Discussion Motivation and purpose post-planning

[ophiastri]

Since I've found a method that I'm in the process of working through, I'm really having a hard time being able to do much of anything now. I normally spend all of my time in my online life with MMOs and other time-consuming games like Monster Hunter where I'm able to focus on personal goals and progression endlessly so that I'm not thinking bad things but since I know that everything I do now is almost certainly going to have no payoff or purpose that I will be able to see, every time I try to distract myself with a game now I just immediately want to quit. Even if I'm able to force myself to get into it, I can't avoid thinking about how futile and pointless it is to do things over and over for progression. Needless to say, if I can't find the motivation to do that, I typically just sit and watch videos or something more inactive where there's an opportunity for my anxiety to spiral out of control even worse than it would have had I been distracted.

The most productive thing I feel I can do right now is to spend time hanging out around the few MMO friends I have to give them more time with me in the last weeks. Of course, I can't really tell them the gift I'm giving them... so all I can do is just hope they appreciate it. It feels like the only option I really have right now is sitting in perpetual existential dread with the few people who even remotely care while waiting for the right time.

I'd imagine this is a normal part of the process but it would just comfort me to know others are also dealing with the same thing and how they're getting through it.

 

[deadwithoutmusic]

I'm in a somewhat similar situation. Planning to ctb and just waiting for my delivery of SN which I'm still not entirely sure if or when I will go through with it but it will be comforting to have it.

I lost a lot of motivation for my work the past months and recently got to a point where I can't even do anything when I'm there now and had to take time off. I can still enjoy playing games with freinds and watching youtube though as it distracts me a lot from my emotions and is quite mindless to me. I also chat with my friends while I play which probably helps me from thinking negative thoughts. Even though all this is meaningless I can still find some joy in it when I successfully block out my emotions which games are very good at doing this, especially for me which is why I use them as an escape so much.

 

[Spitfire]

I am empathetic to what you are trying to say. It sounds similar to how I felt at one point in my life.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

Can't help much, I do just do nothing and my life suffers as a result

 

[demuic]

I feel the same, I have only done one assignment in any of my classes this week, and have played any video games for more than 5 minutes since exactly a month ago. I just think about CTB, and mindless passive things like reading.