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SchrodingerIsDed
Strength fades; Trust Shatters in Shadows of Fear.
- Feb 17, 2025
- 213
She got me. Pulled on my heartstrings, talking about how desperate she is. I admit that I've also been desperate for human companionship. She told me that she loves my long black hair and she misses my smell. Maybe she just needed a place to crash. It's been 7 years since I've even talked to her. Now we're going to be sleeping in the room next to each other. I've been renting a two bedroom on the top floor of a high rise. It was cheap, probably around the same cost as the standard rent, so don't worry I'm not all that fancy. My home office is now going to be her bedroom. She's unemployed right now. So she's probably just using me. But I guess I don't care if someone uses me right now. Maybe I'll use her, too. We can use each other.
But this severely complicates my ctb arrangements. And I can't be driving her all around town for interviews. My work doesn't have a set schedule, so that's nice, but even so. I don't know. It's both the best thing and the worst thing that's happened to me. I'm not sure how to feel about this....But that's adjusted my plans. I don't want her to find my body. She's been through a lot herself. She's a cutter, too... And since she's unemployed she'll be at the apartment all day long. My privacy is gone, but my loneliness might be alleviated.
Still. This resulted in my new plan being to go out into the woods and use sn + shooting myself in the heart. Cyanosis will appear to be from blood loss, and they probably won't even suspect sn was added on top. That will spare her.
I admit my imagination is going a bit wild, and....certain....cravings have brought themselves to the surface...
But this severely complicates my ctb arrangements. And I can't be driving her all around town for interviews. My work doesn't have a set schedule, so that's nice, but even so. I don't know. It's both the best thing and the worst thing that's happened to me. I'm not sure how to feel about this....But that's adjusted my plans. I don't want her to find my body. She's been through a lot herself. She's a cutter, too... And since she's unemployed she'll be at the apartment all day long. My privacy is gone, but my loneliness might be alleviated.
Still. This resulted in my new plan being to go out into the woods and use sn + shooting myself in the heart. Cyanosis will appear to be from blood loss, and they probably won't even suspect sn was added on top. That will spare her.
I admit my imagination is going a bit wild, and....certain....cravings have brought themselves to the surface...