Help My current plan

[Cynacs]

I've done it, put in an order for SN. I bought it on amazon (which hopefully I did correct). I may get a PO box and deliver it there or have UPS hold it, which I would do to try to hide it better.

I plan on taking the SN w/ water at night, then going to sleep asap. I can't get my hands on anti-emetics and this is my first thought of what to do. Also, doing it at night would give it plenty of time, but if I throw up I would likely be found. Maybe I do this outside where no one will hear? Maybe I lie and say I am spending a night with a friend (hard to pull off, I have no friends)?

On the other hand I've also contacted my therapist, just incase I don't end up going through with this plan.

Living how I am currently living is not an option, I've done a lot of things wrong. Either I get better, or I end it. Those are the options I am giving myself. I feel like this is a good way of dealing with these types of situations. Giving yourself an ultimatum, none of them being how you're currently living.

Any suggestions are welcomed!

 

[LiuKang]

I've done it, put in an order for SN. I bought it on amazon (which hopefully I did correct). I may get a PO box and deliver it there or have UPS hold it, which I would do to try to hide it better.

I plan on taking the SN w/ water at night, then going to sleep asap. I can't get my hands on anti-emetics and this is my first thought of what to do. Also, doing it at night would give it plenty of time, but if I throw up I would likely be found. Maybe I do this outside where no one will hear? Maybe I lie and say I am spending a night with a friend (hard to pull off, I have no friends)?

On the other hand I've also contacted my therapist, just incase I don't end up going through with this plan.

Living how I am currently living is not an option, I've done a lot of things wrong. Either I get better, or I end it. Those are the options I am giving myself. I feel like this is a good way of dealing with these types of situations. Giving yourself an ultimatum, none of them being how you're currently living.

Any suggestions are welcomed!

Good luck

 

[lebrodude]

Personally I think you should explore every option before you take the final one, so it's good you've contacted your therapist.

As for the SN there's plenty documented information on regimens on here should you go down that road. Only real advice to give is plan to the last detail, don't act impulsively, there are many anecdotes of that in here where it didn't work as a result.

 

[ladylazarus4]

I've done it, put in an order for SN. I bought it on amazon (which hopefully I did correct). I may get a PO box and deliver it there or have UPS hold it, which I would do to try to hide it better.

I plan on taking the SN w/ water at night, then going to sleep asap. I can't get my hands on anti-emetics and this is my first thought of what to do. Also, doing it at night would give it plenty of time, but if I throw up I would likely be found. Maybe I do this outside where no one will hear? Maybe I lie and say I am spending a night with a friend (hard to pull off, I have no friends)?

On the other hand I've also contacted my therapist, just incase I don't end up going through with this plan.

Living how I am currently living is not an option, I've done a lot of things wrong. Either I get better, or I end it. Those are the options I am giving myself. I feel like this is a good way of dealing with these types of situations. Giving yourself an ultimatum, none of them being how you're currently living.

Any suggestions are welcomed!

I recommend that you test your SN with the aquarium strip test that you can find on here, because I'm 99.9% sure there's no way to get SN on amazon. It's almost certainly a scam. I'm sorry you're suffering so much.

 

[Cynacs]

Personally I think you should explore every option before you take the final one, so it's good you've contacted your therapist.

As for the SN there's plenty documented information on regimens on here should you go down that road. Only real advice to give is plan to the last detail, don't act impulsively, there are many anecdotes of that in here where it didn't work as a result.

In terms of exploring every option. I've gone to a great therapist in the past, I was doing amazing. Left therapy, got much worse. It feels like I have no one (my fault likely), so I am left to learn through mistakes and end up hurting people. I want to end this cycle.

On doing things right, you're right. I've cancelled the order and will re-ship it to a more secure spot.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I recommend that you test your SN with the aquarium strip test that you can find on here, because I'm 99.9% sure there's no way to get SN on amazon. It's almost certainly a scam. I'm sorry you're suffering so much.

This^

As far as I know, any SN found on Amazon is going to have too low a purity percentage of SN to CTB with. You need >95% purity SN. The crap Amazon sells now is only 6% to 7%. It won't work.

 

[Cynacs]

I recommend that you test your SN with the aquarium strip test that you can find on here, because I'm 99.9% sure there's no way to get SN on amazon. It's almost certainly a scam. I'm sorry you're suffering so much.

That's disappointing, but afaik SN isn't regulated so it seemed legit at first. I had seen people use strips of some kind. Guess I will have to grab some aquarium strips. Thank you for the advice!

This^

As far as I know, any SN found on Amazon is going to have too low a purity percentage of SN to CTB with. You need >95% purity SN. The crap Amazon sells now is only 6% to 7%. It won't work.

I had noticed that the ones selling about 6% to 7% were for preservation. I made a business account and some of the stuff it let me order claimed high-purity, but who knows.