Mornings

[sincerely dead]

the moment my brain realizes I'm awake and my eyes open for the first time in the day, I am full of dread. Heavy chest, exhaustion even after 10 hours of sleep, and just this complete feeling of being a waste of space and time. I hate this life.

It never seems to be okay. Ever. And I work a 9-5 client facing job and having to do it over and over and over and smile and be bubbly and exciting is so fucking excruciating. I can't do this… can someone give me a lil hype/pep talk to get through the day? Or just… remind me I'm not crazy for having suicide on my mind every minute of the day?

 

[Mitsumi]

You're really strong. I don't think I could do what you do.

I also have periods of high anxiety/dread so I imagine how you must feel. Hope you get better!

 

[sincerely dead]

You're really strong. I don't think I could do what you do.

I also have periods of high anxiety/dread so I imagine how you must feel. Hope you get better!

I have to leave for work in ten minutes and this really helped to hear. Thank you.

I just can't do this anymore. I've been at it for so long and I've also been "done" for so long but I just can't seem to CTB. I'm so scared and in pain and just hopeless.

 

[Mitsumi]

I have to leave for work in ten minutes and this really helped to hear. Thank you.

I just can't do this anymore. I've been at it for so long and I've also been "done" for so long but I just can't seem to CTB. I'm so scared and in pain and just hopeless.

Np. I also have that feeling of hopelessness. I tried to ctb months ago but failed. I also can't do it rn because it's a bad timing.

 

[Tired_of_myself]

I dont know for you… but mornings for me are worst than nights… nights im tired and sleepy, but i feel so drained when i wake up, like how am im going through another day? And im up, i remember all my failures…

Today i feel even worse cause im going Back to work after holidays… staying Home the past days made me realize i need to ctb soon… but i dont have the strenght to do it now. Early december i tried and survived, and now my life is kind of supervised….

you are very strong, thanks for sharing…

 

[prtsn]

You're strong for just get up in the morning and are not weird or crazy for thinking about suicide. Do you have any hobbies? aspirations? pets? anything that can give you some solace?

 

[FuneralCry]

I see it as very much understandable wishing to be free from an existence you hate, I find it cruel how there isn't the option to just fall into an eternal sleep, it must be tiring and dreadful what you are going through. But anyway best wishes.

 

[sincerely dead]

I feel like the trauma I've experienced is too deep to heal