Venting Missing a Partner

[Inactive User]

Today I'm mostly missing my ex fiancé. He broke up with my after realizing he did not want to be with a post op trans guy. I used to cry in his arms and beg him to let me CTB. Now that he's gone I feel empty again, and I jump between CTB and begging him to love me. If I was still with him I don't think I'd ever want to CTB again. I still don't know if there is more for me here or if my past (detailed in another post) will make everything too painful. If anyone feels the same way, or is missing someone, feel free to post in the thread or chat with me

 

[meatfleshprison]

I totally get how you feel. My boyfriend of almost 4 years left me in this past month and it is truly the most gutting, empty feeling. I hope you know you're not alone in this experience and that there's love all around. From one trans man to another, you are incredible and I hope you can find the solution to the turmoil you're feeling.

 

[Inactive User]

I totally get how you feel. My boyfriend of almost 4 years left me in this past month and it is truly the most gutting, empty feeling. I hope you know you're not alone in this experience and that there's love all around. From one trans man to another, you are incredible and I hope you can find the solution to the turmoil you're feeling.

That means so much to me, and everything likewise! Thank you so much for sharing and replying

 

[Octavia]

Being true to ourselves sometimes mean that the way other people perceive us would change, unfortunately…

 

[XWonderX]

I knew that my ex has helped me alot through out the relationship, and still keep up with my personal health for his "sake" even tho we are completely cut off from each other now. It was a toxic relationship but I had taken things to the next level and became emotional abusive. The break up aspect was a mutual decision but after sometime of reflection and recognizing the damage I have done to him. I dont think I can ever forgive myself for how I treated him, and even know I dont know what to do as he was also my lifeline pretty much.
(sorry for rambling dont have much places to go express that part of that relationship and now)

 

[AkaRed]

So sorry to hear things went the way they did. Sending you so much support- you can do this!
<3

 

[Inactive User]

Being true to ourselves sometimes mean that the way other people perceive us would change, unfortunately…

I've actually been out since 13, so he knew me only as a guy

I knew that my ex has helped me alot through out the relationship, and still keep up with my personal health for his "sake" even tho we are completely cut off from each other now. It was a toxic relationship but I had taken things to the next level and became emotional abusive. The break up aspect was a mutual decision but after sometime of reflection and recognizing the damage I have done to him. I dont think I can ever forgive myself for how I treated him, and even know I dont know what to do as he was also my lifeline pretty much.
(sorry for rambling dont have much places to go express that part of that relationship and now)

You will always have a place to share here, you never have to apologize for that. I hope you are able to heal in due time

 

[laas]

Im missing my ex boyfriend too. We broke up a couple weeks ago after he tried to cbt. While he was in hospital i realized he was cheating on me. It was pretty rough for me. But even the fact that he cheated doesnt realy bother me i still love him so much and switchin my moods too from thinking of cbt to begging him for love its a hard time rn.

But at the moment im trying to just work on myself, would recommend to you doing the same its just so good for your mental health. Like i started to go to the gym a week ago and everything got a little better.

BTW sorry for my bad english im from germany

 

[Octavia]

I've actually been out since 13, so he knew me only as a guy

You will always have a place to share here, you never have to apologize for that. I hope you are able to heal in due time

Oh wow, did you manage to prevent first puberty? That is very cool if so.

And I know that it might be painful to lose someone you have known for so long, but there are a lot of people in the world so he was not necessarily your soulmate. Who knows, you might even find a better partner :)

 

[Inactive User]

Oh wow, did you manage to prevent first puberty? That is very cool if so.

And I know that it might be painful to lose someone you have known for so long, but there are a lot of people in the world so he was not necessarily your soulmate. Who knows, you might even find a better partner :)

I hope I do! Unfortunately I couldn't start testosterone until 18 due to unsupportive and parents, but I did very much want to from early on

 

[Das Nichts]

I knew that my ex has helped me alot through out the relationship, and still keep up with my personal health for his "sake" even tho we are completely cut off from each other now. It was a toxic relationship but I had taken things to the next level and became emotional abusive. The break up aspect was a mutual decision but after sometime of reflection and recognizing the damage I have done to him. I dont think I can ever forgive myself for how I treated him, and even know I dont know what to do as he was also my lifeline pretty much.
(sorry for rambling dont have much places to go express that part of that relationship and now)

While my situation is a bit different i know how guilt eats you up from the inside.

There is no escape, at least for me.