Venting my fault or hers

[CigaretteAesthetics]

girlfriend left me. cheated on me right before going. right before she left she told me it was because i was "too sad" and that she missed when i was just happy. i never tried to put a burden on her but i did confide in her and go to her when i was hurting because she was the light of my life and the closest person i had.
did i fuck up? are you not supposed to go to a girl when you're sad? she said she was always going to be by my side but the moment i actually needed her she left

 

[sayire]

as your gf was not the reason for you to be sad, I will go with its not yours or gf's fault as everyone has right to their peace and happiness. sure your so should be there when needed but as I am not sure the weight of your sadness, maybe it was beyond what she can handle? if she could handle it easily and just did not want to then she was just overly selfish and it is partly her fault. if that was the case you are better off without her in the long run anyways. and lastly her cheating was not ok.

 

[worstOFsociety]

I don't think it's necessarily as black and white as it's yours or her fault. Now I don't know anything about your relationship with her and she's definitely in the wrong for cheating. But it's important in relationships to understand where the limit is when it comes to venting cause it can very easily turn into a toxic hellhole for both or one of the people in the relationship. It's important to be open and be able to communicate in relationships but it's also important to understand the other persons limits. Maybe it just became too much for her? Or maybe she just lost feelings?. Regardless she should've talked to you about it if it was the case rather than cheating. But it isn't your fault either sometimes things just don't workout but playing the blaming game is just gonna bring you down.

 

[sayire]

playing the blaming game is just gonna bring you down.

 

[angel31]

Its noones fault... Its not ur fault that u are sad and going to her is a completely valid thing. Its not her fault, bc well if it didnt work it didnt work u know what I mean? She probably could have tried to tell u before, but...
Well anyway somtimes it just doesnt work out ig... I hope ull feel better soon and get over it... Wishing u the best <3

 

[trustissues]

You absolutely did not fuck up by going to your girlfriend when you were feeling sad. One of the most important parts of having a healthy relationship is the ability to confide in and seek support from your partner. It is so important being there for each other not only during the good but the hard times too. Perhaps your gf was unable to handle the emotional responsibility, it's hard to be there for other people when you aren't content within yourself. Remember that her choices do not determine your worth. You are deserving of love and comfort when you seek it. It may hurt like hell now but this experience is an opportunity for growth within yourself and taking you one step closer to finding someone who can truly be there for you in the way you deserve. Allow yourself to feel those feelings. Take things one day at a time and give yourself the space, time, and a little extra love to heal. You're human.

 

[SexyIncél]

girlfriend left me. cheated on me right before going. right before she left she told me it was because i was "too sad" and that she missed when i was just happy. i never tried to put a burden on her but i did confide in her and go to her when i was hurting because she was the light of my life and the closest person i had.
did i fuck up? are you not supposed to go to a girl when you're sad? she said she was always going to be by my side but the moment i actually needed her she left

Unless you've left out something crucial like abusing or cheating on her... Well based on your description, she seems an obvious piece of shit. Low quality girl. Cheated on you right before going? Wonderful way to treat someone who's "too sad"! Turn most anyone suicidal...

I too could treat people that way, but currently don't feel like being a piece of shit. Maybe it's the weather

If I must end a relationship, I nevertheless have some responsibility to care about the feelings of someone I promised to "always be by their side". Like, I should literally help them replace me. So... forgive me for being so bold, but fuck that asshole

are you not supposed to go to a girl when you're sad?

afaict, often not. Most people can't handle sadness, after a certain limited amount. People who can, seem relatively rare. Tread carefully, see what they can handle. Try to rotate friends, so each carries your weight only briefly

I don't know if you've had a job, but a "relationship" is often best seen as very similar to a job. It's a social structure, that must be built and function in a rough environment. It usually has to operate in the interests of its cofounders. So if your partner's a status-seeking hag, it'd better eventually provide status

And to a low-quality person, a sad cofounder's a red flag

 

[Nephis]

girlfriend left me. cheated on me right before going. right before she left she told me it was because i was "too sad" and that she missed when i was just happy. i never tried to put a burden on her but i did confide in her and go to her when i was hurting because she was the light of my life and the closest person i had.
did i fuck up? are you not supposed to go to a girl when you're sad? she said she was always going to be by my side but the moment i actually needed her she left

Cruelty, irony, and pain; do not fret, you are strong and beautiful, you cry, worry, and feel empathy; you are human, I hope for comforting winds to take you to peace and happiness in either the shores or the grass that touches the world.

~I hope for you, peace