Mixed messages from therapist

[darknesscomesquick]

Today I have a therapy appt with my usual therapist. She hasn't been around for a couple of weeks, and has only heard about my SN purchase from the "well-meaning"prolifers that make up the treatment team. Her ultimatum to me was if I purchased means or tried anything or got myself in a hospital, she wouldn't see me anymore. Well, I did all 3…purchased SN with the thought to actually attempt and I was welfare checked and spent a few hours in the psych er. So now I'll get to spend an hour explaining myself and I know they want me to beg for mercy and to still be seen, but I'm honestly not feeling it. I don't know if I want to do this anymore. The trauma work is exhausting and excruciating. I'm tired of being face to face with the fact my life fucking sucks.

I'm pretty anxious about this appt…I also don't like people getting all righteous with me, especially when it comes to my mental health. I don't have a lot to live for. I am tired and I just want things to stop. Permanently.

 

[Xaeniak]

I'm sorry you're struggling, friend. As to what to do with your therapist, I absolutely wouldn't beg forgiveness. A good therapist is meant to meet you where you're at, and if yours is offering ultimatums like that, I'd look into finding somebody else to work with.

It's possible it was just a threat to keep you from going through with anything, which, while shitty in itself, doesn't mean an automatically useless therapist. I'd go to your next appointment, see what their response is, and whether they follow through on that threat. If they do, and you want to make them squirm, ask them if that means they're denying you treatment. I'm not sure if that only works with doctors, or therapists too, but it opens up a whole world of legal trouble for them if they're refusing legitimate cases

 

[darknesscomesquick]

I'm sorry you're struggling, friend. As to what to do with your therapist, I absolutely wouldn't beg forgiveness. A good therapist is meant to meet you where you're at, and if yours is offering ultimatums like that, I'd look into finding somebody else to work with.

It's possible it was just a threat to keep you from going through with anything, which, while shitty in itself, doesn't mean an automatically useless therapist. I'd go to your next appointment, see what their response is, and whether they follow through on that threat. If they do, and you want to make them squirm, ask them if that means they're denying you treatment. I'm not sure if that only works with doctors, or therapists too, but it opens up a whole world of legal trouble for them if they're refusing legitimate cases

If her threat is empty, do I really want to work with her? Will I just be a case that defines her career? Am I becoming someone she can write up in an academic article? I don't think I want to be defined as that. It makes me feel like I am my problems and issues.

I did leave out the best Part of this fiasco…my husband has a friend in his church group who is also a psychiatrist. He decided after 2 yrs of not talking to me to reach out and insert himself into my treatment team. My psychiatrist discussed with him how to get me to stay long term in a hospital. Can you say HIPPAA violation on the psychiatrist's part and a MAJOR boundary violation on the friend part? Even better, my husband told his small group from church about my mental health and trauma history. These are people who I don't even hang around. The friend texted me to tell me husband was divulging everything but refused to stop him, saying the husband needed a space to vent and ask for prayer…it's fucking nuts and so many privacy violations. This is the other part of why I'm just done. Let me go to sleep permanently already!

 

[Xaeniak]

YEEEESH, yeah, okay, I'd stop seeing that person immediately, and possibly contact a lawyer about breach of confidentiality, if that's a path you're willing to go down.

I'm not sure if that beats my friend's story about his therapist saying he needed an exorcism, but it's definitely up there >>

 

[darknesscomesquick]

YEEEESH, yeah, okay, I'd stop seeing that person immediately, and possibly contact a lawyer about breach of confidentiality, if that's a path you're willing to go down.

I'm not sure if that beats my friend's story about his therapist saying he needed an exorcism, but it's definitely up there >>

No, doesn't beat a good exorcism, that's for sure. Willing to take the #2 spot behind that…lucky for me Presbyterians aren't really exorcism-type people. They are just a little too prolife in situations that don't call for it and then feel self-righteous about themselves. I fucking hate religion in all forms.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

What kind of horrible treatment is this here?! I doubt that this will help your MH in any case. I'm sorry you have to go through this. I hope you find peace.

 

[Blue Elephant]

Today I have a therapy appt with my usual therapist. She hasn't been around for a couple of weeks, and has only heard about my SN purchase from the "well-meaning"prolifers that make up the treatment team. Her ultimatum to me was if I purchased means or tried anything or got myself in a hospital, she wouldn't see me anymore. Well, I did all 3…purchased SN with the thought to actually attempt and I was welfare checked and spent a few hours in the psych er. So now I'll get to spend an hour explaining myself and I know they want me to beg for mercy and to still be seen, but I'm honestly not feeling it. I don't know if I want to do this anymore. The trauma work is exhausting and excruciating. I'm tired of being face to face with the fact my life fucking sucks.

I'm pretty anxious about this appt…I also don't like people getting all righteous with me, especially when it comes to my mental health. I don't have a lot to live for. I am tired and I just want things to stop. Permanently.

Hmm.. isn't what she's doing emotional blackmail?