Pluto

Pluto

Meowing to go out
Dec 27, 2020
4,106
Disclaimer: this is a load of rambling and does not contain any answers. A question was raised in chat recently and I wanted to try and articulate a comprehensive argument.

One of the benefits of being a senior citizen is having slightly more perspective. So I wanted to share some thoughts about issues around motivation and disability. In summary, time spent wisely can generate good results, while time spent unwisely can generate poor results. However there are also legitimate handicaps to take into account like age, genetics, opportunities and so forth. If all this were somehow condensed into a single formula, it would allow any person to gauge their potential.

Bruce Lee
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Bruce Lee, circa-1971, behind the scenes of The Way of The Dragon with a cat.

Born in 1940 in San Francisco, Bruce Lee grew up in Hong Kong and went on to become a master of martial arts and filmmaking. He developed his own style of martial arts and philosophy, the latter influenced by Zen Buddhism. He is regarded as the first Chinese global film star and introduced an entire genre of cinema to the West. He died suddenly, age 32, of cerebral edema, though possible issues like medication overuse and physical over-exertion were factors.

What I find most remarkable about him was his total focus upon his craft. The likely result of the Zen influence was a mind devoid of noise and a routine without any wasted energy. It could be argued that his mind was so strong that his body was ultimately unable to keep up.

Of equivalently driven superstars who did survive unto old age, they tended to diversify their careers into an entire tree of success. Jackie Chan's side projects included being a singer who has released 20 albums and sung in 5 languages. Arnie went from being the world's top bodybuilder to the world's top actor to governor of California. These are best-case scenarios combining motivation, ability, opportunity and snowballing success.

The Unheard Millions
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Using successful people as a source of inspiration is a double-edged sword. The masterclass in psychological drive may provide a push of motivation to be one's best, though a truly honest appraisal of life needs to account for variables like the aforementioned opportunity which are by no means universal. There can be physical disability, being born into disadvantage (such as, to use an extreme example, being a citizen of North Korea), poverty or mental illness.

There is a wild card here because in the world of elite sports, there are a significant number of athletes who come from tragic or violent backgrounds. When their furious energies are directed towards training rather than self-pity, greatness is hard to avoid. Arnie himself had an ex-Nazi father who descended into violence and mental illness, which contributed to his brother's early death, so he is a good example of this phenomenon. Intense energy, channeled wisely.

Therefore, the argument is not being made that every man and his dog is one pep talk away from emulating the stratospheric success of Hollywood's elite. This would not only be downright inaccurate, but actually harmful by setting us up to fail.

The Recipe for Failure
Cat epic fail in 321
This is hard to talk about without inviting abuse. I am trying to talk about a topic which is 'close to home' for many of us, without starting a flame war. The point is that there strikes me as being a definitive formula for failure. In this personal dystopia, the result will not only be a lack of success, but being the worst possible version of oneself. We have:

- Escapism
My favourite example is the TV series The Biggest Loser. (There is both a US and an Australian version.) I once had an overweight friend who used to watch it religiously. The irony is that if she spent the same time exercising, she would not be overweight anymore. It was painfully obvious that she passionately desired to change her life, but was instead directing that energy towards sitting in front of the television like a slob.

More subtle, there is a whole host of ways in which media immerses viewers in a fool's paradise, surrounded by an aesthetic wonderland of attractive and talented people in interesting situations, but the catch is that it isn't real. Here we have excesses of video games, anime, TikTok doomscrolling, porn, movies and other social media. If it involves watching other people do something you want to do as a substitute for taking action to do it yourself, I count it as escapism. (Yes, I just criticised all things sacred and holy and now I'm going to be abused en masse. Please form an orderly queue and have your ad hominem ready.)

- Psychological Projection
This links on from the previous point. Here in Australia it often takes the form of an obese, unkept, drunken bloke in a Bonds singlet objectifying and judging female models on the TV like a fine wine. Again, the (literal?) elephant in the room is in the mirror.

- Hate and Toxicity
This is again an evolution of the last point. As before, a notable example is misogyny, though it often gets conflated with all sorts of racism, homophobia, etc. Speaking very broadly, one notices that people who perform in life at their peak tend to be conspicuously non-toxic by comparison. As an example, Jackie Chan reportedly insisted that the antagonists in his movies represent an ethnically diverse group, to avoid stereotyping any particular demographic.

The Ambiguous Conclusion
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As mentioned, there is not a simple conclusion to this discussion. The motivational mindset can generate immense results, but is also factually inaccurate by simplistically professing that anyone can achieve anything. There is nuance needed here, and plenty of it. I've also used examples of male role models (and non-role-models) with an emphasis on physical training, which is a reflection on biases I have regarding my own situation. So instead of empty preaching, I will simply conclude with my own real-world experience and what I have learned.

As a child, I was a fanatical Arnie fan, and then some. At one point in high school, I was in the habit of watching Terminator 2 (on VHS in those days) on a daily basis. However, I was far, far too stupid to understand what this meant for me psychologically. It was The Biggest Loser syndrome.

Now, 30 years later, I can comment that I desperately yearned for a father figure, unlike the scumbag man I had to live with at home. I also wanted to embody the best of masculinity: something tough as nails yet a protector of the innocent; the opposite of my loser father. Further, I hated how I was; skinny, scared, awkward, always being laughed at and an easy target for asshole bullies at home and school. I ultimately failed to finish high school because the abuse caused me to stop functioning.

In my 20s, I first experimented with an exercise routine, but results were poor and I never got far. Years of struggling with isolation, trauma, mental illness, zero support and the need to try and gain some basic financial independence followed, but through ruthless dedication (driven by fear more than anything else, if I'm honest) I finally found myself with a house and the ability to invest energy into less urgent matters. I also had a work colleague offer to introduce me to his gym, which was said to be friendly to newcomers.

I started with proper fitness at the age of 41. It's been 2.5 years. I have a reputation for being a ruthless machine. I've increased my body weight by more than 33%. I've suffered many injuries, the least of which was a fractured leg, and each time I would simply reduce my weights so I could still continue.

Gym pusheen

I do have crappy genes which means I don't look particularly strong even though I am. I have a fast metabolism so I have to eat about 10 meals a day, including multiple overnight, which ensures I can never sleep more than 2-3 hours at a time. On my rest days, I am often bed-ridden all day. But on the whole, as an experiment, this has been the closest thing to applying a Bruce Lee mentality to a broken, weak, depressed, ageing, mentally ill loser.

Of course, I wish I could give this advice to my former self of decades ago, though this thought is itself wasted energy that should be directed towards something constructive. Yes, in my position, it has proved possible to channel energies wisely and put up a hell of a fight. I was slow to figure out what I was capable of, yet I still have real limits to this day. In the future, I might give up on this pain-ridden wreck of a lifetime, or the mindset of strength that I've discovered might manifest in life taking some positive new direction.

However, I feel like I wanted to put this out there in case even one person can gain something from it. I should be tough enough to cop the inevitable flak.
 
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H

Hvergelmir

Experienced
May 5, 2024
260
This is well written, realistic, and considerate, and a perspective that is way too rare around here.
I've seen the same pattern in myself, where a lot of fear or desperation is needed to truly work productively and consistently, when there's no foundation of hope, faith or recent success supporting it. To me your post served as a much appreciated reminder of what ought to be obvious, but somehow is easy to forget.

I doubt you'll see much flak, but we'll see. šŸ±
 

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