Venting my best friend wants to ctb and i don't know what to do.

[synthcadia]

this happened tonight and just.

i know the point of ctb + this site is to let people choose, but this is my best friend and i am selfish. i can't live with myself if he dies. if anyone i care about dies, i will die inside or actually ctb. i know it's selfish but like i have been to so many funerals (like 7 or 8 in my life) that i can't bear the thought of death to someone i love.

he is coming to meet me on saturday and i am hoping he holds out and lives.

sometimes, i want to recommend him this site. but my selfishness kicks in. i'm not sorry for that, but i care about him so much.

he is one of the few people i would die for, would give my life for.

i don't know what to do or say to help him.

 

[gbi2]

All anyone can do is to discuss their issues and go through every possible option with them to see if ctb can be avoided. this might mean you having to be there for them a lot, long conversations, depending on your situations, letting them stay with you if they are losing a home, anything.

But don't make a promise you can't keep because that can devastate someone in need. Undertsand when you speak to him, his logic, train of thought and so on will be different from yours. Don't play down how he is feeling by saying things like "oh that happens to everyone". Make sure you show him his feelings and thoughts have value. ?Be careful about recommending professional help and if you want to do that I would say look up where they can go with them. Don't just say "go to see a therapist". Physically help him do what he needs to do if he needs you to because sometimes just telling someone where they need to go sounds like you are just trying to get rid of them and faking caring.

 

[Stormy Raine]

I strongly suggest simply enjoying your time with your friend! Don't focus so much on his plan but just enjoy life and the time you guys will share together, plan fun activities and take pictures! I'm always having SI and the last thing I would want is someone constantly asking me why, how and when, truth is I don't know and if I ever do go I won't tell anyone and there is nobody that can stop me! I tell everyone enjoy everyday that you have and don't focus so much on tomorrow, you have no control over that. I know it's difficult for you both but just enjoy

 

[synthcadia]

All anyone can do is to discuss their issues and go through every possible option with them to see if ctb can be avoided. this might mean you having to be there for them a lot, long conversations, depending on your situations, letting them stay with you if they are losing a home, anything.

But don't make a promise you can't keep because that can devastate someone in need. Undertsand when you speak to him, his logic, train of thought and so on will be different from yours. Don't play down how he is feeling by saying things like "oh that happens to everyone". Make sure you show him his feelings and thoughts have value. ?Be careful about recommending professional help and if you want to do that I would say look up where they can go with them. Don't just say "go to see a therapist". Physically help him do what he needs to do if he needs you to because sometimes just telling someone where they need to go sounds like you are just trying to get rid of them and faking caring.

this is an online friend so some stuff is harder, and like i live in america permanently, but to be honest i would let him live with me if i could.

i get where he's coming from bc he's helped me before from suicidal rants and stuff before. like i guess i'm just saying what i would want to hear, even though i don't think that is entirely beneficial...

when i see him in person i am giving him a huge hug. and thank you for this btw, i will do this too.

I strongly suggest simply enjoying your time with your friend! Don't focus so much on his plan but just enjoy life and the time you guys will share together, plan fun activities and take pictures! I'm always having SI and the last thing I would want is someone constantly asking me why, how and when, truth is I don't know and if I ever do go I won't tell anyone and there is nobody that can stop me! I tell everyone enjoy everyday that you have and don't focus so much on tomorrow, you have no control over that. I know it's difficult for you both but just enjoy

when i meet him in person i am doing this for sure. i will try to enjoy every moment with him <3 thank you

 

[gbi2]

this is an online friend so some stuff is harder, and like i live in america permanently, but to be honest i would let him live with me if i could.

i get where he's coming from bc he's helped me before from suicidal rants and stuff before. like i guess i'm just saying what i would want to hear, even though i don't think that is entirely beneficial...

when i see him in person i am giving him a huge hug. and thank you for this btw, i will do this too.

when i meet him in person i am doing this for sure. i will try to enjoy every moment with him <3 thank you

Bless you for being a good friend. I hope you help him to see if there is something he can do to keep the thoughts away but if not I'm sure he'll be glad someone was there to help him try.

 

[Vesiira]

this happened tonight and just.

i know the point of ctb + this site is to let people choose, but this is my best friend and i am selfish. i can't live with myself if he dies. if anyone i care about dies, i will die inside or actually ctb. i know it's selfish but like i have been to so many funerals (like 7 or 8 in my life) that i can't bear the thought of death to someone i love.

he is coming to meet me on saturday and i am hoping he holds out and lives.

sometimes, i want to recommend him this site. but my selfishness kicks in. i'm not sorry for that, but i care about him so much.

he is one of the few people i would die for, would give my life for.

i don't know what to do or say to help him.

i understand your fear and sadness about your friend. to us it doesn't matter if we live or die, but when it's someone we care about and might have to "live" without makes all the difference. we can't help but feel "selfish" because we can imagine how much it'll hurt. it's okay to be feeling this, you're only human. it makes sense you don't know what to do or say when you feel the same. <3

 

[synthcadia]

Bless you for being a good friend. I hope you help him to see if there is something he can do to keep the thoughts away but if not I'm sure he'll be glad someone was there to help him try.

thank you, i just feel like i'm doing the basic requirement of being a person. i dunno. ><

i hope i can help him see that too, i hope he's glad i'm here.

i understand your fear and sadness about your friend. to us it doesn't matter if we live or die, but when it's someone we care about and might have to "live" without makes all the difference. we can't help but feel "selfish" because we can imagine how much it'll hurt. it's okay to be feeling this, you're only human. it makes sense you don't know what to do or say when you feel the same. <3

thank you for this, i was worried that people would say bc this place is to let people choose, but yet my words are fighting against someone choosing that.

i'm pretty dissociated rn but yeah i am only human, i gotta remember that.