Venting My dreamjob is burning me out

[вечный сон]

Here's another Vent from someone that is completely isolated so his only chance to be heard is to chat with complete strangers on a suicide forum:

I've been thuggin it out on my new job for 6-7 months now. Objectivaly it's the easiest and best payed job i've ever had. I was really lucky to get it. I tried atleast 15 Jobs and always quit after like a month.

All i'm doing is driving around at night, closing facilities and making Inspection tours. I walk alot which is good. I'm on my own, can drive on almost empty Streets and listen to Youtube Videos or music the whole time.

I learned in previous Jobs, that if i have to work with coleagues i won't make it past a month, that's why i've made it so long at this job. I only have to interact with humans for like 5 minutes all interactions combined and i know it sounds crazy, but even those 5 minutes are too much for me.

I don't like to be forced to interact with people. I don't like that they get to know me and that they can see my sad ugly face. I try my best but people just don't like me. It makes me want to hide and be in the dark so no one get's to have a Look at the mess i am.

I's not only the social Situation that's draining, but especially the days and hours before it happens.

Atleast i know that in april next year i will quit and travel Europa for a year on my bike. If i didn't have a reason to save money so i can travel, there would be no way that i'd work a job. I'd rather be unemployed an broke but atleast not emotionally drained every day.

Even mentally healthy people struggle working a full time job, how am i supposed to do it with mental illnesses on top?

I sometimes think about trying some Heroin before work, to not be so stressed since it apparently makes you more social and talkative but i know that would only work for a short time until it doesn't and i'm even worse off than now.

I tried Zyprexa before and it helped with my social anxiety, but i gained almost 50kg, had Liver problems and severe suicidal thoughts. Atleast Heroin is Kind of a natural substance compared to psych drugs. I heard that clean heroin isn't even toxic to the body and you could potentionally live to 100 years while being on it. Street H is always dirty, but 100% heroin from a lab is not toxic.

Do you work? How are you Holding up and do you self medicate?

 

[Green Destiny]

I've worked the same part time job at a thrift shop for 12 years now and it's only gotten progressively worse. Majority of the people I work with are morons with no common sense, I deal with people trying to get rid of their trashy furniture and my body is starting to hurt from all the manual labor. Maybe where I work is the exception but if anyone here is looking for a job and you get offered a position as a dock worker for a thrift shop don't do it, it's not worth whatever the pay offers.

Your job actually sounds quite nice, barely dealing with any people and getting to drive around deserted streets is a great alternative to busy roads and annoying people.