More venting

[Simba]

I was going to write this last night but i ended up falling asleep but whatever.. maybe anyone here has some advice for me ?

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So i was talking to the guy im going out with on video and i feel ok and mammy comes in saying it's 1 o'clock at night n what not n to say goodbye etc. That made me kinda sad and i started to get thoughts in my mind of wanting to die and that im basically nothing.. Then after the call (its a little after 2 at night) she's in bed saying go brush teeth I'll be waking you up early tomorrow (she hasn't ,its 12:27AM right now) and thoughts came in again more ..

Just to clarify - i am 27yo. I know my mother cares about me n stuff but still. It makes me think that if i were a "normal" (NT) person then there wouldn't be as much issues n stuff ?

Even now she shouted get up out of bed that i talk all night on the phone and and it wasn't even all night

I said one day how i wanted to stay overnight at his place an she's like "i think it's too soon ... in a few months..." etc ,it makes me sad

I love him so much yet i feel like i can't really do everything ,like i have to tell my parents im going at this day X n stuff n then she wants me back early or before dark n stuff.. I'm not a teenager !

Don't get me wrong ,my parents are oks in general and nice.. I just thought maybe someone here has any advice or something of what to do ?

That's all.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

Some parents are just like this. I'm sorry for how it makes you feel.

 

[Simba]

Some parents are just like this. I'm sorry for how it makes you feel.

Is it cause im autistic tho ? I know i also said and what if my brother wanted to stay overnight if he had a gf bf or someone and and daddys like "no way" so mammy said to daddy to grow up.. And my brother is normal so idk

 

[Suicidebydeath]

Try not to worry about it and believe in yourself. How long have you been dating? Ultimately it's up to you, you're 27 which makes you an adult and can make your own decisions. You don't have to wait a couple of months.

Unfortunately your parents are in a better position than me to know the specifics of the relationship, so I can't say whether or not they're right. It's your decision either way.

My parents treat me the same way btw and I have a genius level IQ and NT other than c/PTSD from family mostly. My parents aren't kind though, you have a small blessing there. So it's not necessarily because you're autistic, some parents just be like that. I would never allow my parents to dictate my dating and I would be more likely to rebel against them anyway.

 

[Simba]

Try not to worry about it and believe in yourself. How long have you been dating? Ultimately it's up to you, you're 27 which makes you an adult and can make your own decisions. You don't have to wait a couple of months.

I am worried. Is dating and going out the same thing ? If it is then I think 03.11.2023 then. Its like i have to be this "good girl" person to them . Sometimes i feel like im 2 people like with my family/parents im 1 person and with other people or ppl i like im like someone else or something..

 

[todeswunsch]

I'm autistic too and I long for autonomy.
I used to live by myself, my parents had more limited control. But I'm back at their house as I couldn't take care of myself. Its shit
We know that our parents wants us the best, but being treated like child is terrible.
I hope you get out of this situation.
I'm happy that you find a guy you like and talk to.
Don't worry too much, most of what our mind leads us is trash. Just wait and see whats going on.

I wish you the best!

 

[Simba]

Unfortunately your parents are in a better position than me to know the specifics of the relationship, so I can't say whether or not they're right. It's your decision either way.

They don't know all the specifics ,she just knows that i like him too ,they should be thankful im not going out with someone who's mean like like my past bf

My parents treat me the same way btw and I have a genius level IQ and NT other than c/PTSD from family mostly. My parents aren't kind though, you have a small blessing there. So it's not necessarily because you're autistic, some parents just be like that. I would never allow my parents to dictate my dating and I would be more likely to rebel against them anyway.

Sorry to hear that. I hope they stop treating you like they know better n you don't.. I'd probably rebel or something of that eventually..

I'm autistic too and I long for autonomy.
I used to live by myself, my parents had more limited control. But I'm back at their house as I couldn't take care of myself. Its shit
We know that our parents wants us the best, but being treated like child is terrible.
I hope you get out of this situation.
I'm happy that you find a guy you like and talk to.
Don't worry too much, most of what our mind leads us is trash. Just wait and see whats going on.

I wish you the best!

Sorry to hear it didn't work out for you ,you lived in independent living or group home place too ?

I know.. Is not such as being treated as a child but more as youre 27 and is like idk you're a teen to them that not yet too soon n what not.. I bet my brother staying overnight someplace they'd be no bother at all .

Yes !! I really really like him and he likes me back too !!!

I'm still worried a bit but thankyou i i hope things will work out for you too !

 

[Suicidebydeath]

It's okay, I don't really talk to mine anymore, they've driven me away. I hope your new bf treats you better & differently than other people.

Re: going out, dating, etc. I don't know, it's never that complicated for me, supposedly dating is one step further than going out, and relationship is a step past that. I always seem to start at the "relationship" level. Basically you just want to be at that level anyway, you're faithful to each other etc, but I can't give the best advice there I only have my own experience to rely on.

Probably they are more worried he's going to take you away from them. You're an adult now, they should let you be free, and if they are good parents they should be there for you if you need them. Being autistic doesn't mean you're going to make bad decisions or that you don't know what is right for you. At least I don't think it does. If you get hurt and they blame it on the autism then just try to ignore and forgive them, getting hurt in relationships happens to everyone. Don't let the way they treat you get to you, you just have to believe in yourself. I think you know that your parents are just this way because they're trying to protect you, but it can be too much.

 

[todeswunsch]

Sorry to hear it didn't work out for you ,you lived in independent living or group home place too ?

I know.. Is not such as being treated as a child but more as youre 27 and is like idk you're a teen to them that not yet too soon n what not.. I bet my brother staying overnight someplace they'd be no bother at all .

Yes !! I really really like him and he likes me back too !!!

I'm still worried a bit but thankyou i i hope things will work out for you too !

I lived for about 6 years with some friends, and then 3 years by myself. It was mostly overwork stress that fked up my executive fuction. I hope I get back to be independent again.
I'm 28 but my parents treat me like a teen. I can't sleep on someone else house (not ever other boys). I can't get anyone home too.
My mum don't like to see me talking to other girls - unless they are perfect pure christian girls. Meh...

<3 Hope things go nice with him! Soon or later your parents will realise you may be autistic but not a child.
Its hard to find someone to connect to, so good luck with that boy!
I wish you the best!
Thank you <3

 

[Simba]

It's okay, I don't really talk to mine anymore, they've driven me away. I hope your new bf treats you better & differently than other people.

Re: going out, dating, etc. I don't know, it's never that complicated for me, supposedly dating is one step further than going out, and relationship is a step past that. I always seem to start at the "relationship" level. Basically you just want to be at that level anyway, you're faithful to each other etc, but I can't give the best advice there I only have my own experience to rely on.

Probably they are more worried he's going to take you away from them. You're an adult now, they should let you be free, and if they are good parents they should be there for you if you need them. Being autistic doesn't mean you're going to make bad decisions or that you don't know what is right for you. At least I don't think it does. If you get hurt and they blame it on the autism then just try to ignore and forgive them, getting hurt in relationships happens to everyone. Don't let the way they treat you get to you, you just have to believe in yourself. I think you know that your parents are just this way because they're trying to protect you, but it can be too much.

It feels too much at times ,she said to me like just awhile ago no more late phonecalls. why ? cause im still eating breakfast (just about finished) i said it has nothing to do with it and she says it has everything to do with it. All of this just makes me have more thoughts and want to die more it makes me sad :(

I lived for about 6 years with some friends, and then 3 years by myself. It was mostly overwork stress that fked up my executive fuction. I hope I get back to be independent again.
I'm 28 but my parents treat me like a teen. I can't sleep on someone else house (not ever other boys). I can't get anyone home too.
My mum don't like to see me talking to other girls - unless they are perfect pure christian girls. Meh...

<3 Hope things go nice with him! Soon or later your parents will realise you may be autistic but not a child.
Its hard to find someone to connect to, so good luck with that boy!
I wish you the best!
Thank you <3

"pure christian girls" im sorry but do they think we still live in the 50s ? You cant do stuff unless they're oks with it ,right ? And at the same time they're like we want you to be independent....

That reminds me that time accidentally said to the woman in the hospital office that i got down syndrome which i dont so i had to nudge him to correct him ..

Thankyou i hope things go well too

Also btw i forgot to mention that we're going out but not 100% couple yet ,just saying