I told have talked to her about my suicidal thoughts many times and I have also joked about it but you can clearly see the difference when you hear my tone and the setting. When I'm serious about this issue it's obvious, I have cried about it too when I talked with my mom about suicide-she was sitting by my bed next to me and I was bawling talking which suicide and that was supposed to be a joke? Ugh I really don't get it, I open myself up, let myself be vulnerable and it's all a joke. I tried to let someone help me and understand me but today she told me she thought my previous talks about suicide we're just jokes and only today she realized I was being serious. I mean I'm glad she knows I'm being serious but it sucks that I can't be takes seriously at the first talk. What if I stopped trying to talk to her about it and i just ctbed earlier:/
I don't know the specifics, but there are some Pros and Cons, of which I'm sure you've already considered. Telling anyone who is this close to you puts pressure on them to act, so you might end up in a ward, at worst. If they are understanding, that's great, but that's all they can do - understand. I sincerely doubt she is going to do anything to stab at the heart of your problems, probably because she
can't or isn't willing to sacrifice enough to achieve results
. In my experience, it's always better to talk to someone who isn't close to you, but can provide some comfort, like a professional. But even then, you can't tell them certain things, else they'll feel the need to act. I think online help, like the kind you find here, is far better than anything I've ever seen. I know it's virtual and not personal, but there are literally MILLIONS more people to talk to, opening up the possibilities of personalities you can discover, and if you can put the face-to-face requirements behind you and just
feel them in a different way, it could work out.
