My bf dont care about me but i have trouble leaving him

[Lunaloveflood]

Maybe it's a good thing and he'll give me the last push i need to finally find the strenght to kill my self. But it's so hard and he makes me feel so worthless.
I'm trying to make him realise that he is hurting me, but by doing that i'm just realising how much he doesn't give a shit about me
I have never felt this lonely before and i spend most of my time alone But this is different i just feel completly misunderstood and guilty of not feeling good and "having fun" with him.
It's my first relashionship and i regret not staying celibate I have almost no energy to use and i'm using it to please him but he doesn't do the same for me. I don't know how to leave him i feel so bad leaving him and he doesn't take it seriously when i try anyway

 

[Life_and_Death]

i think im in the same situation with my husband and i havent figured out what to do yet either. sending you hugs

 

[Ghost2211]

Being alone in a relationship is worse than being alone. It doesn't sound like he loves or appreciates you. When you say he doesn't take it seriously when you say you're leaving what does he say? If you distance then come back to him he won't take it seriously. If you want out of the loveless relationship you would need to walk away, and not give room for doubt that it can be fixed.

 

[Lunaloveflood]

i think im in the same situation with my husband and i havent figured out what to do yet either. sending you hugs

I suppressed the reply by accident .. I'm not very gifted lol

Being alone in a relationship is worse than being alone. It doesn't sound like he loves or appreciates you. When you say he doesn't take it seriously when you say you're leaving what does he say? If you distance then come back to him he won't take it seriously. If you want out of the loveless relationship you would need to walk away, and not give room for doubt that it can be fixed.

He accepte it right away as if it's all he ever wanted and then find a way to contact me few days later and then proceed to do as if nothing changed and i don't know how to react. I usually try to act as friend then end up seeing him again because i can't let go of the hope that we can fix the relationship .. I understand why he can't take me serioulsy seeing how fast i come back.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I suppressed the reply by accident .. I'm not very gifted lol

He accepte it right away as if it's all he ever wanted and then find a way to contact me few days later and then proceed to do as if nothing changed and i don't know how to react. I usually try to act as friend then end up seeing him again because i can't let go of the hope that we can fix the relationship .. I understand why he can't take me serioulsy seeing how fast i come back.

Maybe these two terms will help you in some way...

Hoovering is when the other person tries to suck you back in like a vacuum cleaner, as he does when he gets back in touch a few days after you end it. They want to suck some more energy and emotion and attention from you. (But whatever you give them, they don't process it like it's intended. They use it for a different purpose. I just had this thought -- it's like the relationship is a car, so you give the other person gasoline and they use the gasoline for their motorcycle or their airplane or for fuel for something of theirs that doesn't even run on gasoline -- and they'll get mad about that--and you're just sitting in the car, waiting for it to go. They may put a couple of drops in the car, but it never goes as far as it should, or as far as they promise it will, or even in the direction they promise or imply it will.) Even when they discard you, they will often hoover again later when they want some more fuel for their motorcycle or whatever.

Going back is slot-machining, it's investing in the slot machine of hope. You waste your resources and never get the promised payout or jackpot, maybe a few small returns here and there.

 

[Lunaloveflood]

Maybe these two terms will help you in some way...

Hoovering is when the other person tries to suck you back in like a vacuum cleaner, as he does when he gets back in touch a few days after you end it. They want to suck some more energy and emotion and attention from you. (But whatever you give them, they don't process it like it's intended. They use it for a different purpose. I just had this thought -- it's like the relationship is a car, so you give the other person gasoline and they use the gasoline for their motorcycle or their airplane or for fuel for something of theirs that doesn't even run on gasoline -- and they'll get mad about that--and you're just sitting in the car, waiting for it to go. They may put a couple of drops in the car, but it never goes as far as it should, or as far as they promise it will, or even in the direction they promise or imply it will.) Even when they discard you, they will often hoover again later when they want some more fuel for their motorcycle or whatever.

Going back is slot-machining, it's investing in the slot machine of hope. You waste your resources and never get the promised payout or jackpot, maybe a few small returns here and there.

Thanks you so much for this, i think i'm gonna keep your message somewhere in my phone and read it many time especially when i have an hard time realising the truth of this relationship.

You have describe so clearly something i have trouble to even understand.

Thanks really thanks a lot I don't know if you can realise how much this is helping me to call out the bullshit that is hiden in this relationship and hopefully to leave it soon.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Thanks you so much for this, i think i'm gonna keep your message somewhere in my phone and read it many time especially when i have an hard time realising the truth of this relationship.

You have describe so clearly something i have trouble to even understand.

Thanks really thanks a lot I don't know if you can realise how much this is helping me to call out the bullshit that is hiden in this relationship and hopefully to leave it soon.

You're welcome! I'm so glad it helped!!!!

I do understand how much awareness helps, how empowering it is. I'm happy to share the resources I've learned that have helped me to get away from, stay away from, and heal from bullshit.

 

[Lunaloveflood]

You're welcome! I'm so glad it helped!!!!

I do understand how much awareness helps, how empowering it is. I'm happy to share the resources I've learned that have helped me to get away from, stay away from, and heal from bullshit.

The car analogy really tiqued in my brain It's maybe to early to let go right now but with some work from my part i feel like it's the flame i need to turn this relationship into ashes(in a good way)