BG, as your bud, I suggest you gather yourself and work on becoming centered. I see so many similarities between ourselves, and truly feel you could be my brother.
Since we both suffer bipolar, I can see aspects in your actions that reflect behaviors within myself. It seems to me that you might be struggling through an elevated mood just as I have been over this past month. For myself, my mood has finally reverted back to baseline thanks to taking Zyprexa, which is highly effective in breaking my elevated moods. We have discussed Zyprexa before.
I believe that I took a brief glance at your meditations and did not notice a mood stabilizer. Do you think it might be in your best interest to contact NHS today, to advise that you are in crisis, and to obtain a mood stabilizer to help you weather the storm?
You have incredible entrepreneurial spirit and I admire it very much. I can see a lot of potential in you, and if you become more centered with your approach, I can see you becoming a huge success. A mood stabilizer might just be the missing piece, and if in fact you are on a mood stabilizer, I suggest you consider switching to something more effective.
I highly recommend you learn and practice mindfulness and meditation. This will help you center. It will help you ride out some of these highs and lows you have been on for the past several weeks.
Can't speak for the UK, but there are plenty of contract opportunities for accountants in the states. You've been so close to piecing stuff together, and it seems with an altered strategy that you can piece projects together to get you through your current financial struggles.
