Venting My dad is addicted to video games

[Kimmi.rikudotnet]

It's terrifying to say the least, i can't move out, money is tight. I can't leave him alone. But when he is screaming, crying and swearing over a video game, it's hard to stay sane. I feel so angry, i wanna trow something, i also want to scream. Every night i blast music into my ears because of how loud he is and how much he screams. I think my ears are damaged by now. I notice my hearing got worse and i seem to start blending his voive out automatically even when he is speaking to me normaly. last week my therapist invited him in to talk about this, as we live together. I voiced my issues, and my concern and he got mad. he said how disapointed he is in me, how he is shocked that i would lie about him. Then he revealed many embarassing things to my therapist to get back at me. this week my therapist praised me for my self control, how well i kept my cool but still voiced what i wanted to voice. But my self control is barely kept together, i dont think i can keep it together. I dont kmow what i will do once it snaps.

The best days are the ones were he sleeps at his girlfriends house. She swears he would never get mad. But other than that shes a great woman and i value her sososososo much. The best weekends are the ones he spends at his girlfriends house entirely. Then there are the ones where my 13 year old brother visits, when he was 10 he told me that he blames himself for my dads addiction because he thinks he started this somehow. I told my dad this last week and he said "well that was 3 years ago, whatever, cant be that up to date."
Now my brother just sits next to him as he almost completely rages and there is nothing we can do. Maybe this saturday i'll take him to my favorite kiosk to pass some time even if it'llbe just for 10 minutes. But i dont know how long i can do this anymore. I know there is so much i whine about, so many problems that it almost seems unreal.But hearing my dad cry over a video game thorugh my music feels like a scene from a movie, a movie i want to desperately turn off.

I'm a naturally scared person, I feel so weak for how bad this is. Ik the whole "guys cant feel, feelings are weak, men strong!!!'' stuff isn't true but I cant help but feel weak for feeling so scared and wrecked.

 

[Worndown]

He needs help. It will not be easy getting that to happen. We all have emotions but we need to balance them in order to exist.
You are here so you have your own issues to work. If needed, focus on you. You might not be able to effect positive change in his life.

 

[four_walls_girl]

This genuinely sucks, you don't deserve any of this. All I want to give is useless suggestions like, trying to record his behaviour while playing and showing that to your therapist, or even just him, but I know you're probably scared at how he'll react to that or facing consequences for his actions.

Your brother sounds sweet, taking him for little trips out probably helps a lot more than you realise.

 

[lebrodude]

Sorry you are having to deal with this. That's lot for you to have to deal with.

I'll give you this tip though.
Blasting music into your ears, I'd stop that.

You can end up with tinnitus due to that. I've ended up with tinnitus due to that and is the main cause of my suicidal ideation.

Headphones can really fuck your ears up.

 

[Kimmi.rikudotnet]

Sorry you are having to deal with this. That's lot for you to have to deal with.

I'll give you this tip though.
Blasting music into your ears, I'd stop that.

You can end up with tinnitus due to that. I've ended up with tinnitus due to that and is the main cause of my suicidal ideation.

Headphones can really fuck your ears up.

I think I already have that, and I really tried to reduce that by not using headphones and just blasting music without them and sealing my doors and windows better, but thanks for the advice

This genuinely sucks, you don't deserve any of this. All I want to give is useless suggestions like, trying to record his behaviour while playing and showing that to your therapist, or even just him, but I know you're probably scared at how he'll react to that or facing consequences for his actions.

Your brother sounds sweet, taking him for little trips out probably helps a lot more than you realise.

Thank u! I am trying to find the right moment to record and I def do what I can with my brother. He only comes every second weekend so it's easier to keep him away from those situations !

This genuinely sucks, you don't deserve any of this. All I want to give is useless suggestions like, trying to record his behaviour while playing and showing that to your therapist, or even just him, but I know you're probably scared at how he'll react to that or facing consequences for his actions.

Your brother sounds sweet, taking him for little trips out probably helps a lot more than you realise.

Thank u! I am trying to find the right moment to record and I def do what I can with my brother. He only comes every second weekend so it's easier to keep him away from those situations !

He needs help. It will not be easy getting that to happen. We all have emotions but we need to balance them in order to exist.
You are here so you have your own issues to work. If needed, focus on you. You might not be able to effect positive change in his life.

Yeah, I told him, cps was involved too when I was a kid (yes it happened back then too) and he still didn't get it. I told him last week and he said "no I don't need help." But maybe one day he realises!