Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Do what's best for you 🕯️ Sometimes I'm stressed
Jul 1, 2020
6,828
They dont feel like mine, but theyre all i remember.

Its almost like i read someone elses story and thats what im remembering.

But i know theyre mine. Even talking to people, theyre not disagreeing with me or anything so they must be mine
 
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Reactions: BitterlyAlive_
BitterlyAlive_

BitterlyAlive_

-
Dec 8, 2020
2,394
I kinda get it. My memories don't really feel like mine either. They're in my brain so they must be mine but lol. Eh. I dunno.
 
Rhaiyne

Rhaiyne

"To be - or not to be.... That is the question"
Jul 4, 2021
107
Yeah... I hear you...
My memories sometimes feel weird... alien... almost borrowed... hahaha... wish they were borrowed and I could return them all to senders...
 
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Do what's best for you 🕯️ Sometimes I'm stressed
Jul 1, 2020
6,828
Yeah... I hear you...
My memories sometimes feel weird... alien... almost borrowed... hahaha... wish they were borrowed and I could return them all to senders...
idk which would be more cruel. 'them' giving me the memories in the first place or me sending them back :pfff: :pfff: :pfff:
 
Celerity

Celerity

shape without form, shade without colour
Jan 24, 2021
2,733
A clinical analysis of what you're describing, particularly because we're on a pro-choice suicide forum, might result in a label of "depersonalization", but I think this is a common enough experience.

We change so much over our lifespans in response to our experiences and environments that it's actually amazing our brain can construct a unitary Self from the chaos of it all.

In Buddhism, the Self is in fact considered to be illusive. Based on my personal experience and what I have read of Buddhism in the controversial book, "What the Buddha Taught", I am inclined to agree with this perspective.


I know that I haven't felt more like my past self as a child in years. A psychologist or therapist might say I have regressed, but how do they know I haven't rediscovered a valid part of myself I have buried to fit in? It's not a particularly cooperative or successful personality, for sure, but I feel as if I have awoken from a dream and again see clearly just how alienating and inhumane our society has always been.

Whereas in the intervening years I saw my childhood as more of a dream (more a waking nightmare) and my then perspective as more real, now the opposite is true.
 
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UseItOrLoseIt

UseItOrLoseIt

1O'8
Dec 4, 2020
2,217
I don't know. They feel distant and unreal in that sense, like they happened in another lifetime. But I definitely feel them as my own. The sting I get every time I remember - these feelings accompanying my memories assure me that they are my own.
And I wish they weren't.
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
37,207
I wish I could forget memories. When I think about the past, it just feels so distant and I just feel so disconnected from my memories. They belong to a past self.
 
S

Symbiote

Global Mod
Oct 12, 2020
3,101
My memories feel alien to me at times. It's weird to explain because I remember other people in them that played a bigger role in it, but I manage to retain it as part of me, even though it's not or shouldn't take precedence over other memories. A lot of stuff inside me I feel I can't claim as my own as part of my identity. Just bits and pieces borrowed from others temporarily until I gain some semblance of identity from within.
 

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