hi everyone, im new here and this is my first post, ive been lurking since a couple of months and read many threads, from methods to general topics, and finally decided to signup and try get out of my bubble
i often open this site when my mind starts to sink into the abyss or when i feel the symptoms of a panic attack come, idk why but looking through posts, reading about someone else experiences, helps me distract from life and struggles and helps me calm down, i think its cause i feel not alone
i kinda feel bad for introducing myself with a vent thread
i suffer from a break up, it is a really complex dynamic and it would require me a really long text to explain cause i would like to say so many things about it, but in short after months of being together she came up with a "she didnt feel ready for a relation", and i was left there with my heart open
but im not writing this post to talk about it, this happened a month ago and beside having developed ctb thoughs im in the phase of trying to get over it
what i hate is the inconsistency of my state, i hate how my mood swings so drastically during the day
i can be so calm and focused in something like my job but then all the sudden a thought or a small memory can send me in deep sadness and depression
last night i was so hyped for a project ive been working on and for future uses of it, but today i cant care less, i just feel empty
doesnt matter how hard i try, i have already removed anything that can make think about it, it will happen in a way or another, also im not even sure if it is even related to her anymore, i just feel empty and without any purpose in life, nothing worth live for
inb4 someone might say, like in some other thread, i know that my suffering might be temporary and i shouldnt be here, but i felt the need to vent and i didnt want to bother my couple of friends (that know my situation) with more bs
i often open this site when my mind starts to sink into the abyss or when i feel the symptoms of a panic attack come, idk why but looking through posts, reading about someone else experiences, helps me distract from life and struggles and helps me calm down, i think its cause i feel not alone
i kinda feel bad for introducing myself with a vent thread
i suffer from a break up, it is a really complex dynamic and it would require me a really long text to explain cause i would like to say so many things about it, but in short after months of being together she came up with a "she didnt feel ready for a relation", and i was left there with my heart open
but im not writing this post to talk about it, this happened a month ago and beside having developed ctb thoughs im in the phase of trying to get over it
what i hate is the inconsistency of my state, i hate how my mood swings so drastically during the day
i can be so calm and focused in something like my job but then all the sudden a thought or a small memory can send me in deep sadness and depression
last night i was so hyped for a project ive been working on and for future uses of it, but today i cant care less, i just feel empty
doesnt matter how hard i try, i have already removed anything that can make think about it, it will happen in a way or another, also im not even sure if it is even related to her anymore, i just feel empty and without any purpose in life, nothing worth live for
inb4 someone might say, like in some other thread, i know that my suffering might be temporary and i shouldnt be here, but i felt the need to vent and i didnt want to bother my couple of friends (that know my situation) with more bs
