Venting My brain gets really weird against anyone that it percieves as trying to like harm my relationship with my besties

[coolgal82]

Idk why im even posting this i just want a log of it but like, i've noticed any time i percieve someone as trying to like come between me and my friends in some way i really hate them and like try my best to get rid of them, and if i cant i get really fucking sad/angry and i feel powerless, and everything they say just pisses me off.

Like theres one example where its some girl (fighting the urge to call her "bitch") and like for no reason my brain has decided based off of literally nothing at all that she thinks she's better than me and is trying to replace me and steal my besties??? and like i cant think of why i feel like it but like it just feels correct to my brain. i cannot explain why but it just is and everything she says just pisses me off and it like comes off as really arrogant and like trying too hard to me? idk? i wish my brain wasnt like this. i wanna be normal. why am i like this?

 

[Forever Sleep]

I don't think you're alone. When we have special bonds with people and we kind of rely on them, I think we do feel threatened by people who could diminish or break those bonds. I've felt jealous even towards my friends partners in the past because they took up so much of their time and affection. Plus, friends of mine have been low key hostile to other friends of mine. I think it just stems from insecurity and fear of being abandoned which I suspect, a lot of people struggle with.