Discussion mental preparation for CTB

[emma99]

I was just wondering what are the views people have on mentally preparing yourself for CTB.

I know the resources section has links to books of how to physically prepare yourself.
But mentally preparing yourself is a whole other kettle of fish.
and in many ways is actually a bigger challenge than the physical preparation.

I mean ya, if you want to be bitter and stubborn.
then you can be bold and just get it over with.

But the aim of the CTB books is to provide the most physically peaceful way to CTB.
So I believe equally that it is as important if not more important
to mentally settle all your anguishing and misery and allow yourself
to come to terms with what your about to do.

I mean why would you want your last moment to be mentally painful?

 

[UnluckyYogi]

I was just wondering what are the views people have on mentally preparing yourself for CTB.

I know the resources section has links to books of how to physically prepare yourself.
But mentally preparing yourself is a whole other kettle of fish.
and in many ways is actually a bigger challenge than the physical preparation.

I mean ya, if you want to be bitter and stubborn.
then you can be bold and just get it over with.

But the aim of the CTB books is to provide the most physically peaceful way to CTB.
So I believe equally that it is as important if not more important
to mentally settle all your anguishing and misery and allow yourself
to come to terms with what your about to do.

I mean why would you want your last moment to be mentally painful?

It's indeed an aspect that needs an attention.
It's easy to talk about committing suicide theoretically, but it's not that simple when you are about to take action.
I prepared and planned everything, but I already see myself struggling.
You need to have a very good reason to CTB.

 

[emma99]

It's indeed an aspect that needs an attention.
It's easy to talk about committing suicide theoretically, but it's not that simple when you are about to take action.
I prepared and planned everything, but I already see myself struggling.
You need to have a very good reason to CTB.

I think there needs to be a dedicated mega thread of this topic.

 

[dreamcatcher90]

It's indeed an aspect that needs an attention.
It's easy to talk about committing suicide theoretically, but it's not that simple when you are about to take action.
I prepared and planned everything, but I already see myself struggling.
You need to have a very good reason to CTB.

Give yourself some time. If you're well prepared you can exit this life anytime. you don't need to do it now, life can change. it's always ups and downs. I really hope that the quality of your life will improve and you won't need to ctb.

 

[UnluckyYogi]

Give yourself some time. If you're well prepared you can exit this life anytime. you don't need to do it now, life can change. it's always ups and downs. I really hope that the quality of your life will improve and you won't need to ctb.

It's all planned, but that doesn't mean I gonna CTB now.
I'm giving life a chance, even after getting brain damage.
I will CTB if I won't recover at all.

 

[dreamcatcher90]

It's all planned, but that doesn't mean I gonna CTB now.
I'm giving life a chance, even after getting brain damage.
I will CTB if I won't recover at all.

Recovery from antipsychotics takes lots of time. But it gets better. I sincerely hope that you won't practice kundalini anymore.. it seems like you always get hospitalized afterwards. Rememeber, you are loved and random people from the internet care about you. there's hope for you an me and many others.

 

[emma99]

Give yourself some time. If you're well prepared you can exit this life anytime. you don't need to do it now, life can change. it's always ups and downs. I really hope that the quality of your life will improve and you won't need to ctb.

Thankyou.

In some ways i have been finding how to gain peace with whats to come.
But i was struggling with it for the last few weeks,
and iv also seen other people on this site go through
the same process.

Iv seen alot of ignorant comments aswell that
if our mentally upset then your not ready to CTB.
but the journey to acceptance is a difficult one.

and so sharing our experiences may help one another.

For me it has to be listening to Philip Nitschke on both
his podcast and youtube clips.

Actually his input to what happened with Kenny Smith is very informative

'What I wish I'd told Kenny' (before his Nitrogen execution) - The Peaceful Pill Handbook

Alabama death row inmate, Kenny Smith, made history in a way that he never wanted. He became the first prisoner in the US to be executed using a method known as nitrogen hypoxia. Kenny Smith died from a lack of oxygen to his brain. Eye-witness accounts of his death show a man experiencing a...

www.peacefulpillhandbook.com

Also the documentary on the Bridgend suicides helped me a lot


I found that there are two mental battles that must take place to get peace for CTB

One is getting past the societal shame associated with suicide, the stigma and miss information.
For example i had a failed hanging attempt before, and the biggest surprise i had was that hanging doesn't have to hurt yet from years of watching movies i had this idea that hanging was a very physically painful method but it doesn't have to be if you use the right techniques

And one is realising that you will be gone forever and just coming to terms with that
and forgiving all of those who have hurt you, realising that humas are flawed.
and just coming to peace with your final act.

Personally i would rather go with a smile on my face than burden anger and pain.

 

[dreamcatcher90]

Don't forget to read some positive stuff as well: For example there's a book "the subtle art of not giving a fuck" found a pdf online if you would like to take a look https://nibmehub.com/opac-service/p...ng a Good Life by Mark Manson (z-lib.org).pdf

I believe that if a person is having mental battles, there's still lots of will to live and there's always that small amount of hope for your situation to improve.

 

[Evelyn Lane]

I was just wondering what are the views people have on mentally preparing yourself for CTB.

I know the resources section has links to books of how to physically prepare yourself.
But mentally preparing yourself is a whole other kettle of fish.
and in many ways is actually a bigger challenge than the physical preparation.

I mean ya, if you want to be bitter and stubborn.
then you can be bold and just get it over with.

But the aim of the CTB books is to provide the most physically peaceful way to CTB.
So I believe equally that it is as important if not more important
to mentally settle all your anguishing and misery and allow yourself
to come to terms with what your about to do.

I mean why would you want your last moment to be mentally painful?

I mean, if you're not ready, you're not ready, right? No need to push yourself to kill yourself.

 

[Beyond_Repair]

Since setting a date and coming to terms with the fact that my life will end, I've been doing a lot of introspection and reminiscing on my life and coming to terms with things and making peace with myself.

I think once you know you're gonna do it, it puts things into perspective and paradoxically makes life much more bearable. Still want to die, but I'm enjoying the last months and not in near as much emotional turmoil as before

I agree though, it should be a peaceful thing. It's already most likely going to be uncomfortable, might as well be emotionally peaceful

 

[sometimesoon]

I was just wondering what are the views people have on mentally preparing yourself for CTB.

I know the resources section has links to books of how to physically prepare yourself.
But mentally preparing yourself is a whole other kettle of fish.
and in many ways is actually a bigger challenge than the physical preparation.

I mean ya, if you want to be bitter and stubborn.
then you can be bold and just get it over with.

But the aim of the CTB books is to provide the most physically peaceful way to CTB.
So I believe equally that it is as important if not more important
to mentally settle all your anguishing and misery and allow yourself
to come to terms with what your about to do.

I mean why would you want your last moment to be mentally painful?

The way I prepared myself in my attempt is that I kept the time between the decision and the deed really short. So time didn't have a chance to let SI break through.

I put a lot of the "gear" I needed, including a rope, portable pull-up bar that went on the door.
I was in a hotel room because of work. I came back to the room after work - had the urge to CTB and found myself hanging a few minutes later

It failed because I didn't give the support/anchor enough attention but because it was fast from decision to deed I didn't get bothered by SI.

If it had only had worked!

 

[emma99]

The way I prepared myself in my attempt is that I kept the time between the decision and the deed really short. So time didn't have a chance to let SI break through.

I put a lot of the "gear" I needed, including a rope, portable pull-up bar that went on the door.
I was in a hotel room because of work. I came back to the room after work - had the urge to CTB and found myself hanging a few minutes later

It failed because I didn't give the support/anchor enough attention but because it was fast from decision to deed I didn't get bothered by SI.

If it had only had worked!

You know, i think you actually hit the nail on the head.
I tried to hang myself 3 years ago and failed because the noose wasn't tight enough. I had barely enough room to hang myself under a banister.

As banister was vertically above a door and the only way i was going to be able to hang was to first tie off the hole as a noose would of meant more length and feet on floor.

I hadn't heard of partial at the time. and never conceived it. probably because i had actually tried a partial 10 years prior in a psyc ward, and a nurse walked in and told me not to be messing. I mean call it unprofessional, but "stop messing" to emplies "you really think thats going to work" and so i just didn't think partial was even a thing.

Although my attempt failed 3 years ago. I hung myself, passed out and then woke up on the stairs. rang 999 in a panic. and the operator was annoyed that i phoned without a sim card. because they always like to get your phone number encase of cut off. but because i was idk, going killing myself. i removed my sim card. but at the time i was never as anxious as i am this time.

I mean i have everything i need, and could CTB right now if i wanted. but for me the reason is insurance circumstance related. but the time for that is drowning near.

and that is something that is very hard to contend with. I think its actually easier wanting to die and not having knowledge or access of the courage. than it is to have the method, the equipment, the courage, but still holding on in a last ditch attempt at faith.

Ironically that holding on has not only given me things to be thankful for, but the last year of my life has been so painful. I mean Like the snap of a finger. all the hidden childhood memories of abuse just started flowing and didn't stop. And then coming to this site, and just hanging around commenting on different topics. has helped open another door. from remembering to arranging understanding and healing.

I never thought i would ever see myself say that i would rather CTB in sadness rather than in anger. if i CTB. i can actually leave this world, with a happy story ending. The story of which would be:
Childhood Trauma and Neglect - Addiction - Recovery with very very slow healing - Pain - Flashbacks - Relapse - A more Robust Healing.

And the only reason for the Robust healing, was because i found this website.
I mean one way or another i would of CTB. but after finding this site atleast i can now CTB with less hate and more healing in my heart.

 

[sometimesoon]

And the only reason for the Robust healing, was because i found this website.
I mean one way or another i would of CTB. but after finding this site atleast i can now CTB with less hate and more healing in my heart.

I hope things work out better for you - feel free to contact me again - if you wish. I do see somethings in common
take care

 

[DefinitelyReady]

I think there needs to be a dedicated mega thread of this topic.

I would agree, but then I think that's too pressing and agenda pushing, and we can't/don't want to do that.

a whole other kettle of fish.