Discussion Mental preparation for CTB

[deathenvoy]

How are you approaching mental preparation for CTB? I have everything ready: meto&N the only thing is stopping me is fear of death. How to get rid of it?

 

[Nullm]

I dont even think our minds are capable of processing that decision
Mostly because those moments you rather die then live pass by the time you set for ctb
But one of these times maybe your mood surpass your judgment long enough for you to leave

 

[fisil]

Yeah, it's my biggest fear i have the stuff in front of me and not able to do it. I am not sure what i do if this happens. I probably would regret and order again, this is what i literally did when i was not able to drink SN.

 

[Robbyna]

Preparation is hard since aside from SI most people have at least one other hindering variable beyond their control. Aside from not wanting to inflict sadness on my family I'm at a stalemate currently paralyzed by fear of the unknown of death. I want to die, but since I don't know what death entails I'm too afraid to try CTB again. Also my method (partial hanging) leaves too much room for SI. If it weren't for that I'd be dead. I think suicide is something done impulsively at best because thinking too much about it will almost always lead you to back out.

 

[WOODESITY]

I want to ctb by N but then same time i think I'll be unable to drink, alcohol always helped me overcome si, whenever i drink I don't care about anything and i think it'll help me to ctb by hypothemia, when i smoke weed i get extremely paranoid and anxious, seeng this life as nothing and wanting to escape so bad and maybe it'll help me to drink n while I'm high

 

[soda_pressed]

Alcohol probs

 

[Alan James]

I think I would drink N if i have it with incredible enthusiasm and relief. I think so, but there is only one way to know for sure. It seems my SI is rather teasing me to stop this miserable existence - as if nature itself gets rid of the weak and the sick like me. I am not at all afraid of the fact of death, I have been dreaming about it for a long time, but I am very afraid of any physical pain (this is a phobia that i have). It is disgusting and hard to try to do CTB with such a strong fear of pain, it seems that i stuck in a trap, in prison from which there is no way out for me. I'm such a coward, I feel ashamed and disgusting, I must at least once in my life not to be such a weak-willed weakling and do something properly.

 

[Sweetrelease]

I'm so mentally broken, numb, and hollow that I literally don't feel fear let alone any emotion

 

[RodgerThat]

I'm looking forward to it. I'm a pretty nonchalant person overall, and I'm over the fear of death, so I guess I'll just get round to it in the next few months.

 

[angie]

How are you approaching mental preparation for CTB? I have everything ready: meto&N the only thing is stopping me is fear of death. How to get rid of it?

Im in exactly the same position except im not afraid of death! i think its the fear of not knowing if it will work
How your body will react to the meto & N will i have a bad reaction to meto ?? will i be able to drink it all ? .will i fail ? will it take a long time ? will i be in pain ?? its horrendous all these thought when all you want is to end your suffering peacefully and quickly .

 

[throwaway123]

Doing it on impulse helps.