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porcelainplate
handcrafted bud
- Aug 15, 2024
- 2
csa talk. may be graphic
how does a person even come over getting sexually abused for 2 years in your most important growth stage in life? my sense of what love and intimacy in relationships since ive been 12+ has been permanently messed with. i cannot get into relationships nor talk to people older than me without thinking they are planning some carefully crafted scheme to rape me. i cant even hear simple words of affection without thinking of the man who ruined me. i dont feel like i can think for myself anymore. i dont enjoy anything or talking to people. i am quite literally the shell of a person who once was. i want to be able to love someone without seeing the random 27 year old fucking freak in them. ill never be able to love normally but all i have to give is love.
i really hate living like this and ive no connection to my body or anything about myself anymore, really. ive been thinking of attempting to ctb but i know ill never be able to do it myself so i feel as if im forever stuck in this loop. i wish he could have killed me or something
im very sorry if this is sappy in any way
how does a person even come over getting sexually abused for 2 years in your most important growth stage in life? my sense of what love and intimacy in relationships since ive been 12+ has been permanently messed with. i cannot get into relationships nor talk to people older than me without thinking they are planning some carefully crafted scheme to rape me. i cant even hear simple words of affection without thinking of the man who ruined me. i dont feel like i can think for myself anymore. i dont enjoy anything or talking to people. i am quite literally the shell of a person who once was. i want to be able to love someone without seeing the random 27 year old fucking freak in them. ill never be able to love normally but all i have to give is love.
i really hate living like this and ive no connection to my body or anything about myself anymore, really. ive been thinking of attempting to ctb but i know ill never be able to do it myself so i feel as if im forever stuck in this loop. i wish he could have killed me or something
im very sorry if this is sappy in any way