Discussion 'Must-do's' vs 'Should-do's'.

[Forever Sleep]

Most days, I have 'Must-do's' and 'Should-do's'. 'Must-do's' are things like- go in to work, washing, eating. I can usually do them- because they're expected of me and I'll get into trouble if I don't do them. However, I'm finding some of my 'must-do's'- like washing are drifting into 'should-do's' if I don't have to go in to work and no one but me will notice.

Right now- I have freelance work I should be doing from home but the deadline is a way off- so- I can't be bothered. Sometimes I can be good with the 'should-do's'- things like exercise- because I know it will make me feel better in the long run. I'm just finding I'm so lazy and lethargic now though. It's pretty hard to see the point in doing anything when your ultimate goal is to CTB.

How are you on making yourself do stuff? Are you actually grateful for things like work- if you have to work? In that- it forces you to do things? Or, do you just resent it all?

 

[BornHated]

I just try to modify or add to the activity if it's possible. I have to wash a ton of dishes here at home daily for the most part, so I grab my phone and earbuds and try a new music playlist or a comfort one. Eventually a song or genre runs dry and I try something else (education podcast style thing, etc).
If it can be broken down into smaller slots, I do it too. Recently I've burnt out on doing the dishes in one swoop since it's so many, so I chip away at it and come back to it later. I hate working on boring tasks for long stretches of time and regularly need to cycle stuff around to keep doing it.

Also ended up making a bunch of systems to prevent dirtying in the first place (change of shoes as soon as you get home sort of thing). I ass myself to spot clean when I notice my motivation grow very stagnant, at least for the areas I spend a lot of time around, because I notice the boost to my mood that it can bring.

Overall though, just trying not to guilt yourself over it... If you're not getting paid to have everything in perfect order constantly then you don't have to stress if you have no one else that has to deal with it, I guess. Keep in mind most better off people hire others to clean for them while they live their normal lives.

 

[Daxter_87]

I don't think you are being "lazy" for not wanting to work, it's no wonder. Who likes to lead a life consisting mostly of servitude? I don't even believe the word "lazy" has any real meaning, as it's only used to guil-trip people into being servile. That's also why I always put such term (and others) in quotes.

As for your last questions, I certainly wouldn't be grateful to have the opportunity to work; it's no different from saying that I would be grateful to have the opportunity to be a slave.

 

[chloramine]

For what it's worth I don't think that's fair to label as laziness. If you know the spoon metaphor then it seems like you've had fewer spoons and have been prioritizing the musts over the shoulds which is what you're supposed to do in most scenarios.

I was doing okay with the should dos for a few months, but I've been slipping back into struggling to do anything and all of my must dos just ended. I do appreciate having a couple must dos as long as they're small enough to not become bigger problems. Like when I last had an every day job I was working 50+ hours a week and on one hand yeah it got me out of the house, but after a year and a bit I hit the point where I was getting burnt out and just. Couldn't anymore. So it really depends on what the musts are and how much they take.