in UK but i wont get much more than 300$.
P.S. previously i lived on the street, ate garbage from restaurants backyard so living under my mom shelter is best what i can ask for, but i feel useless, I would like to contrubute 50$ to my mom monthly as rent money and I can't afford that.
P.S. this post was made to fume at my government for not supporting handicapped citizens.
