my cat died today. i want to be with him.

[lawlietsph]

Just the title. I noticed that he looks really sick on saturday, and we rushed to the doctors. Turned out these doctors had no idea what's wrong, they gave us a bunch of medicine and asked for lots and lots of money for it.
I came home and chatgpt found out in 3 minutes what's wrong with my cat. It was something called thromboembolism. There is no available doctor on sunday, so we had to wait for this morning. He was suffering the entire sunday, but we did everything we could to keep him comfortable. I tried to feed him, give him water in a syringe, but deep down I knew what's going to happen.
Today we went to another clinic, where they immediately confirmed that it's thromboembolism. Ha cannot be saved, the doctor said only 1 out of 10 cats can recover from this, but they require life-long treatment and it can happen again any time.
I am devastated. We will miss him a lot, and I am unable to process the whole thing. We were with him until the end, and now we are going to bury him at home.
Now i have to work. How can i concentrate?
I don't want to live. I want to go after him, after my other cats and dogs who passed away throghout the years.
Every single time when this happens, a part of me dies with them. I can't really talk about this with anyone, so I apologize if it's not exactly part of the 'suicide thread'. I would appreciate some kind words guys, or i don't know.
My little friend, I will love you until eternity and I apologize for letting you down and not taking you to better doctors for the first time. I'm sorry that I haven't noticed the warning signs, if there was any. Please know that I will forever remember you, love you, and if there is any afterlife, please wait for me there, I will find you and hug you again.

 

[nobodycaresaboutme]

I'm so sorry for your loss Please take care of yourself during the tough time. You don't need to apologize. This is a right place.

 

[Dot]

= snds as tho th/ stuatn ws agnst u & thre ws nt mch tht u cld hve dne -- in sme stuatns cntrol = jst an illusn

Evn in humns wh/ cn cmmunc8 tht issu cn easly g/ undiagnosd

= goin2 b easy fr u t/ fcus on hw thy passd awy & wht u cld hve dne bt fr th/ rst of thr lfe u gve thm lovng & cre & th/ typ of lfe tht s/ mny cts nevr xpernce - & am gussng thy wre also lovd rght 2wrds th/ end

Imo U r hurtng bcse hw mch u lovd thm & thy benifittd frm tht lve

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry for your loss.

 

[Spider Lilies]

I understand how you feel so well. My first baby kitty reached almost 1yr before passing from parvovirus in my arms (another rare recovery illness). We were scheduling to have her put to sleep but she didn't make it.

I've lost my best friend of 20 years only just a few months ago. It hurt so much and it still does. But remembrance is also healing in a way.

Our animal friends mean so much to us and we do our best to care for them. I guarantee your kitty would not want you to apologize to them for "missing any signs". You knew something was wrong and were doing everything you possibly could, unfortunately the odds were against the both of you. But until the end you were right there giving as much comfort as you possibly could and really, thats all they look for. He probably knew it was time and all he wanted was to look to you, a favourite in his life, for comfort until that time. Those pets, attempts at soft, cozy bedding and water to ease as much as possible. Those all matter. You did enough.

 

[ifihadnever]

I just want to say a massive sorry for the loss of your cat. I lost my 'soul pet' nearly a year ago and still miss my little buddy like hell. As an animal lover I really feel your pain. I'm so sorry