modern day recluse (by choice) 4 years and counting.

[ever so lonely]

ok peeps so exactly what it says on the tin, anybody else a total shut in, i have realised it is for the best to not seek social ties, often they are fleeting and people come and go, often let downs, i havnt ventured out in months, and prior to that months again, shopping home delivered, bills paid online, out of work, so i work from home to supplement my meagre income, so you see i dont HAVE to interact, deleted every social account i had recently, to take up the reclusiveness a notch, insta facebook, twitter, snapchat, gone, so no online presence nomore, just a few dormant accounts i no longer have access to, thinking of deleting my account here too, is anybody else quite in the same boat, anybody else relate ?, like your just done with people man, not here per se, i mean in general like, like you dont dislike them just you cant be bothered with the usual trials and tribulations which most social interactions entail nowadays, the silly power dynamics, the same i am better than thou attitudes, which is of course rubbish, the false platitudes, cant be dealing with there constant need for mind games, with there pettyness anymore, just wanted to vent, i see sometimes this place isnt exempt from that, which is odd a suicidal safe haven of all places, i just wanted to post this to see if it resonated with anybody ?, or struck a chord or something, i plan to live this reclusive life till i either a) cbt, or b) till i die of natural causes, i was never cut out for this shit society, and even shittier life, throw peoples constant need for mind games into the mix and i am just so over it ?, is anybody here on a similar page ?, the same wavelength.

 

[whatevs]

I feel isolation to be completely painful and one of the main reasons I would kill mysel if I ever did so, so I don't relate at all. Even you yourself, with this thread and asking if anyone relates are showing a social need of sorts.

In theory with spiritual practice (heavy introspection, contemplation, intently trying to give up urges and desires that produce suffering) one could exist without any communication or exchange with others but that would probably be a brief interlude before leaving the material realm.

I think everything is connected to something else and at some level it will always be a reality that we are exchanging 'energy' or that we are 'linked' with someone or something. In the human realm this takes a very urgent and easily lethal need for an exchange of stories, opinions and ideas.

I do hear you in that I also loathe the mind games and hierarquical dances that will always occur when dealing with other humans, but being or feeling alone is definitely why I became a regular of a suicide forum, so the hermit plan sounds insane to me, to be completely honest. I'm always trying to reach out to others in an attempt to repair my life.

 

[ever so lonely]

thanks for your view points and opinions man i don't mind approaching it from a different angle, it is always cool to weigh up how others see isolation and loneliness, thanks for your input dude

 

[jodes2]

I'm living a very reclusive life, started 20 years ago. I can't make connections with anyone, socializing is just work and anxiety often, especially in places with normies

 

[CatLover]

Before covid, during the lockdowns and for some time after that I did not go out at all or meet people in person, I would do zoom meetings with a select few people a few times a week and that was it. Recently deleted my social media too, but it was more that Farcebook just kept banning me for the most ridiculous things and I got fed up with it, I liked the cat groups on there and the memes made me laugh.
I've always struggled with relationships, whether social or romantic, or whatever. I have been wondering recently if it's the autism. People often say I'm 'too depressing' and should 'just cheer up a bit' but I don't see the point in pretending the world is a wonderful place when it is horrific.
I've been reading a lot about autism and one thing I just read said that autistic people don't get the same 'reward' from social contact that neuro-typical people do and it often actually causes them damage and hurt. It's certainly not the dead cert that people seem to make it out to be - that by mixing you will feel better and happier and make friends etc. Sometimes I end up getting annoyed and have arguments or get misunderstood or bullied. I'm weird, I get it, so I've been thinking maybe I'd be better off just socialising with other autistic people. The trouble is, it's a wide spectrum and autistic people are just as 'different' as any other kind of people and recently I have had to give up on a friend who confuses me by constantly lying about things. I thought autistic people generally didn't lie so I found it especially confusing when coming from 'one of us'.
Don't knwo what the answer is, I think I'd get bored if I cut out social interaction completely and I haven't completely given up on having friends etc but I am very, very careful these days as to who I pick to spend time with. I've ditched most of my family, for example, as they just always made me feel bad and treated me like an idiot despite the fact I've lived independently all my adult life, all over the world, so I can't be THAT stupid.
I get what you say about people always needing to feel better than others as well. I've noticed that too and it pisses me off so much. Like it's not enough for someone to do something because they enjoy it, they have to somehow make it that doing that thing makes them a better person than someone who doesn't. Even serial killers in prison feel like they're better than the child murderers, the child murderers feel like they're better than the child molesters etc. It's nonsense, everyone sucks.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Sounds normal to me. Even before I became ill, I felt I had to sacrifice too much of who I am just to hang out with people I wasn't super enamored with, doing things I didn't particularly love. I'd always feel this emptiness inside, even in a room full of people. My last "real" friendship was in university (outside of my romantic relationships).

Then once my condition took hold at age 30, the last inclinations of trying went out the window.

As you get older you find that you're kind of naturally over all the bullshit anyway, so in my case it was sort of a perfect storm of eventually wanting to be mostly alone.

Whatever I do now is either something I'm obligated to do, or else would feel guilty if I didn't go. Very occasionally I have a "I've just got to get out of the house and talk to people" moment but they're few and far between.

 

[hunterfla]

ok peeps so exactly what it says on the tin, anybody else a total shut in, i have realised it is for the best to not seek social ties, often they are fleeting and people come and go, often let downs, i havnt ventured out in months, and prior to that months again, shopping home delivered, bills paid online, out of work, so i work from home to supplement my meagre income, so you see i dont HAVE to interact, deleted every social account i had recently, to take up the reclusiveness a notch, insta facebook, twitter, snapchat, gone, so no online presence nomore, just a few dormant accounts i no longer have access to, thinking of deleting my account here too, is anybody else quite in the same boat, anybody else relate ?, like your just done with people man, not here per se, i mean in general like, like you dont dislike them just you cant be bothered with the usual trials and tribulations which most social interactions entail nowadays, the silly power dynamics, the same i am better than thou attitudes, which is of course rubbish, the false platitudes, cant be dealing with there constant need for mind games, with there pettyness anymore, just wanted to vent, i see sometimes this place isnt exempt from that, which is odd a suicidal safe haven of all places, i just wanted to post this to see if it resonated with anybody ?, or struck a chord or something, i plan to live this reclusive life till i either a) cbt, or b) till i die of natural causes, i was never cut out for this shit society, and even shittier life, throw peoples constant need for mind games into the mix and i am just so over it ?, is anybody here on a similar page ?, the same wavelength.

If you want to chat via here, snap, text, call, just lmk. :)