My experience with jumping

[partymonster]

In July 2020 I tried to commit suicide by jumping off a tall building, not knowing by then that it was not tall enough. I was 19 just a month before my birthday, by that point I ran out o resources not only suicide resources all types of resources from therapy to medication to sleeping for 3 days with benzos trying to numb the pain. Back then I didn't knew how complicate it is to actually kill yourself I didn't knew websites like this or anything close.

First I tried the classic full hanging a least 3 times couldn't pass out, I thought of cutting my wrists but I couldn't do it, I tried to overdose with benzos ( I know now that it's completely impossible). Then i went to highway in the middle of the night jump and front of a car but somehow the car manage to turn the other way I got just some bruises.

Then other day after being completely desperate and feed up with Benzos I went to a building and just jump I was so out before I hit the ground I didn't feel any pain at all I remember my last thought "I won't get better just do it"
Then everything just went black I felt peace for the first time in years. Until I wake up in a hospital bed. One of my legs was broken and one of my ankles too.

This pass year was awful, all the plans that I work hard for 3 years went to shit. I don't have the energy to start all over again. I want a peaceful way out. I'm trying to get sn but it's been hard to get here even tho I live in third word country. So back to trying to jump obviously on a taller building with benzos I know exactly how it's gonna feel so I am not scared I want to do it by January. I'm just tired I really tried to live to give myself a second chance but I can't. I don't even cry anymore these years drain me. There's not life inside of me anymore.

Sorry if I makes some mistakes, English it's not my first language. Thanks if you read. Have a great day or night wherever you are.

 

[FuneralCry]

That must had been awful, I find it terrifying how trying to die can go wrong, it's so cruel to me how we cannot just have the option to easily cease existing in peace. But anyway I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for, I understand why you'd feel so tired of suffering in this existence.

 

[Lookoutbelow]

As a jumper I thank you for this post. It is good to hear that you felt at peace and that you felt no pain on impact. My jump date is coming up soon. I've visualized it a million times. I'm pretty at peace with it. Thanks again and good luck with your future attempt.

 

[xxAbigailxx]

As a jumper I thank you for this post. It is good to hear that you felt at peace and that you felt no pain on impact. My jump date is coming up soon. I've visualized it a million times. I'm pretty at peace with it. Thanks again and good luck with your future attempt.

good luck <3

 

[Lookoutbelow]

good luck <3

Thanks, I'm pretty confident in it.

 

[partymonster]

That must had been awful, I find it terrifying how trying to die can go wrong, it's so cruel to me how we cannot just have the option to easily cease existing in peace. But anyway I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for, I understand why you'd feel so tired of suffering in this existence.

Thank you for your reply and the well wishes, i really appreciate.

As a jumper I thank you for this post. It is good to hear that you felt at peace and that you felt no pain on impact. My jump date is coming up soon. I've visualized it a million times. I'm pretty at peace with it. Thanks again and good luck with your future attempt.

im happy you found it helpful, thanks. good luck to you too. I really appreciate the reply.

 

[Smelly_ballz]

Did you pass out while falling? I've heard that some people do

 

[partymonster]

Did you pass out while falling? I've heard that some people do

Yeah. That's Exactly what happened it's like your mind knows the pains that's gonna go through and just shut down before you hit the ground

 

[Gonnerr]

Good luck , i hope you are able to set yourself free of this world, you deserve it.

 

[Ontwon]

In July 2020 I tried to commit suicide by jumping off a tall building, not knowing by then that it was not tall enough. I was 19 just a month before my birthday, by that point I ran out o resources not only suicide resources all types of resources from therapy to medication to sleeping for 3 days with benzos trying to numb the pain. Back then I didn't knew how complicate it is to actually kill yourself I didn't knew websites like this or anything close.

First I tried the classic full hanging a least 3 times couldn't pass out, I thought of cutting my wrists but I couldn't do it, I tried to overdose with benzos ( I know now that it's completely impossible). Then i went to highway in the middle of the night jump and front of a car but somehow the car manage to turn the other way I got just some bruises.

Then other day after being completely desperate and feed up with Benzos I went to a building and just jump I was so out before I hit the ground I didn't feel any pain at all I remember my last thought "I won't get better just do it"
Then everything just went black I felt peace for the first time in years. Until I wake up in a hospital bed. One of my legs was broken and one of my ankles too.

This pass year was awful, all the plans that I work hard for 3 years went to shit. I don't have the energy to start all over again. I want a peaceful way out. I'm trying to get sn but it's been hard to get here even tho I live in third word country. So back to trying to jump obviously on a taller building with benzos I know exactly how it's gonna feel so I am not scared I want to do it by January. I'm just tired I really tried to live to give myself a second chance but I can't. I don't even cry anymore these years drain me. There's not life inside of me anymore.

Sorry if I makes some mistakes, English it's not my first language. Thanks if you read. Have a great day or night wherever you are.

You're extremely brave to make these attempts, I haven't been able to overcome SI more than once and it was a pretty feeble attempt. Or maybe it speaks more to the pain you're in, probably both. I wish you peace and courage to take the peace you deserve

 

[partymonster]

Good luck , i hope you are able to set yourself free of this world, you deserve it.

Thank you, much love to you.

You're extremely brave to make these attempts, I haven't been able to overcome SI more than once and it was a pretty feeble attempt. Or maybe it speaks more to the pain you're in, probably both. I wish you peace and courage to take the peace you deserve

thanks, yeah I'm going through a lot I really loved you reply

 

[hellispink]

How many floors were they?

 

[Little_Suzy]

You're like a cat with many, many, many lives.

 

[partymonster]

How many floors were they?

Like 8 floors I think so

You're like a cat with many, many, many lives.

haha I guess so. Thanks this makes me laugh

 

[Lookoutbelow]

Yeah. That's Exactly what happened it's like your mind knows the pains that's gonna go through and just shut down before you hit the ground

Very informative, thanks!