Molly and Survival Instinct

[Emerita]

I have a lot of molly I mean about 5 grams. I recently took some and I found while it didn't eliminate my SI in the traditional sense but as it alters perception and emotional responses, I felt at ease with ctb. I felt more empathy and love for people but in the way that wasn't I wanted to stay but I felt it was right to go. Though I have done molly an awful lot so I think that may have contributed to my reaction. I think I may use molly before I ctb for the warm fuzzy feeling, it makes me feel loved. I practiced hanging on it and went unconscious the only reason I haven't attempted for real is because my date isn't till later when my family won't find the body. I feel good about this, it should workout just fine. Originally I planned to use alcohol but that would require going to the liquor store and Im hiki so that was going to be difficult. Also I would like to note that I had impulsive attempt, I guess in a way… I tried jumping in front of a semi on molly plus I drank too in the past. It wasn't planned or anything and as I was going for it someone tackled me, it was kind of scary I didn't know anyone was around and I was a teenager so some guy tackling me during the night was not expected. Anyway Im wondering if anyone else knows or has had any experience with SI on molly? I just felt more at peace and like it wasn't a sad thing but a good thing and I felt just content or happy during it… attempts normally have felt like these deeply heavy moments of pain but the molly makes me feel like Im going out in a way that Im loved, I just feel loved on it, like someone hugging me before I go or holding me telling me it was okay.

 

[KillingPain267]

I feel the same but with ketamine, despite people promoting it as some kind of cure for suicidal ideation. In fact, ketamine feels like a near death experience.

 

[SchizoGymnast]

I have a lot of molly I mean about 5 grams. I recently took some and I found while it didn't eliminate my SI in the traditional sense but as it alters perception and emotional responses, I felt at ease with ctb. I felt more empathy and love for people but in the way that wasn't I wanted to stay but I felt it was right to go. Though I have done molly an awful lot so I think that may have contributed to my reaction. I think I may use molly before I ctb for the warm fuzzy feeling, it makes me feel loved. I practiced hanging on it and went unconscious the only reason I haven't attempted for real is because my date isn't till later when my family won't find the body. I feel good about this, it should workout just fine. Originally I planned to use alcohol but that would require going to the liquor store and Im hiki so that was going to be difficult. Also I would like to note that I had impulsive attempt, I guess in a way… I tried jumping in front of a semi on molly plus I drank too in the past. It wasn't planned or anything and as I was going for it someone tackled me, it was kind of scary I didn't know anyone was around and I was a teenager so some guy tackling me during the night was not expected. Anyway Im wondering if anyone else knows or has had any experience with SI on molly? I just felt more at peace and like it wasn't a sad thing but a good thing and I felt just content or happy during it… attempts normally have felt like these deeply heavy moments of pain but the molly makes me feel like Im going out in a way that Im loved, I just feel loved on it, like someone hugging me before I go or holding me telling me it was okay.

I have often said on here that when I go out I want to be on MDMA. I can't think of a better way.