Misconduct by morgue workers

[whydidthishappen]

I'm sure many of you know the sexual misconduct and general misconduct of morgue workers. There have been several in the UK and Us in recent years. Apart from the disgust I feel towards this matter I am wondering how to take preventative measures even if I won't be there for them.

I specifically want my body cremated- however, my family is notorious for not listening to me. Even if I put it in my suicide note, I'm not sure it would be taken into account, even if funds are put aside.
How do I ensure that my body doesn't get raped by some man who is putting me back into the earth as worm food? Should I also specify that in my suicide note? Dear

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Personally, I've never heard of this before. This is really sick. I have heard of funeral homes not burying bodies, or not having remains cremated, and then just giving the family any ashes and telling them it's their loved ones. We had a funeral home near me (US) disovered with multiple bodies hidden on their premises. But, what you're talking about takes their misconduct to a completely different level.

I think you need to have your wishes memorialized in a legal will, not just a note.

 

[MyTimeIsUp]

I would've thought they will do an autopsy, because it'll be unexplained and will want to ensure the cause of death is accurate? I'm not entirely sure. Personally, I don't think there is any possible way of avoiding being raped while dead.

However, I am thinking while typing this.. could you leave a note detailing exactly what you did? That would help, but they still might want to run some tests to be sure.

You could sort your own funeral out? That way, it won't be changed. It is your choice, your body. You will have complete control over it, as you should, and it'll all be planned out and fully paid for. I would do this if I had the funds.

At the same time, you'll be dead and it won't matter to you.

There's always a risk in life or death that some sick fuck bloke will sexually assault you in some way.

Let's be honest, most of them are that way inclined, because they enjoy power and control over a girl/woman, and believe we are the weaker sex, which isn't true, of course, but that is what they believe, probably because society caters to their wants, needs and desires.

I hope no one gets raped or sexually assaulted in death, but I know it has happened, and I have no doubt that like in life, it will continue to happen. There's always that sick fuck out there that slips through the cracks.

Good luck with your plans

 

[whydidthishappen]

Personally, I've never heard of this before. This is really sick. I have heard of funeral homes not burying bodies, or not having remains cremated, and then just giving the family any ashes and telling them it's their loved ones. We had a funeral home near me (US) disovered with multiple bodies hidden on their premises. But, what you're talking about takes their misconduct to a completely different level.

I think you need to have your wishes memorialized in a legal will, not just a note.

Locked & loaded- you wouldn't be the first who hasn't heard of it. I hadn't until I typed it into my meta bot. Just another notch in losing my faith in humanity.

My ex reached out to me last night, concerned for me and telling me how we can't even die in peace because of how society is set up and structured so that there are no consequences for someone to rape a corpse. In the US (where I am as well) there was a recent case of this in Ohio. Although it's probably rare, it's still something that's concerning! Let the dead be at peace for heaven sake.

What kind of lawyer would I need to contact for this kind of thing?

I would've thought they will do an autopsy, because it'll be unexplained and will want to ensure the cause of death is accurate? I'm not entirely sure. Personally, I don't think there is any possible way of avoiding being raped while dead.

However, I am thinking while typing this.. could you leave a note detailing exactly what you did? That would help, but they still might want to run some tests to be sure.

You could sort your own funeral out? That way, it won't be changed. It is your choice, your body. You will have complete control over it, as you should, and it'll all be planned out and fully paid for. I would do this if I had the funds.

At the same time, you'll be dead and it won't matter to you.

There's always a risk in life or death that some sick fuck bloke will sexually assault you in some way.

Let's be honest, most of them are that way inclined, because they enjoy power and control over a girl/woman, and believe we are the weaker sex, which isn't true, of course, but that is what they believe, probably because society caters to their wants, needs and desires.

I hope no one gets raped or sexually assaulted in death, but I know it has happened, and I have no doubt that like in life, it will continue to happen. There's always that sick fuck out there that slips through the cracks.

Good luck with your plans

Ugh. Yes, I could absolutely detail it for preventative measure. Yes, I know I will be dead, it's just the principle that it COULD happen, as you mentioned. Risk of just existing here. What a world so much darkness. Thank you for your thoughts.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Maybe you could just opt for ctbing in a remote area where nobody would likely find your body instead? Can't rape what you can't find.

I personally don't really give a shit about what happens to my body after I die since, of course, I'll be dead. Not like anything anyone does to my body can traumatize me at that point.

 

[divinemistress36]

@mehdone

 

[whydidthishappen]

Maybe you could just opt for ctbing in a remote area where nobody would likely find your body instead? Can't rape what you can't find.

I personally don't really give a shit about what happens to my body after I die since, of course, I'll be dead. Not like anything anyone does to my body can traumatize me at that point.

I get that. Peace out cremate me and throw me into the ocean.

I feel like even in the wild there's…..things I know how paranoid I sound but it's just the principle alone that irks me. As a woman I've already been raped twice while unconscious I don't want it happening AGAIN to my rotting corpse. Ffffffs

Maybe you could just opt for ctbing in a remote area where nobody would likely find your body instead? Can't rape what you can't find.

I personally don't really give a shit about what happens to my body after I die since, of course, I'll be dead. Not like anything anyone does to my body can traumatize me at that point.

Oh I don't know if I would go that far though….there's things and it can always get worse.

 

[rozeske]

It's not a common thing and I don't believe it's something you need to worry much about. I think the reality in the field is much different than what is insinuated. I don't believe morticians are out there raping the dead but I understand your concern. A similar question was asked on a Ask a mortician thread, it won't let me quote the answer given for some reason, you'll find it on the first page but the whole thread is worth a read.

 

[CatLvr]

Any career field that we have traditionally trusted to do the right thing (medical, law enforcement, after death care, teaching/child care) and draws the best of who want to help, also draws the worst of us.

Also, while men have traditionally been considered the perpetrators of these atrocities, women are not only capable, but do indulge in perversions every bit as bad. Or, in my mind, worse. Probably because my mother was one of those women.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Locked & loaded- you wouldn't be the first who hasn't heard of it. I hadn't until I typed it into my meta bot. Just another notch in losing my faith in humanity.

My ex reached out to me last night, concerned for me and telling me how we can't even die in peace because of how society is set up and structured so that there are no consequences for someone to rape a corpse. In the US (where I am as well) there was a recent case of this in Ohio. Although it's probably rare, it's still something that's concerning! Let the dead be at peace for heaven sake.

What kind of lawyer would I need to contact for this kind of thing?

Ugh. Yes, I could absolutely detail it for preventative measure. Yes, I know I will be dead, it's just the principle that it COULD happen, as you mentioned. Risk of just existing here. What a world so much darkness. Thank you for your thoughts.

Family law atty.

 

[SketchTurner]

In the UK - funeral wishes stated in suicide notes or wills have no authority. You do not have legally binding control over your corpse. The executor of your will is in control and pre-paid funerals etc can be cancelled.

Things are hard if you do not have someone you can trust.
You can pay for a solicitor to write your will and make them the sole executor, and you would have to pay for "estate administration services" to which they do the actual work as the executor, with instruction to exclude family input. And finding a lawyer who would fight over it is hard I think.

But, this also relies on your executor getting the information about your death and doing their job before family gets to your body. If they don't know, the family can normally get your body discharged. Unless your family are really obsessed having it pre-paid and estate planning services probably would stop them.

Suicides would normally go to a coroner so a suicide note saying inform my executor for my body may be respected by the coroner/police.

Having a friend who is down as your next of kin and executor, who will go to the hospital and say look I am the sole executor in the will, or say the solicitor is the executor, is also an option.

Having family disagree and argue after a death you see a lot of weirdness in different peoples rights. A lot of the law is only about property. In other countries it will probably be different, maybe not so much though.

 

[whydidthishappen]

Any career field that we have traditionally trusted to do the right thing (medical, law enforcement, after death care, teaching/child care) and draws the best of who want to help, also draws the worst of us.

Also, while men have traditionally been considered the perpetrators of these atrocities, women are not only capable, but do indulge in perversions every bit as bad. Or, in my mind, worse. Probably because my mother was one of those women.

Do you care to go Into that? I would assume it's a much lower percentage. Men generally have a monopoly on forceful sexual violence.

 

[CatLvr]

Do you care to go Into that? I would assume it's a much lower percentage. Men generally have a monopoly on forceful sexual violence.

Oh, for sure men have the monopoly when it comes to the use of force -- sexual or not. Women tend to be much more manipulative, but are not above using force. Additionally female on male violence (i.e., domestic violence) tends to be underreported due to societal stereotypes.

I was not trying to imply that women and men are equal when it comes to violence, and sexual violence specifically, only that women are, indeed, capable of such acts, and that women committing these acts is on the rise. Or the reporting of such crimes is on the rise.

It's kinda hard to know which, though I tend to believe it is due to both facts -- women are more prone to violent acts now they have been before and men and their families and friends are much more likely to report a female attacking a male now than in other time periods in recent history.

 

[MyTimeIsUp]

Oh, for sure men have the monopoly when it comes to the use of force -- sexual or not. Women tend to be much more manipulative, but are not above using force. Additionally female on male violence (i.e., domestic violence) tends to be underreported due to societal stereotypes.

I was not trying to imply that women and men are equal when it comes to violence, and sexual violence specifically, only that women are, indeed, capable of such acts, and that women committing these acts is on the rise. Or the reporting of such crimes is on the rise.

It's kinda hard to know which, though I tend to believe it is due to both facts -- women are more prone to violent acts now they have been before and men and their families and friends are much more likely to report a female attacking a male now than in other time periods in recent history.

Women are more manipulative? Really? Yet the amount of women that are controlled by men, and killed by men on a weekly basis would suggest otherwise. Coercion requires manipulation skills. Very good manipulation skills at that.

Yes, women can be perpetrators too, but it is no where near as common as you are implying here. Don't try to convince others otherwise. The statistics on male perpetrated violence suggests otherwise. Girls and women are not safe at night. A woman or girl is not going to over power and a rape a man/boy at night, or shout sexual comments, sexualising everything about them. That is manipulative. Women are seen in society as fragile individuals, incapable of caring for themselves. Again, this is manipulative and causes many issues for us in society. Do not tell me it doesn't. If it wasn't for the suffragettes, we wouldn't even have the right to vote.

Men have the physical advantage here, not women. Men are naturally manipulative, violent creatures, because they like to control us in order for them to feel manly.

Most women/girls do NOT REPORT. Imagine how high it would be if they did? Or if the piece of shit was actually punished for it? Or the women that go missing and decades later, oh wow.. the husband killed her, what a surprise (not).

Don't try to convince me it is 50/50, because it is NOT, nor will it ever be. Ever. Why were charities invented for women being abused? Why are there MANY refuges out there? I am speaking facts. Do a simple Google for fuck sake. What a load of shite you are talking.

Unfortunately, I don't know ONE woman I've met that hasn't been assaulted in one way by a man. Not one. Every single one of my girl friends I have had over the years have been raped by a man. Numerous times. Men think they can do this, women do not. Again, yes women can be perpetrators but it is NOT common

Can't believe this actually ended up as a debate over domestic violence. What on earth? Because you didn't like the fact that I mentioned male perpetrators, because the OP mentioned it. That is the only reason I mentioned it, and you just HAD to mention women in there, like that statement that people like to make -'nOt aLL mEn' (ridiculous)

This really got my back up, and I apologise for this, but I'm sure you would feel the same as a woman, and implying men have it JUST AS TOUGH, which they NEVER will.

I won't be responding further, because honestly, this is so triggering. And one of the reasons don't report - 'she's so manipulative' 'she's crazy' 'she's hysterical' - you use the typical words police forces believe from perps and I'm not going there.

My emotions really got the better of me here. My writing is terrible, but honestly, I don't care at this point, but I do care what impact it may have on the OP and I apologise for this, I'm sorry but I cannot sit there and take that

A man is likely to rape a corpse, yes.

 

[CatLvr]

Women are more manipulative? Really? Yet the amount of women that are controlled by men, and killed by men on a weekly basis would suggest otherwise. Coercion requires manipulation skills. Very good manipulation skills at that.

Yes, women can be perpetrators too, but it is no where near as common as you are implying here. Don't try to convince others otherwise. The statistics on male perpetrated violence suggests otherwise. Girls and women are not safe at night. A woman or girl is not going to over power and a rape a man/boy at night, or shout sexual comments, sexualising everything about them. That is manipulative. Women are seen in society as fragile individuals, incapable of caring for themselves. Again, this is manipulative and causes many issues for us in society. Do not tell me it doesn't. If it wasn't for the suffragettes, we wouldn't even have the right to vote.

Men have the physical advantage here, not women. Men are naturally manipulative, violent creatures, because they like to control us in order for them to feel manly.

Most women/girls do NOT REPORT. Imagine how high it would be if they did? Or if the piece of shit was actually punished for it? Or the women that go missing and decades later, oh wow.. the husband killed her, what a surprise (not).

Don't try to convince me it is 50/50, because it is NOT, nor will it ever be. Ever. Why were charities invented for women being abused? Why are there MANY refuges out there? I am speaking facts. Do a simple Google for fuck sake. What a load of shite you are talking.

Unfortunately, I don't know ONE woman I've met that hasn't been assaulted in one way by a man. Not one. Every single one of my girl friends I have had over the years have been raped by a man. Numerous times. Men think they can do this, women do not. Again, yes women can be perpetrators but it is NOT common

Can't believe this actually ended up as a debate over domestic violence. What on earth? Because you didn't like the fact that I mentioned male perpetrators, because the OP mentioned it. That is the only reason I mentioned it, and you just HAD to mention women in there, like that statement that people like to make -'nOt aLL mEn' (ridiculous)

This really got my back up, and I apologise for this, but I'm sure you would feel the same as a woman, and implying men have it JUST AS TOUGH, which they NEVER will.

I won't be responding further, because honestly, this is so triggering. And one of the reasons don't report - 'she's so manipulative' 'she's crazy' 'she's hysterical' - you use the typical words police forces believe from perps and I'm not going there.

My emotions really got the better of me here. My writing is terrible, but honestly, I don't care at this point, but I do care what impact it may have on the OP and I apologise for this, I'm sorry but I cannot sit there and take that

A man is likely to rape a corpse, yes.

I believe if you will look at my first comment I freely admitted that my take on this matter is most likely colored by the fact my abuser was a woman. And like I also said, it has been years since I needed any of the research on this matter.

 

[whydidthishappen]

In the UK - funeral wishes stated in suicide notes or wills have no authority. You do not have legally binding control over your corpse. The executor of your will is in control and pre-paid funerals etc can be cancelled.

Things are hard if you do not have someone you can trust.
You can pay for a solicitor to write your will and make them the sole executor, and you would have to pay for "estate administration services" to which they do the actual work as the executor, with instruction to exclude family input. And finding a lawyer who would fight over it is hard I think.

But, this also relies on your executor getting the information about your death and doing their job before family gets to your body. If they don't know, the family can normally get your body discharged. Unless your family are really obsessed having it pre-paid and estate planning services probably would stop them.

Suicides would normally go to a coroner so a suicide note saying inform my executor for my body may be respected by the coroner/police.

Having a friend who is down as your next of kin and executor, who will go to the hospital and say look I am the sole executor in the will, or say the solicitor is the executor, is also an option.

Having family disagree and argue after a death you see a lot of weirdness in different peoples rights. A lot of the law is only about property. In other countries it will probably be different, maybe not so much though.

This was very informative thank you. I will have to look into family law here in the states.

I have the funds to allocate to a cremation service. I just don't know how much my family will respect my wishes. As they haven't most of my life. But it's my body…. it's the least they could do.

Women are more manipulative? Really? Yet the amount of women that are controlled by men, and killed by men on a weekly basis would suggest otherwise. Coercion requires manipulation skills. Very good manipulation skills at that.

Yes, women can be perpetrators too, but it is no where near as common as you are implying here. Don't try to convince others otherwise. The statistics on male perpetrated violence suggests otherwise. Girls and women are not safe at night. A woman or girl is not going to over power and a rape a man/boy at night, or shout sexual comments, sexualising everything about them. That is manipulative. Women are seen in society as fragile individuals, incapable of caring for themselves. Again, this is manipulative and causes many issues for us in society. Do not tell me it doesn't. If it wasn't for the suffragettes, we wouldn't even have the right to vote.

Men have the physical advantage here, not women. Men are naturally manipulative, violent creatures, because they like to control us in order for them to feel manly.

Most women/girls do NOT REPORT. Imagine how high it would be if they did? Or if the piece of shit was actually punished for it? Or the women that go missing and decades later, oh wow.. the husband killed her, what a surprise (not).

Don't try to convince me it is 50/50, because it is NOT, nor will it ever be. Ever. Why were charities invented for women being abused? Why are there MANY refuges out there? I am speaking facts. Do a simple Google for fuck sake. What a load of shite you are talking.

Unfortunately, I don't know ONE woman I've met that hasn't been assaulted in one way by a man. Not one. Every single one of my girl friends I have had over the years have been raped by a man. Numerous times. Men think they can do this, women do not. Again, yes women can be perpetrators but it is NOT common

Can't believe this actually ended up as a debate over domestic violence. What on earth? Because you didn't like the fact that I mentioned male perpetrators, because the OP mentioned it. That is the only reason I mentioned it, and you just HAD to mention women in there, like that statement that people like to make -'nOt aLL mEn' (ridiculous)

This really got my back up, and I apologise for this, but I'm sure you would feel the same as a woman, and implying men have it JUST AS TOUGH, which they NEVER will.

I won't be responding further, because honestly, this is so triggering. And one of the reasons don't report - 'she's so manipulative' 'she's crazy' 'she's hysterical' - you use the typical words police forces believe from perps and I'm not going there.

My emotions really got the better of me here. My writing is terrible, but honestly, I don't care at this point, but I do care what impact it may have on the OP and I apologise for this, I'm sorry but I cannot sit there and take that

A man is likely to rape a corpse, yes.

That's ok! I completely understand the frustration It's one of the reasons why I even wrote the thread so don't feel bad about it.

Oh, for sure men have the monopoly when it comes to the use of force -- sexual or not. Women tend to be much more manipulative, but are not above using force. Additionally female on male violence (i.e., domestic violence) tends to be underreported due to societal stereotypes.

I was not trying to imply that women and men are equal when it comes to violence, and sexual violence specifically, only that women are, indeed, capable of such acts, and that women committing these acts is on the rise. Or the reporting of such crimes is on the rise.

It's kinda hard to know which, though I tend to believe it is due to both facts -- women are more prone to violent acts now they have been before and men and their families and friends are much more likely to report a female attacking a male now than in other time periods in recent history.

Uhh….well, ok. Sure. But this is very specifically about morgue workers committing this kind of act. All of them have been sick men…