Venting My date

[BPD Barbie]

So, today was supposed to be my original ctb date, not just me but @6ixxy was going to be joining me as well. We were ctb partners, had everything planned. Now today, it's just me left and the day is almost over and I'm still here. Don't really know how to feel about it. Hadn't really been thinking about the date, it just crept up on me out of nowhere. I still don't want to be here, I still want to ctb, there isn't anything left really. Sorry to vent, just feeling strange.

 

[Backwood_tilt]

Vent away.

You've been through a lot...can't imagine what you are going through now. It's okay to feel numb or confused about your feelings, too. It might take some time to sort out.

 

[BPD Barbie]

I'd like to add I'm not mad at him for going, I was with him right up to the end, not in person but on whatsapp. My last message that he saw was 'put your head on my shoulder and just go to sleep'. I wonder if things would have been different if he had stayed here.

 

[reapandsow918]

Leave only when you are ready. No other influences should cause you to feel different. Only you know when it's your time.

 

[SinisterKid]

Yeah, I miss my little mackem buddy as well. I was really hoping to share a pint or two with him this year. I know I am probably old enough to be his grandad, but that did not stop us sharing a joke or two. He was a good kid, I liked him and I cant say that about many mackems!

 

[LegaliseIt!]

Yeah, I miss my little mackem buddy as well. I was really hoping to share a pint or two with him this year. I know I am probably old enough to be his grandad, but that did not stop us sharing a joke or two. He was a good kid, I liked him and I cant say that about many mackems!

I was his online Nan. Same thing. Without the pints;)

 

[Fiadh]

Everyone has their own time, don't be harsh on yourself for wanting to delay things or not doing it at all. You have all the time in the world to think things over and then decide what you want to do.

 

[George81]

So, today was supposed to be my original ctb date, not just me but @6ixxy was going to be joining me as well. We were ctb partners, had everything planned. Now today, it's just me left and the day is almost over and I'm still here. Don't really know how to feel about it. Hadn't really been thinking about the date, it just crept up on me out of nowhere. I still don't want to be here, I still want to ctb, there isn't anything left really. Sorry to vent, just feeling strange.

It's so hard , it's like teetering at the edge of a cliff and getting closer and closer to dropping off the edge but not quite there yet. It's like half and half, so ready and motivated one minute but the next it's not so strong. I guess it's like holdign out for one last bit of hope that things might get better but then knowing they actually won't. Sending hugs x

 

[Girobatol]

Setting a date is difficult. Everytime I want to ctb somthing family related appears, like my aunts death, then holidays and so on. But one of these days ill drink my N, when I on my lowest.

 

[TAW122]

I'm sorry to hear that things fell through. As for the future, take your time and think about your choices and plans before you come to any decision. I hope you find the peace that you are longing for.

 

[nsaidsmil]

As others have said, nothing wrong with letting feelings out. Vent all you need, do as you need. One moment at a time. Consider now a time of refocus and careful reflection. The decisions we make are ours. Around if you'd like to talk, or anything else. Take care of yourself, dear. Wishing the best.

 

[Broken Chimera]

No problem with venting. And take your time with ctb. You can always make another date, but there's no coming back once you do it.

 

[Innereye]

I honestly don't like the idea of planning dates for it. It puts an extra layer of pressure on you to go through with it when you may not be ready. Take your time