Discussion My CTB consideration

[ManWithNoName]

One thing I'm considering is whether or not to carry out ctb where I can be found and be identified (assuring closer) or cbt in the middle of nowhere, without any identification, thus eventually being declared dead in absentia.

There is an older couple who have befriended me and helped me in the past. Both their children have passed. Their daughter ctb just two years ago. Their other child passed away from cancer several years ago. I'm in the same age range their children were.

Though my cbt is my right, my decision, there is a part of me that senses that my self deliverance could represent a slap in their faces. These are good people, and I do not want to hurt them.

If I ctb without ID and cannot be found, they could have that "He's alive ok somewhere" perspective—or not since those who disappear are, in time (7 years I think) written off are assumed to be dead.

I've been contending with this issue for some time now.

Any thoughts?

 

[Fragile]

this is a very complicated position to be in, there is no real way of telling what would be better for them.

i'd say that getting closure is better than never knowing what really happened, most people don't think that someone is alive after they go missing, they just think about what happened, some just live in denial while thinking about every horrible thing that could have happened to the missing person. in a way it's easier to move on from a suicide, at least you know what happened and the reasons since most people leave a letter behind, but if you just vanish from their lives, there is no closure.

but in the end there is no way of knowing, every person is different and they deal with loss in different ways.

 

[EmptyArms]

I think this is an unavoidable consequence of CTB. People will be hurt and grieve for the loss of you, and that's painful for them, and also for the person CTB. I cant think of a way of circumventing the reality of that. We have to decide if we are willing to accept the consequences of our actions in death, just as we must in life. It's a tough one. Whenever I'm conflicted I try to remember to ask myself, is it kind, is it necessary? I dont always like my own effing answer tbh. I dont think my son would survive my CBT, he's already in hell. If he survived , and he's my son so it's more important to me that anything that he does, his life would be worse. So for me..is it kind? Hell no. Is it necessary. I guess it wont have to be. I don't know if there's anything in this to help you, but there's my process.
As an aside my friend's teenaged daughter went missing a year after my own daughter died. My friend was beside herself, tormented by the not knowing her daughter's fate. Eventually after weeks had passed her body was found in a river. My friend was relieved and almost elated to at least know and to have her remains and have a funeral.
I'm thinking of you now as you struggle with these dilemmas and the terrible suffering that must have brought you to this point. Xx

 

[ManWithNoName]

I think this is an unavoidable consequence of CTB. People will be hurt and grieve for the loss of you, and that's painful for them, and also for the person CTB. I cant think of a way of circumventing the reality of that. We have to decide if we are willing to accept the consequences of our actions in death, just as we must in life. It's a tough one. Whenever I'm conflicted I try to remember to ask myself, is it kind, is it necessary? I dont always like my own effing answer tbh. I dont think my son would survive my CBT, he's already in hell. If he survived , and he's my son so it's more important to me that anything that he does, his life would be worse. So for me..is it kind? Hell no. Is it necessary. I guess it wont have to be. I don't know if there's anything in this to help you, but there's my process.
As an aside my friend's teenaged daughter went missing a year after my own daughter died. My friend was beside herself, tormented by the not knowing her daughter's fate. Eventually after weeks had passed her body was found in a river. My friend was relieved and almost elated to at least know and to have her remains and have a funeral.
I'm thinking of you now as you struggle with these dilemmas and the terrible suffering that must have brought you to this point. Xx

I hear ya—and thanks.