My colleague said I play like women, even though I am a man.

[Parnate]

So I went to play badminton with my office colleagues and I enjoyed it . But during the game one of my colleagues asked me to show more aggression while playing.
After the game I went to bar with another colleague for drinks. Over there he said that I was playing like a woman. I respect women but as a man ( one who has lots of internalized homophobia) this is upsetting.

 

[Valky]

What does homophobia to do with that tho?

But, I don't know what it means to play badminton "like a man" or why tf aggression needs to be involved in it.
Maybe he was trying to say that you should play more competitive?
Either way, it's an incredibly stupid thing to say from his side and shows more insecurity than anything.

 

[notreallybored]

ב''ה,
You've been misgendered.

But this is homophilia, whether sexual or not, from the other bro. You didn't give the performance of as much sweat or aggression as he wanted to rub up against in the shower or just see on the court. Also just an easy way to get chimpanzee pecking order points for his own ego

People are weird and unpleasant. Anyway, it's badminton, y'all should really have been wearing ballet shoes.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

You've been misgendered.

But this is homophilia, whether sexual or not,

First off, no. They were not misgendered. Misgendering would be something more along the lines of them using their non-preferred pronouns and referring to him as a woman. Saying something like, "You ____ like a girl/woman" isn't misgendering. They are comparing the OP's performance to that of a woman as an insult. They were using a simile. It is sexist and childish, but it's not misgendering.

Secondly, homophilia? What does this have to do with a searchable database of human diseases that were obtained from Online Mendelian Inheritance in Man and that has significant homology at the protein level to genes contained in FlyBase, the current Drosophila sequence database?

 

[Worndown]

It is possible your colleague is more competitive than you. Their problem, not yours.

 

[L'absent]

So I went to play badminton with my office colleagues and I enjoyed it . But during the game one of my colleagues asked me to show more aggression while playing.
After the game I went to bar with another colleague for drinks. Over there he said that I was playing like a woman. I respect women but as a man ( one who has lots of internalized homophobia) this is upsetting.

You're here complaining because someone questioned your masculinity in a game with a shuttlecock? If your manhood was that strong, shouldn't you not care?

ב''ה,
You've been misgendered.

But this is homophilia, whether sexual or not, from the other bro. You didn't give the performance of as much sweat or aggression as he wanted to rub up against in the shower or just see on the court. Also just an easy way to get chimpanzee pecking order points for his own ego

People are weird and unpleasant. Anyway, it's badminton, y'all should really have been wearing ballet shoes.

So according to you, the colleague was more interested in the sweat than the game? Interesting theory.

First off, no. They were not misgendered. Misgendering would be something more along the lines of them using their non-preferred pronouns and referring to him as a woman. Saying something like, "You ____ like a girl/woman" isn't misgendering. They are comparing the OP's performance to that of a woman as an insult. They were using a simile. It is sexist and childish, but it's not misgendering.

Secondly, homophilia? What does this have to do with a searchable database of human diseases that were obtained from Online Mendelian Inheritance in Man and that has significant homology at the protein level to genes contained in FlyBase, the current Drosophila sequence database?

Wait, let me take notes, I wouldn't want to mess up next time I enter a badminton tournament and find myself discussing molecular biology.

 

[Regen]

No matter what the content is about, I understand it this way: you were away with your colleagues and you had fun. But your colleagues criticize you and devalue you. I understand that this hurts and is unsettling. You might then feel somehow wrong and rejected and not belonging. Maybe they just wanted to tease you and show themselves how manly they are. If you continue to get along well with them otherwise, I wouldn't give it too much importance. But if they say more derogatory things about you, you should be vigilant and protect yourself.

 

[ShatteredSerenity]

I always hated playing sports with guys, partly because of comments like that. First, I don't care much for competitive sports and I give zero fucks about winning. Second, I find derogatory comments comparing someone to a woman to be asinine. So I just don't do sports, or hang out with men in general.

In high school I took multiple music classes to get out of gym, and guess what, all of a sudden I was surrounded by girls and I liked it a lot better. I realized girls were more collaborative and didn't make insensitive asshole comments on a regular basis. I've always made more connections with women, and eventually I joined a genderqueer group at work and realized that I fit in with that community. I don't worry about not fitting in with the guys anymore, I'm just not wired like most of them. I'm still more masculine than feminine, but I'm happy with my more feminine traits.