StillBreathing
Student
- Dec 4, 2022
- 153
This weekend my best friend killed himself. I feel empty, not sad, angry or anything. Probably because I know the feeling of not wanting to live.
I knew he was struggling and we talked a lot about these things but I had no idea he planned on leaving without a word.
I am confused why he would go without telling me. We always had deep and interesting conversations, talking about everything both good and bad. Seeing how quickly he is forgotten amongst our common friends is surreal..
It feels like I am not mourning the loss of my friend, but that he felt he could not tell me his darkest thoughts.
I got better for a while and probably won't follow him yet.. But this all has made me think about what is the point of staying if even my closest friends feel the same.
I knew he was struggling and we talked a lot about these things but I had no idea he planned on leaving without a word.
I am confused why he would go without telling me. We always had deep and interesting conversations, talking about everything both good and bad. Seeing how quickly he is forgotten amongst our common friends is surreal..
It feels like I am not mourning the loss of my friend, but that he felt he could not tell me his darkest thoughts.
I got better for a while and probably won't follow him yet.. But this all has made me think about what is the point of staying if even my closest friends feel the same.