My boyfriend always threatens to call cops/mobile crisis on me

[AngelGirl]

What do I do if he actually calls?

How do I react to it if the cops or the mobile crisis team actually comes?? Do I ever admit that I said anything about my suicidal ideation (even in the past)? Is it okay to say I'm depressed?? Or do I just act like I'm super happy and there's nothing going on? (Or will that make them think I'm lying?)

I feel so scared that they will hospitalize me involuntarily.

Please help

 

[Rugnificent]

I'd say your best option is to just cooperate, stay calm, and deny. As long as there is no evidence you feel that way, what can they do? Just unfortunately that's the risk you run telling people unfortunately. :/

 

[Fadinglife]

What do I do if he actually calls?

How do I react to it if the cops or the mobile crisis team actually comes?? Do I ever admit that I said anything about my suicidal ideation (even in the past)? Is it okay to say I'm depressed?? Or do I just act like I'm super happy and there's nothing going on? (Or will that make them think I'm lying?)

I feel so scared that they will hospitalize me involuntarily.

Please help

It would help but certainly kill your relationship. If you tell them you were not serious and just wanted his attention so you wanted to know how would he react if you are not around . Most people don't take it seriously anyway. Easy scapegoat. You can go on with your plans and they would label you attention seeker but take you lightly but do it only if you are certain of taking final step and don't wanna survive.

 

[AngelGirl]

It would help but certainly kill your relationship. If you tell them you were not serious and just wanted his attention so you wanted to know how would he react if you are not around . Most people don't take it seriously anyway. Easy scapegoat. You can go on with your plans and they would label you attention seeker but take you lightly but do it only if you are certain of taking final step and don't wanna survive.

That could have been an option only if he didn't know I was suicidal for a long time and I was even hospitalized for that before...

But at this point I don't fucking care about our relationship anymore how fucking dare him he tries to call cops on me? I trusted him enough to tell him about my suicidal thoughts and now this is how he pays me back?

 

[Jean Améry]

I would say you were just letting your feelings out and your boyfriend misread it/overreacted. If you want to stay out of the psychward deny any concrete plans for suicide, severe suicidal ideation, loss of control over your thoughts and emotions, acquiring means... Being depressed or unhappy usually isn't enough grounds to detain you. If you act like you're on top of the world they might think you're manic and take you in anyway.

I would seriously consider dumping your boyfriend if he's that much of a threat to your freedom. Of course this might come with its own set of problems including becoming even more depressed/suicidal.

Ultimately it's up to you.

 

[Fadinglife]

That could have been an option only if he didn't know I was suicidal for a long time and I was even hospitalized for that before...

But at this point I don't fucking care about our relationship anymore how fucking dare him he tries to call cops on me? I trusted him enough to tell him about my suicidal thoughts and now this is how he pays me back?

I understand how much damaging it is to you and it damaged your trust in him. You needed help and shared your vulnerability but he didn't understand you. I feel for you. I am really sorry you are going through this.

 

[Alchemist]

I'd say the best is to leave him and cut off all contact with him. If the cops really come just pretend everything is okay.

 

[cornflowerblue]

Almost anyone will do that, the only way to avoid it is by avoiding discussion of suicidal behavior and not letting anyone think you're a risk. This forum is one of the only places where it's ok to discuss CTB.

It's really not fair to expect somebody to avoid calling the cops or to think they're uncaring or betraying you by doing so. When you tell somebody you want to CTB and prevent them from acting, you're essentially forcing them into the same thing as allowing a murder to occur. It's like throwing yourself in front of a train and being mad at the driver for braking. You're putting your life in their hands, and even if it's not you're intent, you're holding them hostage a bit by implying that your death is on their hands if they don't prevent it, which can make people feel manipulated or emotionally abused.

Its just better all around not to say anything if you don't want them to call police or stop you. Don't put them into an impossible situation.

I don't think this kills a relationship either, put yourself in the other person's shoes. Fully, without imposing your own values and beliefs.

 

[Soul]

I had an ex phone my therapist to tell him I was hoarding meds with suicide in mind. He didn't want the responsibility in case I did it, and plainly didn't want the relationship either, because there's no way to carry on after a betrayal like that.

@AngelGirl, if any authorities do turn up, as @Jean Améry said, I'm sure you'll be mortified that your friend overreacted so thoroughly to an emotional dialog. I'm sorry you're going through this. (((Hugs)))

 

[Severen]

What do I do if he actually calls?

How do I react to it if the cops or the mobile crisis team actually comes?? Do I ever admit that I said anything about my suicidal ideation (even in the past)? Is it okay to say I'm depressed?? Or do I just act like I'm super happy and there's nothing going on? (Or will that make them think I'm lying?)

I feel so scared that they will hospitalize me involuntarily.

Please help

Tell the cops your boyfriend is just being paranoid after you just told him, you are depressed and then accuse him of lying if he says anything to counter your story. And sounds like, you need to end the relationship... Not saying he is a bad guy. Probably just freaking out. But just not the right kind of boyfriend for someone in your shoes. Because in the end, being locked up in a psych ward isn't going to do shit for you.

 

[ScorpiusDragon]

My advice: stop confiding in him.
As much as I love my boyfriend, I stopped talking to him about my suicidal thoughts. It's easier to let him think I'm "getting better."