vipatherappa
Student
- Feb 28, 2023
- 35
Hey everyone,
Little story for you. So my university-assigned mental health counselor invited me to a wellbeing and creativity session today. It's not something I would usually go to, because I'm not a creative person and I am deeply socially avoidant, but since I was invited and the last meeting we had together went well, I decided to go. Once I got there things were kinda awkward, as they usually get with me, but I tried to push through it. After everyone introduced ourselves (my introduction was a bit cringey of course, but it went better than I expected), and when the activities started I didn't really know what to do. I decided to start making collages, since my counselor showed us examples.
I started doing them and everyone was settling in, and my counselor tried to get me to talk and involve me in conversations. I was feeling pretty stressed out by this point, since I have social anxiety, and I was coming up with awkward responses, but I was having a bit of fun making my collage so I thought everything was gonna be good. Then it turns out I was accidentally cutting out a page off of one of her "precious books" (a collection of works and poetry by Marc Chagall) which she didn't tell us not to use for our collages... I was really apologetic about it and she seemed to not mind that much but I felt really guilty so I decided to leave and just stomp around wherever, which I tend to do when I get anxious. I ended up walking about 4 km in total, and I was away for about an hour in the rain. By the time I got back, the session had already ended 30 mins ago. I felt so much shame about it and about the fact that I wasn't going to be able to do all the things I needed to do today, that I nearly ordered SN to ctb myself with, but I forgot my paypal details and I have to wait a while make the purchase now. I just felt really tired afterwards, and I couldn't bring myself to go to the lecture which I was already late for, or meet up with my presentation partner, or meet with my dissertation supervisor, like I was supposed to today. You know what I did? I went back to my dorm and I started cutting myself, the first time I've ever done that.
I still haven't received a word from her checking on me. Isn't that what counselors are supposed to do? Granted, I think she suffers from social anxiety herself, but as someone who is meant to look out for others struggling from mental health issues, isn't she supposed to at least ask where I went or if I was doing okay? Very odd.
She seems like a kind person so please don't insult her or give her hate even though she'll most likely never see this post. I just wanted to vent about something that was bugging me.
Thanks everyone.
also, sorry if i posted this in the wrong section. i'll do better next time
Little story for you. So my university-assigned mental health counselor invited me to a wellbeing and creativity session today. It's not something I would usually go to, because I'm not a creative person and I am deeply socially avoidant, but since I was invited and the last meeting we had together went well, I decided to go. Once I got there things were kinda awkward, as they usually get with me, but I tried to push through it. After everyone introduced ourselves (my introduction was a bit cringey of course, but it went better than I expected), and when the activities started I didn't really know what to do. I decided to start making collages, since my counselor showed us examples.
I started doing them and everyone was settling in, and my counselor tried to get me to talk and involve me in conversations. I was feeling pretty stressed out by this point, since I have social anxiety, and I was coming up with awkward responses, but I was having a bit of fun making my collage so I thought everything was gonna be good. Then it turns out I was accidentally cutting out a page off of one of her "precious books" (a collection of works and poetry by Marc Chagall) which she didn't tell us not to use for our collages... I was really apologetic about it and she seemed to not mind that much but I felt really guilty so I decided to leave and just stomp around wherever, which I tend to do when I get anxious. I ended up walking about 4 km in total, and I was away for about an hour in the rain. By the time I got back, the session had already ended 30 mins ago. I felt so much shame about it and about the fact that I wasn't going to be able to do all the things I needed to do today, that I nearly ordered SN to ctb myself with, but I forgot my paypal details and I have to wait a while make the purchase now. I just felt really tired afterwards, and I couldn't bring myself to go to the lecture which I was already late for, or meet up with my presentation partner, or meet with my dissertation supervisor, like I was supposed to today. You know what I did? I went back to my dorm and I started cutting myself, the first time I've ever done that.
I still haven't received a word from her checking on me. Isn't that what counselors are supposed to do? Granted, I think she suffers from social anxiety herself, but as someone who is meant to look out for others struggling from mental health issues, isn't she supposed to at least ask where I went or if I was doing okay? Very odd.
She seems like a kind person so please don't insult her or give her hate even though she'll most likely never see this post. I just wanted to vent about something that was bugging me.
Thanks everyone.
also, sorry if i posted this in the wrong section. i'll do better next time
Last edited:
