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DemonicAngel
Another brick in the wall.
- Jan 21, 2021
- 78
I haven't been a member very long but I do really love it here. I feel completely comfortable here, definitely more comfortable than with my own therapist. I learned a long time ago that when they tell you that you can tell them anything that's a crock of shit. It it About ten years ago I told my therapist that I was feeling suicidal and the men in the nice white coats came and took me away. In total I've been in the psych ward six times. Some for actual suicide attempts others were just being suicidal. I can say with 100% truth I hate psych wards, they make me more miserable than I was to start with. Anyways I'm 32 and also about ten years ago the love of my life left me. Since then I haven't been able to make relationships work. I'm pretty sure I'm going to spend the rest of my life alone, if I live that is. I've been on disability since I was 16. I can't work due to mental health issues and I have screws in my spine. In other words I don't make a lot of money. My mom is on disability too, so I live with her. My big brother is my best friend well really my only friend. He lives here too. My mom is an alcoholic, she is emotionally and mentally abusive. I live in fear all the time. I can hardly eat or sleep. I'm on lists for low income housing but they said it could take a year or two. My brother is moving to another state soon to be with his girlfriend. He says I can come but I know I can't. It may sound stupid but I think I I'd rather not have him in my life at all than to share him all the time. Our time together is so special to me and knowing I'll never have it again is devastating. I have no good solution except to CTB. Ill be miserable moving there, I'll be miserable o my own, and I am definitely miserable here. I have my SN but every time I plan on doing it I picture my brother being heartbroken and my cat would have no one. I'm so lost and confused. I feel helpless . Anyone interested in talking? I could use a friend.
Real quick a few things about me: 32 F USA I love Marvel, DC, Star Wars, Supernatural, Creative Writing, Cats
*Melyssa*
Real quick a few things about me: 32 F USA I love Marvel, DC, Star Wars, Supernatural, Creative Writing, Cats
*Melyssa*