Venting My ex boyfriend who has been leading me on just ghosted me

[nico_wren]

We broke up three months ago. About a week into our no contact, he said he wanted to try being friends again, and then it escalated quickly. He said since his family and friends dislike me we should take it slow and be on the low about it, which I agreed. We would do everything together. Today (technically yesterday) everything was fine. The day prior he came over, and tomorrow he was supposed to come after a doctor's visit and spend the night. However, about three hours after our last text, I texted him back saying I'd be off work shortly. For two hours, nothing. I thought I was just paranoid, but then I checked social media, and I was blocked. I tried calling, nothing. The last thing he didn't block me on, snapchat, I just asked for any type of closure and I would never speak to him again. I just wanted to know what i did wrong and if I upset him. He then blocked me on there. We haven't fought since we "got back together" and he's been a little depressed, but he said that I'm the only thing making him feel happier right now. I just don't understand. I feel like this was so out of left field, especially with our plans; not only for tomorrow, but we have concert tickets and everything. Blocking me without a single word? I just don't understand it... I feel so led on and betrayed by this. I told everyone who made advances on me that I was in a relationship, per his request, and shut myself off from most other guys. Why would he do that if he didn't want a relationship in the first place? If he did and suddenly changed his mind, how can it change so easily? If he just talked to a friend or family member and immediately decided that I was horrible, I think that's sort of childish. Idk, I'm just so hurt and I had to vent..

 

[The anhedonic one]

Sorry, but it sounds like a toxic situation. Blocking you and no contact is a form of abuse.
I had a so-called friend who had borderline personality disorder do this to me and it is confusing and hurtful.
You deserve much better treatment than this.

 

[nyee]

you poor thing. Being blind-sided by people suddenly disappearing especially if they are the ones to suddenly turn their back on you is such a terrifying experience. The worst part about it is that there is no closure and there never may be, you might never find out why it happened.

I hope you are able to move on freely. He obviously was not worth your time and effort if he ghosted you this easily. Rather than dwelling on what has happened and why, I hope you look forward instead and find somebody that will treat you respectfully. Think of it as a blessing that it happened earlier into the relationship and that he walked himself out the door.

 

[SexyIncél]

I'm sorry to hear about this hurt. If you don't mind, I looked through your earlier posts to learn more about your breakup. Did he feel aggrieved, betrayed, lacked control? Was he abusive, spiteful, self-centered?

One possibility is he was "monkeybranching": using you as a bandaid until he could find a replacement. Might've been his plan since the first breakup week

Problem with breakups: it becomes everyone for themselves. The person breaking up is rarely generous. Often, at least one imagines themself a winner/loser

Anyway, if you'd like to talk or vent, feel free to message me

 

[VerbalWinter]

whatever you do, don't let that person back into your life. if they can just completely abandon you like that, no explanation or anything, they would do it again in a heartbeat if they find someone they consider better than you, or if they are having a bad day because deep down this person probably doesn't give a fuck about you, really. why would a person who really genuinely cares about you as a human being, just ghost you out of nowhere like that?

and I know that hurts because I've been through the same thing. I just hope you can move past this, not get consumed by the pain you feel, but instead use that hurt to propel you forward. I wish the best for you, seriously.

 

[nico_wren]

We broke up three months ago. About a week into our no contact, he said he wanted to try being friends again, and then it escalated quickly. He said since his family and friends dislike me we should take it slow and be on the low about it, which I agreed. We would do everything together. Today (technically yesterday) everything was fine. The day prior he came over, and tomorrow he was supposed to come after a doctor's visit and spend the night. However, about three hours after our last text, I texted him back saying I'd be off work shortly. For two hours, nothing. I thought I was just paranoid, but then I checked social media, and I was blocked. I tried calling, nothing. The last thing he didn't block me on, snapchat, I just asked for any type of closure and I would never speak to him again. I just wanted to know what i did wrong and if I upset him. He then blocked me on there. We haven't fought since we "got back together" and he's been a little depressed, but he said that I'm the only thing making him feel happier right now. I just don't understand. I feel like this was so out of left field, especially with our plans; not only for tomorrow, but we have concert tickets and everything. Blocking me without a single word? I just don't understand it... I feel so led on and betrayed by this. I told everyone who made advances on me that I was in a relationship, per his request, and shut myself off from most other guys. Why would he do that if he didn't want a relationship in the first place? If he did and suddenly changed his mind, how can it change so easily? If he just talked to a friend or family member and immediately decided that I was horrible, I think that's sort of childish. Idk, I'm just so hurt and I had to vent..

Just found out that his family and friends had an "intervention" and told him he had to stop seeing me or they'd stop being his friends and make him go to a psych ward. I literally have done nothing bad enough to warrant this and I just don't understand why they hate me so much..

 

[CTB Dream]

Vry sry, this awfl ppl awfl species sdn no talk etc this v awfl abuse vry sry know how hug, this v cruel ppl thnk othre tool rplc etc no think how prsn feel no think how prsn sffr, rly cruel ppl cruel species all make sffr makevharm

 

[SexyIncél]

Just found out that his family and friends had an "intervention" and told him he had to stop seeing me or they'd stop being his friends and make him go to a psych ward. I literally have done nothing bad enough to warrant this and I just don't understand why they hate me so much..

Ouch! Ok, at least he did care for you, and it took the combined pressure & violence of his social circle. ("Violence" because armed agents of the state would assault him to drag him into a psych ward, if he refused their demands)

If you think he deserves it (despite admittedly capitulating), hopefully you can somehow communicate to him something beautiful... that you understand they were brutal to him and perhaps he even tried fighting them off

It might help to know what was in their minds. Presumably he was suicidal; and he has conservative family/friends?

 

[MrDarkness]

He clearly wanted to hurt you, I hope you find someone better, it's not your fault. I hope you can find someone who loves you for who you are