Discussion Most annoying things people say to someone who is suicidal

[Passenger4224]

What are some of the things people say you find to be the most annoying? (And your responses if you have any?)

I cannot stand "It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem." ... Like cool I guess? I like having problems be permanently resolved.

And also, pro-lifers say people like me are 'mentally ill'. There are plenty of studies that show intelligent people are more likely to be depressed. I believe their definition of 'mental illness' is BS.

 

[Charmander07]

I hate when people say it always gets better, I mean in most cases it does (it mostly did for me), but I think it's insensitive to assume smth like that. Would you say that to the person that barely survived a war and has no limbs and will suffer their whole life? No, they'd be more at peace dying as their situation will never get better. But people refuse to believe mental health can be so severe that sometimes you feel like there's no way out. I mean it hurts to say, in an ideal world things could work out for everyone and I'll always tell people to make sure to try everything they can, but sometimes certain people cant

 

[_Gollum_]

"You're so young, you have your entire life ahead of you" (as if pain has an age, as if the idea of staying another 50+ years of this hellscape when you're already at the end of your rope is in any way, shape, or form tantalizing)

 

[chudpolonais]

i second both replies above me. i'd also like to nominate "if you were suicidal you'd have killed yourself by now"

 

[angelita]

It has to be the "but someone/me" like the person doesn't even really care honestly they just say that because it's the most morably acceptable answer to tell you in your face

 

[Passenger4224]

I hate when people say it always gets better, I mean in most cases it does (it mostly did for me), but I think it's insensitive to assume smth like that. Would you say that to the person that barely survived a war and has no limbs and will suffer their whole life? No, they'd be more at peace dying as their situation will never get better. But people refuse to believe mental health can be so severe that sometimes you feel like there's no way out. I mean it hurts to say, in an ideal world things could work out for everyone and I'll always tell people to make sure to try everything they can, but sometimes certain people cant

Yea there are some people where it just doesn't get better. Like, if you were born a certain way or into the wrong situation, it can be hopeless.

 

[Charmander07]

Yea there are some people where it just doesn't get better. Like, if you were born a certain way or into the wrong situation, it can be hopeless.

Yeah it's really sad but unfortunately it's the truth and some people just don't see it

 

[Passenger4224]

"You're so young, you have your entire life ahead of you" (as if pain has an age, as if the idea of staying another 50+ years of this hellscape when you're already at the end of your rope is in any way, shape, or form tantalizing)

Can't stand this one

I think "Whole life of what?"

 

[Sord17]

I think a lot of the advise comes down to guilt tripping "what about people who care about you" and being delusional "what if things get better" it's really annoying because I know people feel like they're helping but it's very useless. Like what if anything, how could things change?

 

[Matchaaa]

If you kill yourself, what will happen to your parents?"
"You've only just become an adult—your life has only just begun."

It often feels like the people who say these things don't actually care about the quality of an individual's life. They like to point to those rare, lottery-like stories where someone turns their life around as proof, while ignoring the vast number of cases where reality is much harsher.
Every time I hear these words, it feels as if they believe a person's level of suffering somehow depends on their age…

 

[Proceed]

"Some people have it worse"

 

[aufrechtm7]

"Some people have it worse"

This is the worst one out of all of them and I'm fully convinced anyone who says that to someone suicidal is a fucking idiot. Suffering and pain is not a competition.

 

[Roseate]

the thing is it's not a temporary problem, it's a permanent problem. It's like having diabetes type 2, once you have it that's it you've got it forever, with a lot of care you can maybe get it dormant but you'll still technically have it and anything can bring it back, and it's also a gateway to many other problems and sickness. It's a permanent issue to have a mental problem, there is nothing temporary about it. I've had it for over 12 years and so have plenty of other people on here and even longer. I wish they could acknowledge that it's permanent and still disagree with the method of suicide, the lying and gaslighting us about our situation it's giving us a false sense of hope then when life doesn't live up to those expectations, it worsens our mental health

 

[socksnsandles]

"what do you think happens when you die? nothing."

Ok. GOOD. Bring on the nothing lmao

 

[dreaming]

"You'll find a reason to live" is one I've heard a few times lately and its simply irritating.

One that I feel bad about getting annoyed by is just people asking "how was your day?", "how are you?", I feel bad because I know its a kind gesture or attempt at smalltalk but my answer never changes, "fine", which is tiring to repeat because its untrue, but saying I'm miserable whenever someone asks either makes me look attention-seeky or makes them pry for more details that I don't want to talk about.

 

[the_calynite]

Idk, if i had listened to myself before then i wouldnt enjoy what i now have. its tempting to push through

 

[aufrechtm7]

the thing is it's not a temporary problem, it's a permanent problem.

Suicidal ideation isn't a permanent problem tbf, some people can recover some can't. Mental illness and suicidal ideation aren't mutually exclusive after all.

 

[DungEater]

Being guilt tripped every single time i bring it up so i just learn to keep it to myself

 

[Dawns]

"Hang in there"

 

[thelostautistic]

I've been told to "get a grip" and "you just have to deal with your problems" from crisis workers. I was also told to "grow up" by a family member. I don't understand how people can say things like this to someone who is struggling. I still think about these comments a lot and they still hurt

 

[aesthetic]

"you're so young, you still have your whole life ahead of you."

 

[JassieDusk]

People who enjoy life can't comprehend someone else not enjoying it.
That's why it's nobody's business if we want to end it. You love your life? I'm happy for you, I hope you have a long life filled with joy. But don't tell me what I have to do with mine. I don't owe anyone a reason to why I don't want it. I was brought here against my will, so with my will I shall leave it whenever I wish so

 

[Rogue_Gendarme]

What are some of the things people say you find to be the most annoying? (And your responses if you have any?)

I cannot stand "It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem." ... Like cool I guess? I like having problems be permanently resolved.

And also, pro-lifers say people like me are 'mentally ill'. There are plenty of studies that show intelligent people are more likely to be depressed. I believe their definition of 'mental illness' is BS.

The guy who said that, Robin Williams, CTB'ed, btw.

 

[I can see the light]

There are a lot of good ones here that I resonate with. And I would like to add people trying to convert you to their religion, or guilt trip with religion like "if you kill your self you'll go to hell". Like thanks but I don't even believe in that. So now you're just saying that you think I'm a horrible person for just wanting the pain to stop.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

They tell me I have to be grateful for being alive

Grateful for what for being brain cells and a brain that can suffer pain so bad it's a billion times worse than I can imagine .

 

[Roseate]

Suicidal ideation isn't a permanent problem tbf, some people can recover some can't. Mental illness and suicidal ideation aren't mutually exclusive after all.

But how common is it for someone to have suicide ideation without some sort of depression? Just like with type 2 diabetes, it's not just overweight people that eat unhealthy that gets it.

 

[aufrechtm7]

But how common is it for someone to have suicide ideation without some sort of depression? Just like with type 2 diabetes, it's not just overweight people that eat unhealthy that gets it.

quite uncommon if i had to guess, but the mental illness itself does not necessarily mean youll have permanent suicidal ideation. for example, ive had severe depression for over 10 years and my desire to ctb didnt start until somewhat recently, there are people who can live with debilitating illnesses who dont develop this problem without additional circumstances.

 

[yotaka]

What are some of the things people say you find to be the most annoying? (And your responses if you have any?)

The one that gets to me the most is "Suicide is selfish." FUCK people who say that. I'm not a violent person at all, but that mindset makes me want to punch some fucking faces. I've lost friends to suicide, and yes, it sucks very much. But you know what I think is selfish? Expecting them to stick around and suffer for my sake.

"You're so young, you have your entire life ahead of you" (as if pain has an age, as if the idea of staying another 50+ years of this hellscape when you're already at the end of your rope is in any way, shape, or form tantalizing)

"you're so young, you still have your whole life ahead of you."

I've definitely been guilty of this one. I apologize to anyone I've said it to here if it came off as dismissive or condescending. I think I say that because I have so many regrets and wish I could be young again and change the course my life took.

One that I feel bad about getting annoyed by is just people asking "how was your day?", "how are you?", I feel bad because I know its a kind gesture or attempt at smalltalk but my answer never changes, "fine", which is tiring to repeat because its untrue, but saying I'm miserable whenever someone asks either makes me look attention-seeky or makes them pry for more details that I don't want to talk about.

This is one of those little things that makes day-to-day life unbearable. I get asked "How's it going?" or "How are you?" at least a few times a day at work and I don't even know how to answer anymore. Usually I'll just give a thumbs up because it feels a little less like lying.

 

[Passenger4224]

There are a lot of good ones here that I resonate with. And I would like to add people trying to convert you to their religion, or guilt trip with religion like "if you kill your self you'll go to hell". Like thanks but I don't even believe in that. So now you're just saying that you think I'm a horrible person for just wanting the pain to stop.

Plot twist! I'm already in hell!

But yea the religious responses are an instant facepalm.

The one that gets to me the most is "Suicide is selfish." FUCK people who say that. I'm not a violent person at all, but that mindset makes me want to punch some fucking faces. I've lost friends to suicide, and yes, it sucks very much. But you know what I think is selfish? Expecting them to stick around and suffer for my sake.

"Suicide is selfish" is one response I was waiting to see here lol. It's so full of entitlement